the way of all flesh-第36部分

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greater　part　or　all　of　what　he　has；　before　he　will　know　how　to　keep
what　he　will　get　from　me。〃

Supposing　he　went　bankrupt　before　he　was　twenty…eight　years　old；　the
money　was　to　be　mine　absolutely；　but　she　could　trust　me；　she　said；
to　hand　it　over　to　Ernest　in　due　time。

〃If；〃　she　continued；　〃I　am　mistaken；　the　worst　that　can　happen　is
that　he　will　come　into　a　larger　sum　at　twenty…eight　instead　of　a
smaller　sum　at；　say；　twenty…three；　for　I　would　never　trust　him　with
it　earlier；　andif　he　knows　nothing　about　it　he　will　not　be　unhappy
for　the　want　of　it。〃

She　begged　me　to　take　2000　pounds　in　return　for　the　trouble　I　should
have　in　taking　charge　of　the　boy's　estate；　and　as　a　sign　of　the
testatrix's　hope　that　I　would　now　and　again　look　after　him　while　he
was　still　young。　　The　remaining　3000　pounds　I　was　to　pay　in　legacies
and　annuities　to　friends　and　servants。

In　vain　both　her　lawyer　and　myself　remonstrated　with　her　on　the
unusual　and　hazardous　nature　of　this　arrangement。　　We　told　her　that
sensible　people　will　not　take　a　more　sanguine　view　concerning　human
nature　than　the　Courts　of　Chancery　do。　　We　said；　in　fact；　everything
that　anyone　else　would　say。　　She　admitted　everything；　but　urged　that
her　time　was　short；　that　nothing　would　induce　her　to　leave　her　money
to　her　nephew　in　the　usual　way。　　〃It　is　an　unusually　foolish　will；〃
she　said；　〃but　he　is　an　unusually　foolish　boy；〃　and　she　smiled　quite
merrily　at　her　little　sally。　　Like　all　the　rest　of　her　family；　she
was　very　stubborn　when　her　mind　was　made　up。　　So　the　thing　was　done
as　she　wished　it。

No　provision　was　made　for　either　my　death　or　Ernest'sMiss　Pontifex
had　settled　it　that　we　were　neither　of　us　going　to　die；　and　was　too
ill　to　go　into　details；　she　was　so　anxious；　moreover；　to　sign　her
will　while　still　able　to　do　so　that　we　had　practically　no
alternative　but　to　do　as　she　told　us。　　If　she　recovered　we　could　see
things　put　on　a　more　satisfactory　footing；　and　further　discussion
would　evidently　impair　her　chances　of　recovery；　it　seemed　then　only
too　likely　that　it　was　a　case　of　this　will　or　no　will　at　all。

When　the　will　was　signed　I　wrote　a　letter　in　duplicate；　saying　that
I　held　all　Miss　Pontifex　had　left　me　in　trust　for　Ernest　except　as
regards　5000　pounds；　but　that　he　was　not　to　come　into　the　bequest；
and　was　to　know　nothing　whatever　about　it　directly　or　indirectly；
till　he　was　twenty…eight　years　old；　and　if　he　was　bankrupt　before　he
came　into　it　the　money　was　to　be　mine　absolutely。　　At　the　foot　of
each　letter　Miss　Pontifex　wrote；　〃The　above　was　my　understanding
when　I　made　my　will；〃　and　then　signed　her　name。　　The　solicitor　and
his　clerk　witnessed；　I　kept　one　copy　myself　and　handed　the　other　to
Miss　Pontifex's　solicitor。

When　all　this　had　been　done　she　became　more　easy　in　her　mind。　　She
talked　principally　about　her　nephew。　　〃Don't　scold　him；〃　she　said；
〃if　he　is　volatile；　and　continually　takes　things　up　only　to　throw
them　down　again。　　How　can　he　find　out　his　strength　or　weakness
otherwise？　　A　man's　profession；〃　she　said；　and　here　she　gave　one　of
her　wicked　little　laughs；　〃is　not　like　his　wife；　which　he　must　take
once　for　all；　for　better　for　worse；　without　proof　beforehand。　　Let
him　go　here　and　there；　and　learn　his　truest　liking　by　finding　out
what；　after　all；　he　catches　himself　turning　to　most　habituallythen
let　him　stick　to　this；　but　I　daresay　Ernest　will　be　forty　or　five
and　forty　before　he　settles　down。　　Then　all　his　previous
infidelities　will　work　together　to　him　for　good　if　he　is　the　boy　I
hope　he　is。

〃Above　all；〃　she　continued；　〃do　not　let　him　work　up　to　his　full
strength；　except　once　or　twice　in　his　lifetime；　nothing　is　well　done
nor　worth　doing　unless；　take　it　all　round；　it　has　come　pretty
easily。　　Theobald　and　Christina　would　give　him　a　pinch　of　salt　and
tell　him　to　put　it　on　the　tails　of　the　seven　deadly　virtues；〃here
she　laughed　again　in　her　old　manner　at　once　so　mocking　and　so　sweet…
…〃I　think　if　he　likes　pancakes　he　had　perhaps　better　eat　them　on
Shrove　Tuesday；　but　this　is　enough。〃　　These　were　the　last　coherent
words　she　spoke。　　From　that　time　she　grew　continually　worse；　and　was
never　free　from　delirium　till　her　deathwhich　took　place　less　than
a　fortnight　afterwards；　to　the　inexpressible　grief　of　those　who　knew
and　loved　her。



CHAPTER　XXXVI



Letters　had　been　written　to　Miss　Pontifex's　brothers　and　sisters；
and　one　and　all　came　post…haste　to　Roughborough。　　Before　they
arrived　the　poor　lady　was　already　delirious；　and　for　the　sake　of　her
own　peace　at　the　last　I　am　half　glad　she　never　recovered
consciousness。

I　had　known　these　people　all　their　lives；　as　none　can　know　each
other　but　those　who　have　played　together　as　children；　I　knew　how
they　had　all　of　themperhaps　Theobald　least；　but　all　of　them　more
or　lessmade　her　life　a　burden　to　her　until　the　death　of　her　father
had　made　her　her　own　mistress；　and　I　was　displeased　at　their　coming
one　after　the　other　to　Roughborough；　and　inquiring　whether　their
sister　had　recovered　consciousness　sufficiently　to　be　able　to　see
them。　　It　was　known　that　she　had　sent　for　me　on　being　taken　ill；　and
that　I　remained　at　Roughborough；　and　I　own　I　was　angered　by　the
mingled　air　of　suspicion；　defiance　and　inquisitiveness；　with　which
they　regarded　me。　　They　would　all；　except　Theobald；　I　believe　have
cut　me　downright　if　they　had　not　believed　me　to　know　something　they
wanted　to　know　themselves；　and　might　have　some　chance　of　learning
from　mefor　it　was　plain　I　had　been　in　some　way　concerned　with　the
making　of　their　sister's　will。　　None　of　them　suspected　what　the
ostensible　nature　of　this　would　be；　but　I　think　they　feared　Miss
Pontifex　was　about　to　leave　money　for　public　uses。　　John　said　to　me
in　his　blandest　manner　that　he　fancied　he　remembered　to　have　heard
his　sister　say　that　she　thought　of　leaving　money　to　found　a　college
for　the　relief　of　dramatic　authors　in　distress；　to　this　I　made　no
rejoinder；　and　I　have　no　doubt　his　suspicions　were　deepened。

When　the　end　came；　I　got　Miss　Pontifex's　solicitor　to　write　and　tell
her　brothers　and　sisters　how　she　had　left　her　money：　　they　were　not
unnaturally　furious；　and　went　each　to　his　or　her　separate　home
without　attending　the　funeral；　and　without　paying　any　attention　to
myself。　　This　was　perhaps　the　kindest　thing　they　could　have　done　by
me；　for　their　behaviour　made　me　so　angry　that　I　became　almost
reconciled　to　Alethea's　will　out　of　pleasure　at　the　anger　it　had
aroused。　　But　for　this　I　should　have　felt　the　will　keenly；　as　having
been　placed　by　it　in　the　position　which　of　all　others　I　had　been
most　anxious　to　avoid；　and　as　having　saddled　me　with　a　very　heavy
responsibility。　　Still　it　was　impossible　for　me　to　escape；　and　I
could　only　let　things　take　their　course。

Miss　Pontifex　had　expressed　a　wish　to　be　buried　at　Paleham；　in　the
course　of　the　next　few　days　I　therefore　took　the　body　thither。　　I
had　not　been　to　Paleham　since　the　death　of　my　father　some　six　years
earlier。　　I　had　often　wished　to　go　there；　but　had　shrunk　from　doing
so　though　my　sister　had　been　two　or　three　times。　　I　could　not　bear
to　see　the　house　which　had　been　my　home　for　so　many　years　of　my　life
in　the　hands　of　strangers；　to　ring　ceremoniously　at　a　bell　which　I
had　never　yet　pulled　except　as　a　boy　in　jest；　to　feel　that　I　had
nothing　to　do　with　a　garden　in　which　I　had　in　childhood　gathered　so
many　a　nosegay；　and　which　had　seemed　my　own　for　many　years　after　I
had　reached　man's　estate；　to　see　the　rooms　bereft　of　every　familiar
feature；　and　made　so　unfamiliar　in　spite　of　their　familiarity。　　Had
there　been　any　sufficient　reason；　I　should　have　taken　these　things
as　a　matter　of　course；　and　should　no　doubt　have　found　them　much
worse　in　anticipation　than　in　reality；　but　as　there　had　been　no
special　reason　why　I　should　go　to　Paleham　I　had　hitherto　avoided
doing　so。　　Now；　however；　my　going　was　a　necessity；　and　I　confess　I
never　felt　more　subdued　than　I　did　on　arriving　there　with　the　dead
playmate　of　my　childhood。

I　found　the　village　more　changed　than　I　had　expected。　　The　railway
had　come　there；　and　a　brand　new　yellow　brick　station　was　on　the　site
of　old　Mr　and　Mrs　Pontifex's　cottage。　　Nothing　but　the　carpenter's
shop　was　now　standing。　　I　saw　many　faces　I　knew；　but　even　in　six
years　they　seemed　to　have　grown　wonderfully　older。　　Some　of　the　very
old　were　dead；　and　the　old　were　getting　very　old　in　their　stead。　　I
felt　like　the　changeling　in　the　fairy　story　who　came　back　after　a
seven　years'　sleep。　　Everyone　seemed　glad　to　see　me；　though　I　had
never　given　them　particular　cause　to　be　so；　and　everyone　who
remembered　old　Mr　and　Mrs　Pontifex　spoke　warmly　of　them　and　were
pleased　at　their　granddaughter's　wishing　to　be　laid　near　them。
Entering　the　churchyard　and　standing　in　the　twilight　of　a　gusty
cloudy　evening　on　the　spot　close　beside　old　Mrs　Pontifex's　grave
which　I　had　chosen　for　Alethea's；　I　thought　of　the　many　times　that
she；　who　would　lie　there　henceforth；　and　I；　who　must　surely　lie　one
day　in　some　such　another　place　though　when　and　where　I　knew　not；　had
romped　over　this　very　spot　as　childish　lovers　together。　　Next
morning　I　followed　her　to　the　grave；　and　in　due　course　set　up　a
plain　upright　slab