the research magnificent-第31部分

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8

That　night　the　silences　of　Finacue　Street　heard　Benham's　voice　again。　　〃I　must　do　my　job；〃　he　was　repeating；　〃I　must　do　my　job。　Anyhow。　。　。　。〃　And　then　after　a　long　pause；　like　a　watchword　and　just　a　little　unsurely：　〃Aristocracy。　。　。　。〃　The　next　day　his　resolution　had　to　bear　the　brunt　of　a　second　ordeal。　　Mrs。　Skelmersdale　behaved　beautifully　and　this　made　everything　tormentingly　touching　and　difficult。　　She　convinced　him　she　was　really　in　love　with　him；　and　indeed　if　he　could　have　seen　his　freshness　and　simplicity　through　her　experienced　eyes　he　would　have　known　there　was　sound　reason　why　she　should　have　found　him　exceptional。　　And　when　his　clumsy　hints　of　compensation　could　no　longer　be　ignored　she　treated　him　with　a　soft　indignation；　a　tender　resentment；　that　left　him　soft　and　tender。　　She　looked　at　him　with　pained　eyes　and　a　quiver　of　the　lips。　　What　did　he　think　she　was？　And　then　a　little　less　credibly；　did　he　think　she　would　have　given　herself　to　him　if　she　hadn't　been　in　love　with　him？　　Perhaps　that　was　not　altogether　true；　but　at　any　rate　it　was　altogether　true　to　her　when　she　said　it；　and　it　was　manifest　that　she　did　not　for　a　moment　intend　him　to　have　the　cheap　consolation　of　giving　her　money。　But；　and　that　seemed　odd　to　Benham；　she　would　not　believe；　just　as　Lady　Marayne　would　not　believe；　that　there　was　not　some　other　woman　in　the　case。　　He　assured　her　and　she　seemed　reassured；　and　then　presently　she　was　back　at　exactly　the　same　question。　　Would　no　woman　ever　understand　the　call　of　Asia；　the　pride　of　duty；　the　desire　for　the　world？　One　sort　of　woman　perhaps。　。　。　。　It　was　odd　that　for　the　first　time　now；　in　the　sunshine　of　Kensington　Gardens；　he　saw　the　little　gossamer　lines　that　tell　that　thirty　years　and　more　have　passed　over　a　face；　a　little　wrinkling　of　the　eyelids；　a　little　hardening　of　the　mouth。　　How　slight　it　is；　how　invisible　it　has　been；　how　suddenly　it　appears！　　And　the　sunshine　of　the　warm　April　afternoon；　heightened　it　may　be　by　her　determined　unmercenary　pose；　betrayed　too　the　faintest　hint　of　shabbiness　in　her　dress。　　He　had　never　noticed　these　shadows　upon　her　or　her　setting　before　and　their　effect　was　to　fill　him　with　a　strange　regretful　tenderness。　。　。　。　Perhaps　men　only　begin　to　love　when　they　cease　to　be　dazzled　and　admire。　　He　had　thought　she　might　reproach　him；　he　had　felt　and　feared　she　might　set　herself　to　stir　his　senses；　and　both　these　expectations　had　been　unjust　to　her　he　saw；　now　that　he　saw　her　beside　him；　a　brave；　rather　ill…advised　and　unlucky　little　struggler；　stung　and　shamed。　　He　forgot　the　particulars　of　that　first　lunch　of　theirs　together　and　he　remembered　his　mother's　second　contemptuous　〃STUFF！〃　Indeed　he　knew　now　it　had　not　been　unexpected。　　Why　hadn't　he　left　this　little　sensitive　soul　and　this　little　sensitive　body　alone？　And　since　he　hadn't　done　so；　what　right　had　he　now　to　back　out　of　their　common　adventure？　　He　felt　a　sudden　wild　impulse　to　marry　Mrs。　Skelmersdale；　in　a　mood　between　remorse　and　love　and　self…　immolation；　and　then　a　sunlit　young　woman　with　a　leaping　stride　in　her　paces；　passed　across　his　heavens；　pointing　to　Asia　and　Utopia　and　forbidding　even　another　thought　of　the　banns。　。　。　。　〃You　will　kiss　me　good…bye；　dear；　won't　you？〃　said　Mrs。　Skelmersdale；　brimming　over。　　〃You　will　do　that。〃　He　couldn't　keep　his　arm　from　her　little　shoulders。　　And　as　their　lips　touched　he　suddenly　found　himself　weeping　also。　。　。　。　His　spirit　went　limping　from　that　interview。　　She　chose　to　stay　behind　in　her　chair　and　think；　she　said；　and　each　time　he　turned　back　she　was　sitting　in　the　same　attitude　looking　at　him　as　he　receded；　and　she　had　one　hand　on　the　chair　back　and　her　arm　drawn　up　to　it。　　The　third　time　he　waved　his　hat　clumsily；　and　she　started　and　then　answered　with　her　hand。　　Then　the　trees　hid　her。　。　。　。　This　sex　business　was　a　damnable　business。　　If　only　because　it　made　one　hurt　women。　。　。　。　He　had　trampled　on　Mrs。　Skelmersdale；　he　had　hurt　and　disappointed　his　mother。　　Was　he　a　brute？　　Was　he　a　cold…blooded　prig？　　What　was　this　aristocracy？　　Was　his　belief　anything　more　than　a　theory？　　Was　he　only　dreaming　of　a　debt　to　the　men　in　the　quarry；　to　the　miners；　to　the　men　in　the　stokeholes；　to　the　drudges　on　the　fields？　　And　while　he　dreamt　he　wounded　and　distressed　real　living　creatures　in　the　sleep…walk　of　his　dreaming。　。　。　。　So　long　as　he　stuck　to　his　dream　he　must　at　any　rate　set　his　face　absolutely　against　the　establishment　of　any　further　relations　with　women。　Unless　they　were　women　of　an　entirely　different　type；　women　hardened　and　tempered；　who　would　understand。

9

So　Benham　was　able　to　convert　the　unfortunate　Mrs。　Skelmersdale　into　a　tender　but　for　a　long　time　an　entirely　painful　memory。　　But　mothers　are　not　so　easily　disposed　of；　and　more　particularly　a　mother　whose　conduct　is　coloured　deeply　by　an　extraordinary　persuasion　of　having　paid　for　her　offspring　twice　over。　　Nolan　was　inexplicable；　he　was；　Benham　understood　quite　clearly；　never　to　be　mentioned　again；　but　somehow　from　the　past　his　shadow　and　his　legacy　cast　a　peculiar　and　perplexing　shadow　of　undefined　obligation　upon　Benham's　outlook。　　His　resolution　to　go　round　the　world　carried　on　his　preparations　rapidly　and　steadily；　but　at　the　same　time　his　mother's　thwarted　and　angry　bearing　produced　a　torture　of　remorse　in　him。　　It　was　constantly　in　his　mind；　like　the　suit　of　the　importunate　widow；　that　he　ought　to　devote　his　life　to　the　little　lady's　happiness　and　pride；　and　his　reason　told　him　that　even　if　he　wanted　to　make　this　sacrifice　he　couldn't；　the　mere　act　of　making　it　would　produce　so　entirely　catastrophic　a　revulsion。　　He　could　as　soon　have　become　a　croquet　champion　or　the　curate　of　Chexington　church；　lines　of　endeavour　which　for　him　would　have　led　straightly　and　simply　to　sacrilegious　scandal　or　manslaughter　with　a　mallet。　There　is　so　little　measure　in　the　wild　atonements　of　the　young　that　it　was　perhaps　as　well　for　the　Research　Magnificent　that　the　remorses　of　this　period　of　Benham's　life　were　too　complicated　and　scattered　for　a　cumulative　effect。　　In　the　background　of　his　mind　and　less　subdued　than　its　importance　could　seem　to　warrant　was　his　promise　to　bring　the　Wilder…Morris　people　into　relations　with　Lady　Marayne。　　They　had　been　so　delightful　to　him　that　he　felt　quite　acutely　the　slight　he　was　putting　upon　them　by　this　delay。　　Lady　Marayne's　moods；　however；　had　been　so　uncertain　that　he　had　found　no　occasion　to　broach　this　trifling　matter；　and　when　at　last　the　occasion　came　he　perceived　in　the　same　instant　the　fullest　reasons　for　regretting　it。　〃Ah！〃　she　said；　hanging　only　for　a　moment；　and　then：　〃you　told　me　you　were　alone！〃　。　。　。　Her　mind　leapt　at　once　to　the　personification　of　these　people　as　all　that　had　puzzled　and　baffled　her　in　her　son　since　his　flight　from　London。　　They　were　the　enemy；　they　had　got　hold　of　him。　〃When　I　asked　you　if　you　were　alone　you　pretended　to　be　angry；〃　she　remembered　with　a　flash。　　〃You　said；　‘Do　I　tell　lies？'〃　〃I　WAS　alone。　　Until　　It　was　an　accident。　　On　my　walk　I　was　alone。〃　But　he　flinched　before　her　accusing；　her　almost　triumphant；　forefinger。　From　the　instant　she　heard　of　them　she　hated　these　South　Harting　people　unrestrainedly。　　She　made　no　attempt　to　conceal　it。　　Her　valiant　bantam　spirit　caught　at　this　quarrel　as　a　refuge　from　the　rare　and　uncongenial　ache　of　his　secession。　　〃And　who　are　they？　What　are　they？　　What　sort　of　people　can　they　be　to　drag　in　a　passing　young　man？　　I　suppose　this　girl　of　theirs　goes　out　every　evening　Was　she　painted；　Poff？〃　She　whipped　him　with　her　questions　as　though　she　was　slashing　his　face。　　He　became　dead…white　and　grimly　civil；　answering　every　question　as　though　it　was　the　sanest；　most　justifiable　inquiry。　〃Of　course　I　don't　know　who　they　are。　　How　should　I　know？　　What　need　is　there　to　know？〃　〃There　are　ways　of　finding　out；〃　she　insisted。　　〃If　I　am　to　go　down　and　make　myself　pleasant　to　these　people　because　of　you。〃　〃But　I　implore　you　not　to。〃　〃And　five　minutes　ago　you　were　imploring　me　to！　　Of　course　I　shall。〃　〃Oh　well！well！〃　〃One　has　to　know　SOMETHING　of　the　people　to　whom　one　commits　oneself；　surely。〃　〃They　are　decent　people；　they　are　well…behaved　people。〃　〃Oh！I'll　behave　well。　　Don't　think　I'll　disgrace　your　casual　acquaintances。　　But　who　they　are；　what　they　are；　I　WILL　know。　。　。　。〃　On　that　point　Lady　Marayne　was　to　score　beyond　her　utmost　expectations。　〃Come　round；〃　she　said　over　the　telephone；　two　mornings　later。　〃I've　something　to　tell　you。〃　She　was　so　triumphant　that　she　was　sorry　for　him。　　When　it　came　to　telling　him；　she　failed　from　her　fierceness。　〃Poff；　my　little　son；〃　she　said；　〃I'm　so　sorry　I　hardly　know　how　to　tell　you。　　Poff；　I'm　sorry。　　I　have　to　tell　youand　it's　utterly　beastly。〃　〃But　what？〃　he　asked。　〃These　people　are　dreadful　people。〃　〃But　how？〃　〃You've　heard　of　the　great　Kent　and　Eastern　Bank　smash　and　the　Marlborough　Building　Society　frauds　eight　or　nine　years　ago？〃　〃Vaguely。　　But　what　has　that　to　do　with　them？〃　〃That　man　Morris。〃　She　stopped　short；　and　Benham　nodded　for　her　to　go　on。　〃Her　father；〃　said　Lady　Marayne。　〃But　who　was　Morris？　　Really；　mother；　I　don't　remember。〃　〃He　was　sentenced　to　seven　yearsten　yearsI　forget。　　He　had　done　all　sorts　of　dreadful　things。　　He　was　a　swindler。　　And　when　he　went　out