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classic mystery and detective stories-第80部分
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mind and body; fell uneasily asleep。
I was roused by the entrance of my maid。 I stopped her
exclamations and questions by shortly stating that I had had a bad
night; had been unable to rest in bed; and had had an accident with
my hand;without further specifying of what description。
〃I didn't know that you had been feeling unwell when you went to
bed last night; miss;〃 she said。
〃When I went to bed last night? Unwell? What do you mean?〃
〃Only Mr。 Alan has just asked me to let him know how you find
yourself this morning;〃 she answered。
Then he expected something; dreaded something。 Ah! why had he
yielded and allowed me to sleep here; I asked myself bitterly; as
the incidents of the day before flashed through my mind。
〃Tell him;〃 I said; 〃what I have told you; and say that I wish to
speak to him directly after breakfast。〃 I could not confide my
story to any one else; but speak of it I must to some one or go
mad。
Every moment passed in that place was an added misery。 Much to my
maid's surprise I said that I would dress in her roomthe little
one which; as I have said; was close to my own。 I felt better
there; but my utter fatigue and my wounded hand combined to make my
toilet slow; and I found that most of the party had finished
breakfast when I reached the dining…room。 I was glad of this; for
even as it was I found it difficult enough to give coherent answers
to the questions which my white face and bandaged hand called
forth。 Alan helped me by giving a resolute turn to the
conversation。 Once only our eyes met across the table。 He looked
as haggard and worn as I did: I learned afterwards that he had
passed most of that fearful night pacing the passage outside my
door; though he listened in vain for any indication of what was
going on within the room。
The moment I had finished breakfast he was by my side。 〃You wish
to speak to me? now?〃 he asked in a low tone。
〃Yes; now;〃 I answered; breathlessly; and without raising my eyes
from the ground。
〃Where shall we go? Outside? It is a bright day; and we shall be
freer there from interruption。〃
I assented; and then looking up at him appealingly; 〃Will you fetch
my things for me? I CANNOT go up to that room again。〃
He seemed to understand me; nodded; and was gone。 A few minutes
later we left the house; and made our way in silence towards a
grassy spot on the side of the ravine where we had already indulged
in more than one friendly talk。
As we went; the Dead Stone came for a moment into view。 I seized
Alan's arm in an almost convulsive grip。 〃Tell me;〃 I whispered;
〃you refused to tell me yesterday; but you must now;who is buried
beneath that rock?〃
There was now neither timidity nor embarrassment in my tone。 The
horrors of that house had become part of my life for ever; and
their secrets were mine by right。 Alan; after a moment's pause; a
questioning glance at my face; tacitly accepted the position。
〃I told you the truth;〃 he replied; 〃when I said that I did not
know; but I can tell you the popular tradition on the subject; if
you like。 They say that Margaret Mervyn; the woman who murdered
her husband; is buried there; and that Dame Alice had the rock
placed over her grave;whether to save it from insult or to mark
it out for opprobrium; I never heard。 The poor people about here
do not care to go near the place after dark; and among the older
ones there are still some; I believe; who spit at the suicide's
grave as they pass。〃
〃Poor woman; poor woman!〃 I exclaimed; in a burst of uncontrollable
compassion。
〃Why should you pity her?〃 demanded he with sudden sternness; 〃she
WAS a suicide and a murderess too。 It would be better for the
public conscience; I believe; if such were still hung in chains; or
buried at the cross…roads with a stake through their bodies。〃
〃Hush; Alan; hush!〃 I cried hysterically; as I clung to him; 〃don't
speak harshly of her: you do not know; you cannot tell; how
terribly she was tempted。 How can you?〃
He looked down at me in bewildered surprise。 〃How can I?〃 he
repeated。 〃You speak as if YOU could。 What do you mean?〃
〃Don't ask me;〃 I answered; turning towards him my face;white;
quivering; tear…stained。 〃Don't ask me。 Not now。 You must answer
my questions first; and after that I will tell you。 But I cannot
talk of it now。 Not yet。〃
We had reached the place we were in search of as I spoke。 There;
where the spreading roots of a great beech…tree formed a natural
resting place upon the steep side of the ravine; I took my seat;
and Alan stretched himself upon the grass beside me。 Then looking
up at me〃I do not know what questions you would ask;〃 he said;
quietly; 〃but I will answer them; whatever they may be。〃
But I did not ask them yet。 I sat instead with my hands clasping
my knee; looking opposite at the glory of harmonious color; or down
the glen at the vista of far…off; dream…like loveliness; on which
it opened out。 The yellow autumn sunshine made everything golden;
the fresh autumn breezes filled the air with life; but to me a
loathsome shadow seemed to rest upon all; and to stretch itself out
far beyond where my eyes could reach; befouling the beauty of the
whole wide world。 At last I spoke。 〃You have known of it all; I
suppose; of this curse that is in the world;sin and suffering;
and what such words mean。〃
〃Yes;〃 he said; looking at me with wondering pity; 〃I am afraid
so。〃
〃But have you known them as they are known to some;agonized;
hopeless suffering; and sin that is all but inevitable? Some time
in your life probably you have realized that such things are: it
has come home to you; and to every one else; no doubt; except a few
ignorant girls such as I was yesterday。 But there are some;yes;
thousands and thousands;who even now; at this moment; are feeling
sorrow like that; are sinking deep; deeper into the bottomless pit
of their soul's degradation。 And yet men who know this; who have
seen it; laugh; talk; are happy; amuse themselveshow can they;
how can they?〃 I stopped with a catch in my voice; and then
stretching out my arms in front of me〃And it is not only men。
Look how beautiful the earth is; and God has made it; and lets the
sun crown it every day with a new glory; while this horror of evil
broods over and poisons it all。 Oh; why is it so? I cannot
understand it。〃
My arms drooped again as I finished; and my eyes sought Alan's。
His were full of tears; but there was almost a smile quivering at
the corners of his lips as he replied: 〃When you have found an
answer to that question; Evie; come and tell me and mankind at
large: it will be news to us all。〃 Then he continued〃But; after
all; the earth is beautiful; and the sun does shine: we have our
own happiness to rejoice in; our own sorrows to bear; the suffering
that is near to us to grapple with。 For the rest; for this
blackness of evil which surrounds us; and which we can do nothing
to lighten; it will soon; thank God; become vague and far off to
you as it is to others: your feeling of it will be dulled; and;
except at moments; you too will forget。〃
〃But that is horrible;〃 I exclaimed; passionately; 〃the evil will
be there all the same; whether I feel it or not。 Men and women
will be struggling in their misery and sin; only I shall be too
selfish to care。〃
〃We cannot go outside the limits of our own nature;〃 he replied;
〃our knowledge is shallow and our spiritual insight dark; and God
in His mercy has made our hearts shallow too; and our imagination
dull。 If; knowing and trusting only as men do; we were to feel as
angels feel; earth would be hell indeed。〃
It was cold comfort; but at that moment anything warmer or brighter
would have been unreal and utterly repellent to me。 I hardly took
in the meaning of his words; but it was as if a hand had been
stretched out to me; struggling in the deep mire; by one who
himself felt solid ground beneath him。 Where he stood I also might
some day stand; and that thought seemed to make patience possible。
It was he who first broke the silence which followed。 〃You were
saying that you had questions to ask me。 I am impatient to put
mine in return; so please go on。〃
It had been a relief to me to turn even to generalizations of
despair from the actual horror which had inspired them; and to
which my mind was thus recalled。 With an effort I replied; 〃Yes; I
want to ask you about that roomthe room in which I slept; and
and the murder which was committed there。〃 In spite of all that I
could do; my voice sank almost to a whisper as I concluded; and I
was trembling from head to foot。
〃Who told you that a murder was committed there?〃 Something in my
face as he asked the question made him add quickly; 〃Never mind。
You are right。 That is the room in which Hugh Mervyn was murdered
by his
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