memoirs of carwin the biloquist-第3部分

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The　darkness　was　intense　and　I　sought　with　outstretched　hands　for　his　bed。　　The　darkness；　added　to　the　trepidation　of　my　thoughts；　disabled　me　from　making　a　right　estimate　of　distances：　　I　was　conscious　of　this；　and　when　I　advanced　within　the　room；　paused。

I　endeavoured　to　compare　the　progress　I　had　made　with　my　knowledge　of　the　room；　and　governed　by　the　result　of　this　comparison；　proceeded　cautiously　and　with　hands　still　outstretched　in　search　of　the　foot　of　the　bed。　　At　this　moment　lightning　flashed　into　the　room：　　the　brightness　of　the　gleam　was　dazzling；　yet　it　afforded　me　an　exact　knowledge　of　my　situation。　　I　had　mistaken　my　way；　and　discovered　that　my　knees　nearly　touched　the　bedstead；　and　that　my　hands　at　the　next　step；　would　have　touched　my　father's　cheek。　　His　closed　eyes　and　every　line　in　his　countenance；　were　painted；　as　it　were；　for　an　instant　on　my　sight。

The　flash　was　accompanied　with　a　burst　of　thunder；　whose　vehemence　was　stunning。　　I　always　entertained　a　dread　of　thunder；　and　now　recoiled；　overborne　with　terror。　　Never　had　I　witnessed　so　luminous　a　gleam　and　so　tremendous　a　shock；　yet　my　father's　slumber　appeared　not　to　be　disturbed　by　it。

I　stood　irresolute　and　trembling；　to　prosecute　my　purpose　in　this　state　of　mind　was　impossible。　　I　resolved　for　the　present　to　relinquish　it；　and　turned　with　a　view　of　exploring　my　way　out　of　the　chamber。　　Just　then　a　light　seen　through　the　window；　caught　my　eye。　　It　was　at　first　weak　but　speedily　increased；　no　second　thought　was　necessary　to　inform　me　that　the　barn；　situated　at　a　small　distance　from　the　house；　and　newly　stored　with　hay；　was　in　flames；　in　consequence　of　being　struck　by　the　lightning。

My　terror　at　this　spectacle　made　me　careless　of　all　consequences　relative　to　myself。　　I　rushed　to　the　bed　and　throwing　myself　on　my　father；　awakened　him　by　loud　cries。　　The　family　were　speedily　roused；　and　were　compelled　to　remain　impotent　spectators　of　the　devastation。　　Fortunately　the　wind　blew　in　a　contrary　direction；　so　that　our　habitation　was　not　injured。

The　impression　that　was　made　upon　me　by　the　incidents　of　that　night　is　indelible。　　The　wind　gradually　rose　into　an　hurricane；　the　largest　branches　were　torn　from　the　trees；　and　whirled　aloft　into　the　air；　others　were　uprooted　and　laid　prostrate　on　the　ground。　The　barn　was　a　spacious　edifice；　consisting　wholly　of　wood；　and　filled　with　a　plenteous　harvest。　　Thus　supplied　with　fuel；　and　fanned　by　the　wind；　the　fire　raged　with　incredible　fury；　meanwhile　clouds　rolled　above；　whose　blackness　was　rendered　more　conspicuous　by　reflection　from　the　flames；　the　vast　volumes　of　smoke　were　dissipated　in　a　moment　by　the　storm；　while　glowing　fragments　and　cinders　were　borne　to　an　immense　hight；　and　tossed　everywhere　in　wild　confusion。　　Ever　and　anon　the　sable　canopy　that　hung　around　us　was　streaked　with　lightning；　and　the　peals；　by　which　it　was　accompanied；　were　deafning；　and　with　scarcely　any　intermission。

It　was；　doubtless；　absurd　to　imagine　any　connexion　between　this　portentous　scene　and　the　purpose　that　I　had　meditated；　yet　a　belief　of　this　connexion；　though　wavering　and　obscure；　lurked　in　my　mind；　something　more　than　a　coincidence　merely　casual；　appeared　to　have　subsisted　between　my　situation；　at　my　father's　bed　side；　and　the　flash　that　darted　through　the　window；　and　diverted　me　from　my　design。　　It　palsied　my　courage；　and　strengthened　my　conviction；　that　my　scheme　was　criminal。

After　some　time　had　elapsed；　and　tranquility　was；　in　some　degree；　restored　in　the　family；　my　father　reverted　to　the　circumstances　in　which　I　had　been　discovered　on　the　first　alarm　of　this　event。　　The　truth　was　impossible　to　be　told。　　I　felt　the　utmost　reluctance　to　be　guilty　of　a　falsehood；　but　by　falsehood　only　could　I　elude　detection。　　That　my　guilt　was　the　offspring　of　a　fatal　necessity；　that　the　injustice　of　others　gave　it　birth　and　made　it　unavoidable；　afforded　me　slight　consolation。　　Nothing　can　be　more　injurious　than　a　lie；　but　its　evil　tendency　chiefly　respects　our　future　conduct。　　Its　direct　consequences　may　be　transient　and　few；　but　it　facilitates　a　repetition；　strengthens　temptation；　and　grows　into　habit。　　I　pretended　some　necessity　had　drawn　me　from　my　bed；　and　that　discovering　the　condition　of　the　barn；　I　hastened　to　inform　my　father。

Some　time　after　this；　my　father　summoned　me　to　his　presence。　I　had　been　previously　guilty　of　disobedience　to　his　commands；　in　a　matter　about　which　he　was　usually　very　scrupulous。　　My　brother　had　been　privy　to　my　offence；　and　had　threatened　to　be　my　accuser。　　On　this　occasion　I　expected　nothing　but　arraignment　and　punishment。　　Weary　of　oppression；　and　hopeless　of　any　change　in　my　father's　temper　and　views；　I　had　formed　the　resolution　of　eloping　from　his　house；　and　of　trusting；　young　as　I　was；　to　the　caprice　of　fortune。　I　was　hesitating　whether　to　abscond　without　the　knowledge　of　the　family；　or　to　make　my　resolutions　known　to　them；　and　while　I　avowed　my　resolution；　to　adhere　to　it　in　spite　of　opposition　and　remonstrances；　when　I　received　this　summons。

I　was　employed　at　this　time　in　the　field；　night　was　approaching；　and　I　had　made　no　preparation　for　departure；　all　the　preparation　in　my　power　to　make；　was　indeed　small；　a　few　clothes；　made　into　a　bundle；　was　the　sum　of　my　possessions。　　Time　would　have　little　influence　in　improving　my　prospects；　and　I　resolved　to　execute　my　scheme　immediately。

I　left　my　work　intending　to　seek　my　chamber；　and　taking　what　was　my　own；　to　disappear　forever。　　I　turned　a　stile　that　led　out　of　the　field　into　a　bye　path；　when　my　father　appeared　before　me；　advancing　in　an　opposite　direction；　to　avoid　him　was　impossible；　and　I　summoned　my　fortitude　to　a　conflict　with　his　passion。

As　soon　as　we　met；　instead　of　anger　and　upbraiding；　he　told　me；　that　he　had　been　reflecting　on　my　aunt's　proposal；　to　take　me　under　her　protection；　and　had　concluded　that　the　plan　was　proper；　if　I　still　retained　my　wishes　on　that　head；　he　would　readily　comply　with　them；　and　that；　if　I　chose；　I　might　set　off　for　the　city　next　morning；　as　a　neighbours　waggon　was　preparing　to　go。

I　shall　not　dwell　on　the　rapture　with　which　this　proposal　was　listened　to：　　it　was　with　difficulty　that　I　persuaded　myself　that　he　was　in　earnest　in　making　it；　nor　could　divine　the　reasons；　for　so　sudden　and　unexpected　a　change　in　his　maxims。　。　。　。　　These　I　afterwards　discovered。　　Some　one　had　instilled　into　him　fears；　that　my　aunt　exasperated　at　his　opposition　to　her　request；　respecting　the　unfortunate　Frank；　would　bequeath　her　property　to　strangers；　to　obviate　this　evil；　which　his　avarice　prompted　him　to　regard　as　much　greater　than　any　mischief；　that　would　accrue　to　me；　from　the　change　of　my　abode；　he　embraced　her　proposal。

I　entered　with　exultation　and　triumph　on　this　new　scene；　my　hopes　were　by　no　means　disappointed。　　Detested　labour　was　exchanged　for　luxurious　idleness。　　I　was　master　of　my　time；　and　the　chuser　of　my　occupations。　　My　kinswoman　on　discovering　that　I　entertained　no　relish　for　the　drudgery　of　colleges；　and　was　contented　with　the　means　of　intellectual　gratification；　which　I　could　obtain　under　her　roof；　allowed　me　to　pursue　my　own　choice。

Three　tranquil　years　passed　away；　during　which；　each　day　added　to　my　happiness；　by　adding　to　my　knowledge。　　My　biloquial　faculty　was　not　neglected。　　I　improved　it　by　assiduous　exercise；　I　deeply　reflected　on　the　use　to　which　it　might　be　applied。　　I　was　not　destitute　of　pure　intentions；　I　delighted　not　in　evil；　I　was　incapable　of　knowingly　contributing　to　another's　misery；　but　the　sole　or　principal　end　of　my　endeavours　was　not　the　happiness　of　others。

I　was　actuated　by　ambition。　　I　was　delighted　to　possess　superior　power；　I　was　prone　to　manifest　that　superiority；　and　was　satisfied　if　this　were　done；　without　much　solicitude　concerning　consequences。　　I　sported　frequently　with　the　apprehensions　of　my　associates；　and　threw　out　a　bait　for　their　wonder；　and　supplied　them　with　occasions　for　the　structure　of　theories。　　It　may　not　be　amiss　to　enumerate　one　or　two　adventures　in　which　I　was　engaged。



Chapter　III。


I　had　taken　much　pains　to　improve　the　sagacity　of　a　favourite　Spaniel。　　It　was　my　purpose；　indeed；　to　ascertain　to　what　degree　of　improvement　the　principles　of　reasoning　and　imitation　could　be　carried　in　a　dog。　　There　is　no　doubt　that　the　animal　affixes　distinct　ideas　to　sounds。　　What　are　the　possible　limits　of　his　vocabulary　no　one　can　tell。　　In　conversing　with　my　dog　I　did　not　use　English　words；　but　selected　simple　monosyllables。　　Habit　likewise　enabled　him　to　comprehend　my　gestures。　　If　I　crossed　my　hands　on　my　breast　he　understood　the　signal　and　laid　down　behind　me。　　If　I　joined　my　hands　and　lifted　them　to　my　breast；　he　returned　home。　　If　I　grasped　one　arm　above　the　elbow　he　ran　before　me。　　If　I　lifted　my　hand　to　my　forehead　he　trotted　composedly　behind。　　By　one　motion　I　could　make　him　bark；　by　another　I　could　reduce　him　to　silence。　　He　would　howl　in　twenty　different　strains　of　mournfulness；　at　my　bidding。　　He　would　fetch　and　carry　with　undeviating　faithfulness。

His　actions　being　thus　chiefly　regulated　by　gestures；　that　to　a　stranger　would　appear　indifferent　or　casual；　it　was　easy　to　produce　a　belief　that　the　animal's　knowledge　was　much　greater　than　in