the way of all flesh-第96部分

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the　phenomena　of　living　that　I　suppose　on　the　whole　it　would　be　less
trouble　to　think　of　him　as　having　been　alive　than　as　never　having
been　born　at　all；　but　this　is　only　possible　because　association　does
not　stick　to　the　strict　letter　of　its　bond。

This；　however；　was　not　the　general　verdict　concerning　him；　and　the
general　verdict　is　often　the　truest。

Ernest　was　overwhelmed　with　expressions　of　condolence　and　respect
for　his　father's　memory。　　〃He　never；〃　said　Dr　Martin；　the　old　doctor
who　brought　Ernest　into　the　world；　〃spoke　an　ill　word　against
anyone。　　He　was　not　only　liked；　he　was　beloved　by　all　who　had
anything　to　do　with　him。〃

〃A　more　perfectly　just　and　righteously　dealing　man；〃　said　the　family
solicitor；　〃I　have　never　had　anything　to　do　withnor　one　more
punctual　in　the　discharge　of　every　business　obligation。〃

〃We　shall　miss　him　sadly；〃　the　bishop　wrote　to　Joey　in　the　very
warmest　terms。　　The　poor　were　in　consternation。　　〃The　well's　never
missed；〃　said　one　old　woman；　〃till　it's　dry；〃　and　she　only　said　what
everyone　else　felt。　　Ernest　knew　that　the　general　regret　was
unaffected　as　for　a　loss　which　could　not　be　easily　repaired。　　He
felt　that　there　were　only　three　people　in　the　world　who　joined
insincerely　in　the　tribute　of　applause；　and　these　were　the　very
three　who　could　least　show　their　want　of　sympathy。　　I　mean　Joey；
Charlotte；　and　himself。　　He　felt　bitter　against　himself　for　being　of
a　mind　with　either　Joey　or　Charlotte　upon　any　subject；　and　thankful
that　he　must　conceal　his　being　so　as　far　as　possible；　not　because　of
anything　his　father　had　done　to　himthese　grievances　were　too　old
to　be　remembered　nowbut　because　he　would　never　allow　him　to　feel
towards　him　as　he　was　always　trying　to　feel。　　As　long　as
communication　was　confined　to　the　merest　commonplace　all　went　well；
but　if　these　were　departed　from　ever　such　a　little　he　invariably
felt　that　his　father's　instincts　showed　themselves　in　immediate
opposition　to　his　own。　　When　he　was　attacked　his　father　laid
whatever　stress　was　possible　on　everything　which　his　opponents　said。
If　he　met　with　any　check　his　father　was　clearly　pleased。　　What　the
old　doctor　had　said　about　Theobald's　speaking　ill　of　no　man　was
perfectly　true　as　regards　others　than　himself；　but　he　knew　very　well
that　no　one　had　injured　his　reputation　in　a　quiet　way；　so　far　as　he
dared　to　do；　more　than　his　own　father。　　This　is　a　very　common　case
and　a　very　natural　one。　　It　often　happens　that　if　the　son　is　right；
the　father　is　wrong；　and　the　father　is　not　going　to　have　this　if　he
can　help　it。

It　was　very　hard；　however；　to　say　what　was　the　true　root　of　the
mischief　in　the　present　case。　　It　was　not　Ernest's　having　been
imprisoned。　　Theobald　forgot　all　about　that　much　sooner　than　nine
fathers　out　of　ten　would　have　done。　　Partly；　no　doubt；　it　was　due　to
incompatibility　of　temperament；　but　I　believe　the　main　ground　of
complaint　lay　in　the　fact　that　he　had　been　so　independent　and　so
rich　while　still　very　young；　and　that　thus　the　old　gentleman　had
been　robbed　of　his　power　to　tease　and　scratch　in　the　way　which　he
felt　he　was　entitled　to　do。　　The　love　of　teasing　in　a　small　way　when
he　felt　safe　in　doing　so　had　remained　part　of　his　nature　from　the
days　when　he　told　his　nurse　that　he　would　keep　her　on　purpose　to
torment　her。　　I　suppose　it　is　so　with　all　of　us。　　At　any　rate　I　am
sure　that　most　fathers；　especially　if　they　are　clergymen；　are　like
Theobald。

He　did　not　in　reality；　I　am　convinced；　like　Joey　or　Charlotte　one
whit　better　than　he　liked　Ernest。　　He　did　not　like　anyone　or
anything；　or　if　he　liked　anyone　at　all　it　was　his　butler；　who　looked
after　him　when　he　was　not　well；　and　took　great　care　of　him　and
believed　him　to　be　the　best　and　ablest　man　in　the　whole　world。
Whether　this　faithful　and　attached　servant　continued　to　think　this
after　Theobald's　will　was　opened　and　it　was　found　what　kind　of
legacy　had　been　left　him　I　know　not。　　Of　his　children；　the　baby　who
had　died　at　a　day　old　was　the　only　one　whom　he　held　to　have　treated
him　quite　filially。　　As　for　Christina　he　hardly　ever　pretended　to
miss　her　and　never　mentioned　her　name；　but　this　was　taken　as　a　proof
that　he　felt　her　loss　too　keenly　to　be　able　ever　to　speak　of　her。
It　may　have　been　so；　but　I　do　not　think　it。

Theobald's　effects　were　sold　by　auction；　and　among　them　the　Harmony
of　the　Old　and　New　Testaments　which　he　had　compiled　during　many
years　with　such　exquisite　neatness　and　a　huge　collection　of　MS。
sermonsbeing　all　in　fact　that　he　had　ever　written。　　These　and　the
Harmony　fetched　ninepence　a　barrow　load。　　I　was　surprised　to　hear
that　Joey　had　not　given　the　three　or　four　shillings　which　would　have
bought　the　whole　lot；　but　Ernest　tells　me　that　Joey　was　far　fiercer
in　his　dislike　of　his　father　than　ever　he　had　been　himself；　and
wished　to　get　rid　of　everything　that　reminded　him　of　him。

It　has　already　appeared　that　both　Joey　and　Charlotte　are　married。
Joey　has　a　family；　but　he　and　Ernest　very　rarely　have　any
intercourse。　　Of　course；　Ernest　took　nothing　under　his　father's
will；　this　had　long　been　understood；　so　that　the　other　two　are　both
well　provided　for。

Charlotte　is　as　clever　as　ever；　and　sometimes　asks　Ernest　to　come
and　stay　with　her　and　her　husband　near　Dover；　I　suppose　because　she
knows　that　the　invitation　will　not　be　agreeable　to　him。　　There　is　a
de　haut　en　bas　tone　in　all　her　letters；　it　is　rather　hard　to　lay
one's　finger　upon　it　but　Ernest　never　gets　a　letter　from　her　without
feeling　that　he　is　being　written　to　by　one　who　has　had　direct
communication　with　an　angel。　　〃What　an　awful　creature；〃　he　once　said
to　me；　〃that　angel　must　have　been　if　it　had　anything　to　do　with
making　Charlotte　what　she　is。〃

〃Could　you　like；〃　she　wrote　to　him　not　long　ago；　〃the　thoughts　of　a
little　sea　change　here？　　The　top　of　the　cliffs　will　soon　be　bright
with　heather：　　the　gorse　must　be　out　already；　and　the　heather　I
should　think　begun；　to　judge　by　the　state　of　the　hill　at　Ewell；　and
heather　or　no　heatherthe　cliffs　are　always　beautiful；　and　if　you
come　your　room　shall　be　cosy　so　that　you　may　have　a　resting　corner
to　yourself。　　Nineteen　and　sixpence　is　the　price　of　a　return…ticket
which　covers　a　month。　　Would　you　decide　just　as　you　would　yourself
like；　only　if　you　come　we　would　hope　to　try　and　make　it　bright　for
you；　but　you　must　not　feel　it　a　burden　on　your　mind　if　you　feel
disinclined　to　come　in　this　direction。〃

〃When　I　have　a　bad　nightmare；〃　said　Ernest　to　me；　laughing　as　he
showed　me　this　letter；　〃I　dream　that　I　have　got　to　stay　with
Charlotte。〃

Her　letters　are　supposed　to　be　unusually　well　written；　and　I　believe
it　is　said　among　the　family　that　Charlotte　has　far　more　real
literary　power　than　Ernest　has。　　Sometimes　we　think　that　she　is
writing　at　him　as　much　as　to　say；　〃There　nowdon't　you　think　you
are　the　only　one　of　us　who　can　write；　read　this！　　And　if　you　want　a
telling　bit　of　descriptive　writing　for　your　next　book；　you　can　make
what　use　of　it　you　like。〃　　I　daresay　she　writes　very　well；　but　she
has　fallen　under　the　dominion　of　the　words　〃hope；〃　〃think；〃　〃feel；〃
〃try；〃　〃bright；〃　and　〃little；〃　and　can　hardly　write　a　page　without
introducing　all　these　words　and　some　of　them　more　than　once。　　All
this　has　the　effect　of　making　her　style　monotonous。

Ernest　is　as　fond　of　music　as　ever；　perhaps　more　so；　and　of　late
years　has　added　musical　composition　to　the　other　irons　in　his　fire。
He　finds　it　still　a　little　difficult；　and　is　in　constant　trouble
through　getting　into　the　key　of　C　sharp　after　beginning　in　the　key
of　C　and　being　unable　to　get　back　again。

〃Getting　into　the　key　of　C　sharp；〃　he　said；　〃is　like　an　unprotected
female　travelling　on　the　Metropolitan　Railway；　and　finding　herself
at　Shepherd's　Bush；　without　quite　knowing　where　she　wants　to　go　to。
How　is　she　ever　to　get　safe　back　to　Clapham　Junction？　　And　Clapham
Junction　won't　quite　do　either；　for　Clapham　Junction　is　like　the
diminished　seventhsusceptible　of　such　enharmonic　change；　that　you
can　resolve　it　into　all　the　possible　termini　of　music。〃

Talking　of　music　reminds　me　of　a　little　passage　that　took　place
between　Ernest　and　Miss　Skinner；　Dr　Skinner's　eldest　daughter；　not
so　very　long　ago。　　Dr　Skinner　had　long　left　Roughborough；　and　had
become　Dean　of　a　Cathedral　in　one　of　our　Midland　countiesa
position　which　exactly　suited　him。　　Finding　himself　once　in　the
neighbourhood　Ernest　called；　for　old　acquaintance　sake；　and　was
hospitably　entertained　at　lunch。

Thirty　years　had　whitened　the　Doctor's　bushy　eyebrowshis　hair　they
could　not　whiten。　　I　believe　that　but　for　that　wig　he　would　have
been　made　a　bishop。

His　voice　and　manner　were　unchanged；　and　when　Ernest　remarking　upon
a　plan　of　Rome　which　hung　in　the　hall；　spoke　inadvertently　of　the
Quirinal；　he　replied　with　all　his　wonted　pomp：　　〃Yes；　the　QuirInal
or　as　I　myself　prefer　to　call　it；　the　QuirInal。〃　　After　this　triumph
he　inhaled　a　long　breath　through　the　corners　of　his　mouth；　and　flung
it　back　again　into　the　face　of　Heaven；　as　in　his　finest　form　during
his　head…mastership。　　At　lunch　he　did　indeed　once　say；　〃next　to
impossible　to　think　of　anything　else；〃　but　he　immediately　corrected
himself　and　substituted　the　words；　〃ne