green mansions-第52部分

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d　me；　and　I　him。　　Now　I　would　be　my　own　mule；　patient；　and　long…suffering；　and　far…going；　with　naked　feet　hardened　to　hoofs；　and　a　pack　of　provender　on　my　back　to　make　me　independent　of　the　dry；　bitter　grass　on　the　sunburnt　savannahs。

Part　of　that　night　and　the　next　morning　was　spent　in　curing　the　flesh　over　a　smoky　fire　of　green　wood　and　in　manufacturing　a　rough　sack　to　store　it　in；　for　I　had　resolved　to　set　out　on　my　journey。　　How　safely　to　convey　Rima's　treasured　ashes　was　a　subject　of　much　thought　and　anxiety。　　The　clay　vessel　on　which　I　had　expended　so　much　loving；　sorrowful　labour　had　to　be　left；　being　too　large　and　heavy　to　carry；　eventually　I　put　the　fragments　into　a　light　sack；　and　in　order　to　avert　suspicion　from　the　people　I　would　meet　on　the　way；　above　the　ashes　I　packed　a　layer　of　roots　and　bulbs。　　These　I　would　say　contained　medicinal　properties；　known　to　the　white　doctors；　to　whom　I　would　sell　them　on　my　arrival　at　a　Christian　settlement；　and　with　the　money　buy　myself　clothes　to　start　life　afresh。

On　the　morrow　I　would　bid　a　last　farewell　to　that　forest　of　many　memories。　　And　my　journey　would　be　eastwards；　over　a　wild　savage　land　of　mountains；　rivers；　and　forests；　where　every　dozen　miles　would　be　like　a　hundred　of　Europe；　but　a　land　inhabited　by　tribes　not　unfriendly　to　the　stranger。　　And　perhaps　it　would　be　my　good　fortune　to　meet　with　Indians　travelling　east　who　would　know　the　easiest　routes；　and　from　time　to　time　some　compassionate　voyager　would　let　me　share　his　wood…skin；　and　many　leagues　would　be　got　over　without　weariness；　until　some　great　river；　flowing　through　British　or　Dutch　Guiana；　would　be　reached；　and　so　on；　and　on；　by　slow　or　swift　stages；　with　little　to　eat　perhaps；　with　much　labour　and　pain；　in　hot　sun　and　in　storm；　to　the　Atlantic　at　last；　and　towns　inhabited　by　Christian　men。

In　the　evening　of　that　day；　after　completing　my　preparations；　I　supped　on　the　remaining　portions　of　the　sloth；　not　suitable　for　preservation；　roasting　bits　of　fat　on　the　coals　and　boiling　the　head　and　bones　into　a　broth；　and　after　swallowing　the　liquid　I　crunched　the　bones　and　sucked　the　marrow；　feeding　like　some　hungry　carnivorous　animal。

Glancing　at　the　fragments　scattered　on　the　floor；　I　remembered　old　Nuflo；　and　how　I　had　surprised　him　at　his　feast　of　rank　coatimundi　in　his　secret　retreat。　　〃Nuflo；　old　neighbour；〃　said　I；　〃how　quiet　you　are　under　your　green　coverlet；　spangled　just　now　with　yellow　flowers！　　It　is　no　sham　sleep；　old　man；　I　know。　　If　any　suspicion　of　these　curious　doings；　this　feast　of　flesh　on　a　spot　once　sacred；　could　flit　like　a　small　moth　into　your　mouldy　hollow　skull　you　would　soon　thrust　out　your　old　nose　to　sniff　the　savour　of　roasting　fat　once　more。〃

There　was　in　me　at　that　moment　an　inclination　to　laughter；　it　came　to　nothing；　but　affected　me　strangely；　like　an　impulse　I　had　not　experienced　since　boyhoodfamiliar；　yet　novel。　　After　the　good…night　to　my　neighbour；　I　tumbled　into　my　straw　and　slept　soundly；　animal…like。　　No　fancies　and　phantoms　that　night：　the　lidless；　white；　implacable　eyes　of　the　serpent's　severed　head　were　turned　to　dust　at　last；　no　sudden　dream…glare　lighted　up　old　Cla…cla's　wrinkled　dead　face　and　white；　blood…dabbled　locks；　old　Nuflo　stayed　beneath　his　green　coverlet；　nor　did　my　mournful　spirit…bride　come　to　me　to　make　my　heart　faint　at　the　thought　of　immortality。

But　when　morning　dawned　again；　it　was　bitter　to　rise　up　and　go　away　for　ever　from　that　spot　where　I　had　often　talked　with　Rimathe　true　and　the　visionary。　　The　sky　was　cloudless　and　the　forest　wet　as　if　rain　had　fallen；　it　was　only　a　heavy　dew；　and　it　made　the　foliage　look　pale　and　hoary　in　the　early　light。　　And　the　light　grew；　and　a　whispering　wind　sprung　as　I　walked　through　the　wood；　and　the　fast…evaporating　moisture　was　like　a　bloom　on　the　feathery　fronds　and　grass　and　rank　herbage；　but　on　the　higher　foliage　it　was　like　a　faint　iridescent　mista　glory　above　the　trees。　　The　everlasting　beauty　and　freshness　of　nature　was　over　all　again；　as　I　had　so　often　seen　it　with　joy　and　adoration　before　grief　and　dreadful　passions　had　dimmed　my　vision。　　And　now　as　I　walked；　murmuring　my　last　farewell；　my　eyes　grew　dim　again　with　the　tears　that　gathered　to　them。



CHAPTER　XXII

Before　that　well…nigh　hopeless　journey　to　the　coast　was　half　over　I　became　illso　ill　that　anyone　who　had　looked　on　me　might　well　have　imagined　that　I　had　come　to　the　end　of　my　pilgrimage。　　That　was　what　I　feared。　　For　days　I　remained　sunk　in　the　deepest　despondence；　then；　in　a　happy　moment；　I　remembered　how；　after　being　bitten　by　the　serpent；　when　death　had　seemed　near　and　inevitable；　I　had　madly　rushed　away　through　the　forest　in　search　of　help；　and　wandered　lost　for　hours　in　the　storm　and　darkness；　and　in　the　end　escaped　death；　probably　by　means　of　these　frantic　exertions。　　The　recollection　served　to　inspire　me　with　a　new　desperate　courage。　　Bidding　good…bye　to　the　Indian　village　where　the　fever　had　smitten　me；　I　set　out　once　more　on　that　apparently　hopeless　adventure。　　Hopeless；　indeed；　it　seemed　to　one　in　my　weak　condition。　　My　legs　trembled　under　me　when　I　walked；　while　hot　sun　and　pelting　rain　were　like　flame　and　stinging　ice　to　my　morbidly　sensitive　skin。　　

For　many　days　my　sufferings　were　excessive；　so　that　I　often　wished　myself　back　in　that　milder　purgatory　of　the　forest；　from　which　I　had　been　so　anxious　to　escape。　　When　I　try　to　retrace　my　route　on　the　map；　there　occurs　a　break　herea　space　on　the　chart　where　names　of　rivers　and　mountains　call　up　no　image　to　my　mind；　although；　in　a　few　cases；　they　were　names　I　seem　to　have　heard　in　a　troubled　dream。　　The　impressions　of　nature　received　during　that　sick　period　are　blurred；　or　else　so　coloured　and　exaggerated　by　perpetual　torturing　anxiety；　mixed　with　half…delirious　night…fancies；　that　I　can　only　think　of　that　country　as　an　earthly　inferno；　where　I　fought　against　every　imaginable　obstacle；　alternately　sweating　and　freezing；　toiling　as　no　man　ever　toiled　before。　　Hot　and　cold；　cold　and　hot；　and　no　medium。　Crystal　waters；　green　shadows　under　coverture　of　broad；　moist　leaves；　and　night　with　dewy　fanning　windsthese　chilled　but　did　not　refresh　me；　a　region　in　which　there　was　no　sweet　and　pleasant　thing；　where　even　the　ita　palm　and　mountain　glory　and　airy　epiphyte　starring　the　woodland　twilight　with　pendent　blossoms　had　lost　all　grace　and　beauty；　where　all　brilliant　colours　in　earth　and　heaven　were　like　the　unmitigated　sun　that　blinded　my　sight　and　burnt　my　brain。　　Doubtless　I　met　with　help　from　the　natives；　otherwise　I　do　not　see　how　I　could　have　continued　my　journey；　yet　in　my　dim　mental　picture　of　that　period　I　see　myself　incessantly　dogged　by　hostile　savages。　　They　flit　like　ghosts　through　the　dark　forest；　they　surround　me　and　cut　off　all　retreat；　until　I　burst　through　them；　escaping　out　of　their　very　hands；　to　fly　over　some　wide；　naked　savannah；　hearing　their　shrill；　pursuing　yells　behind　me；　and　feeling　the　sting　of　their　poisoned　arrows　in　my　flesh。

This　I　set　down　to　the　workings　of　remorse　in　a　disordered　mind　and　to　clouds　of　venomous　insects　perpetually　shrilling　in　my　ears　and　stabbing　me　with　their　small；　fiery　needles。

Not　only　was　I　pursued　by　phantom　savages　and　pierced　by　phantom　arrows；　but　the　creations　of　the　Indian　imagination　had　now　become　as　real　to　me　as　anything　in　nature。　　I　was　persecuted　by　that　superhuman　man…eating　monster　supposed　to　be　the　guardian　of　the　forest。　　In　dark；　silent　places　he　is　lying　in　wait　for　me：　hearing　my　slow；　uncertain　footsteps　he　starts　up　suddenly　in　my　path；　outyelling　the　bearded　aguaratos　in　the　trees；　and　I　stand　paralysed；　my　blood　curdled　in　my　veins。　　His　huge；　hairy　arms　are　round　me；　his　foul；　hot　breath　is　on　my　skin；　he　will　tear　my　liver　out　with　his　great　green　teeth　to　satisfy　his　raging　hunger。　　Ah；　no；　he　cannot　harm　me！　　For　every　ravening　beast；　every　cold…blooded；　venomous　thing；　and　even　the　frightful　Curupita；　half　brute　and　half　devil；　that　shared　the　forest　with　her；　loved　and　worshipped　Rima；　and　that　mournful　burden　I　carried；　her　ashes；　was　a　talisman　to　save　me。　He　has　left　me；　the　semi…human　monster；　uttering　such　wild；　lamentable　cries　as　he　hurries　away　into　the　deeper；　darker　woods　that　horror　changes　to　grief；　and　I；　too；　lament　Rima　for　the　first　time：　a　memory　of　all　the　mystic；　unimaginable　grace　and　loveliness　and　joy　that　had　vanished　smites　on　my　heart　with　such　sudden；　intense　pain　that　I　cast　myself　prone　on　the　earth　and　weep　tears　that　are　like　drops　of　blood。

Where　in　the　rude　savage　heart　of　Guiana　was　this　region　where　the　natural　obstacles　and　pain　and　hunger　and　thirst　and　everlasting　weariness　were　terrible　enough　without　the　imaginary　monsters　and　legions　of　phantoms　that　peopled　it；　I　cannot　say。　Nor　can　I　conjecture　how　far　I　strayed　north　or　south　from　my　course。　　I　only　know　that　marshes　that　were　like　Sloughs　of　Despond；　and　barren　and　wet　savannahs；　were　crossed；　and　forests　that　seemed　infinite　in　extent　and　never　to　be　got　through；　and　scores　of　rivers　that　boiled　round　the　sharp　rocks；　threatening　to　submerge　or　dash　in　pieces　the　frail　bark　canoeblack　and　frightful　to　look　on　as　rivers　in　hell；　and　nameless　mountain　after　mountain　to　be　toiled　round　or　toiled　over。　　I　m