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she-第41部分

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I have it; for he is in the very jaws of death; whence 
no power of mine can draw him。 And if he die; surely 
must the Hell be lived through once moreonce more 
must I face the weary centuries; and wait; and wait 
till the time in its fulness shall bring my beloved 
back to me。 And then thou gavest him the medicine; and 
that five minutes dragged along before I knew if he 
would live or die; and I tell thee that all the sixty 
generations that are gone were not so long as that 
five minutes。 But they passed at length; and still he 
showed no sign; and I knew that if the drug works not 
then; so far as I have had knowledge; it works not at 
all。 Then thought I that he was once more dead; and 
all the tortures of all the years gathered themselves 
into a single venomed spear; and pierced me through 
and through; because once again I had lost 
Kallikrates! And then; when all was done; behold! he 
sighed; behold! he lived; and I knew that he would 
live; for none die on whom the drug takes hold。 Think 
of it now; my Hollythink of the wonder of it! He 
will sleep for twelve hours; and then the fever will 
have left him!〃

 _i_ She _i_ stopped; and laid her hand upon the 
golden head; and then bent down and kissed the brow 
with a chastened abandonment of tenderness that would 
have been beautiful to behold had not the sight cut me 
to the heartfor I was jealous!

CHAPTER XVIII

GO; WOMAN!

THEN followed a silence of a minute or so; during 
which _i_ She _i_ appeared; if one might judge from 
the almost angelic rapture of her facefor she looked 
angelic sometimesto be plunged in a happy ecstasy。 
Suddenly; however; a new thought struck her; and her 
expression became the very reverse of angelic。

〃Almost had I forgotten;〃 she said; 〃that woman; 
Ustane。 What is she to Kallikrateshis servant; or〃 
and she paused; and her voice trembled。

I shrugged my shoulders。 〃I understand that she is wed 
to him according to the custom of the Amahagger;〃 I 
answered; 〃but I know not。〃

Her face grew dark as a thundercloud。 Old as she was; 
Ayesha had not outlived jealousy。

〃Then there is an end;〃 she said; 〃she must die; even 
now!〃

〃For what crime?〃 I asked; horrified。 〃She is guilty 
of naught that thou art not guilty of thyself; O 
Ayesha。 She loves the man; and he has been pleased to 
accept her love: where; then; is her Sin?〃

〃Truly; O Holly; thou art foolish;〃 she answered; 
almost petulantly。 〃Where is her sin? Her sin is that 
she stands between me and my desire。 Well I know that 
I can take him from herfor dwells there a man upon 
this earth; O Holly; who could resist me if I put out 
my strength? Men are faithful for so long only as 
temptations pass them by。 If the temptation be but 
strong enough; then will the man yield; for every man; 
like every rope; hath his breaking strain; and passion 
is to men what gold and power are to womenthe weight 
upon their weakness。 Believe me; ill will it go with 
mortal women in that heaven of which thou speakest; if 
only the spirits be more fair; for their lords will 
never turn to look upon them; and their heaven will 
become their hell。 For man can be bought with woman's 
beauty; if it be but beautiful enough; and woman's 
beauty can be ever bought with gold; if only there be 
gold enough。 So was it in my day; and so it will be to 
the end of time。 The world is a great mart; my Holly; 
where all things are for sale to him who bids the 
highest in the currency of our desires。〃

These remarks; which were as cynical as might have 
been expected from a woman of Ayesha's age and 
experience; jarred upon me; and I answered; testily; 
that in our heaven there was no marriage or giving in 
marriage。

〃Else would it not be heaven; dost thou mean?〃 she put 
in。 〃Fie upon thee; Holly; to think so ill of us poor 
women! Is it; then; marriage that marks the line 
between thy heaven and thy hell? But enough of this。 
This is no time for disputing and the challenge of our 
wits。 Why dost thou always dispute? Art thou also a 
philosopher of these latter days? As for this woman; 
she must die; for though I can take her lover from 
her; yet; while she lived; might he think tenderly of 
her; and that I cannot away with。 No other woman shall 
dwell in my lord's thoughts; my empire shall be all my 
own。 She hath had her day; let her be content; for 
better is an hour with love than a century of 
lonelinessnow the night shall swallow her。〃

〃Nay; nay;〃 I cried; 〃it would be a wicked crime; and 
from a crime naught comes but what is evil。 For thine 
own sake do not this deed。〃

〃Is it; then; a crime; O foolish man; to put away that 
which stands between us and our ends? Then is our life 
one long crime; my Holly; for day by day we destroy 
that we may live; since in this world none save the 
strongest can endure。 Those who are weak must perish; 
the earth is to the strong; and the fruits thereof。 
For every tree that grows; a score shall wither; that 
the strong ones may take their share。 We run to place 
and power over the dead bodies of those who fail and 
fall; ay; we win the food we eat from out the mouths 
of starving babes。 It is the scheme of things。 Thou 
sayest; too; that a crime breeds evil; but therein 
thou dost lack experience; for out of crimes come many 
good things; and out of good grows much evil。 The 
cruel rage of the tyrant may prove a blessing to 
thousands who come after him; and the sweet…
heartedness of a holy man may make a nation slaves。 
Man doeth this and doeth that from the good or evil of 
his heart; but he knoweth not to what end his moral 
sense doth prompt him; for when he striketh he is 
blind to where the blow shall fall; nor can he count 
the airy threads that weave the web of circumstance。 
Good and evil; love and hate; night and day; sweet and 
bitter; man and woman; heaven above and earth beneath…
…all these things are necessary one to the other; and 
who knows the end of each? I tell thee that there is a 
hand of Fate that twines them up to bear the burden of 
its purpose; and all things are gathered in that great 
rope to which all things are needful。 Therefore doth 
it not become us to say this thing is evil and this 
good; or the dark is hateful and the light lovely; for 
to other eyes than ours the evil may be the good and 
the darkness more beautiful than the day; or all alike 
be fair。 Hearest thou; my Holly?〃

I felt it was hopeless to argue against casuistry of 
this nature; which; if it were carried to its logical 
conclusion; would absolutely destroy all morality; as 
we understand it。 But her talk gave me a fresh thrill 
of fear; for what may not be possible to a being who; 
unconstrained by human law; is also absolutely 
unshackled by a moral sense of right and wrong; which; 
however partial and conventional it may be; is yet 
based; as our conscience tells us; upon the great wall 
of individual responsibility that marks off mankind 
from the beasts。

But I was deeply anxious to save Ustane; whom I liked 
and respected; from the dire fate that overshadowed 
her at the hands of her mighty rival。 So I made one 
more appeal。

〃Ayesha;〃 I said; 〃thou art too subtle for me; but 
thou thyself hast told me that each man should be a 
law unto himself; and follow the teaching of his 
heart。 Hath thy heart no mercy towards her whose place 
thou wouldst take? Bethink thee; as thou sayest
though to me the thing is incrediblehim whom thou 
desirest has returned to thee after many ages; and but 
now thou hast; as thou sayest also; wrung him from the 
jaws of death。 Wilt thou celebrate his coming by the 
murder of one who loved him; and whom perchance he 
lovedone; at the least who saved his life for thee 
when the spears of thy slaves would have made an end 
thereof? Thou sayest also that in past days thou didst 
grievously wrong this man; that with thine own hand 
thou didst slay him because of the Egyptian Amenartas 
whom he loved。〃

〃How knowest thou that; O stranger? How knowest thou 
that name? I spoke it not to thee;〃 she broke in with 
a cry; catching at my arm。

〃Perchance I dreamed it;〃 I answered; 〃strange dreams 
do hover about these caves of Ko^r。 It seems that the 
dream was; indeed; a shadow of the truth。 What came to 
thee of thy mad crime?two thousand years of waiting; 
was it not? And now wouldst thou repeat the history? 
Say what thou wilt; I tell thee that evil will come of 
it; for to him who doeth; at the least; good breeds 
good and evil evil; even though in after…days out of 
evil cometh good。 Offences must needs come; but woe to 
him by whom the offence cometh。 So said that Messiah 
of whom I spoke to thee; and it was truly said。 If 
thou slayest this innocent woman; I say unto thee that 
thou shalt be accursed; and pluck no fruit from thine 
ancient tree of love。 Also; what thinkest thou? How 
will this man take thee redhanded from the slaughter 
of her who loved and tended him?''

〃As to that;〃 she answered; 〃I have already answered 
thee。 Had I slain thee as well as her; yet should he 
love me; Holly; because he could not save himself 
therefrom any more than thou cou
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