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the daisy chain, or aspirations-第100部分
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said it was better to detest than to hate; while Blanche coloured up
to the ears; and hid herself behind the arm…chair; and Dr。 May
qualified the censure by saying; he believed there was no great harm
in the youth; but that he was shallow…brained and extravagant; and;
having been born in the days when Mr。 Rivers had been working himself
up in the world; had not had so good an education as his little half…
sister。
〃Well; what are you thinking of?〃 said her father; laying his hand on
Ethel's arm; as she was wearily and pensively putting together the
scattered purchases before going up to bed。
〃I was thinking; papa; that there is a great deal of trouble taken in
this world for a very little pleasure。〃
〃The trouble is the pleasure; in most cases; most misanthropical
miss!〃
〃Yes; that is true; but; if so; why cannot it be taken for some
good?〃
〃They meant it to be good;〃 said Dr。 May。 〃Come; I cannot have you
severe and ungrateful。〃
〃So I have been telling myself; papa; all along; but; now that the
day has come; and I have seen what jealousies; and competitions; and
vanities; and disappointments it has producednot even poor little
Blanche allowed any comfortI am almost sick at heart with thinking
Cocksmoor was the excuse!〃
〃Spectators are more philosophical than actors; Ethel。 Others have
not been tying parcels all day。〃
〃I had rather do that than But that is the 'Fox and the Grapes;'〃
said Ethel; smiling。 〃What I mean is; that the real gladness of life
is not in these great occasions of pleasure; but in the little side
delights that come in the midst of one's work; don't they; papa? Why
is it worth while to go and search for a day's pleasuring?〃
〃Ethel; my child! I don't like to hear you talk so;〃 said Dr。 May;
looking anxiously at her。 〃It may be too true; but it is not
youthful nor hopeful。 It is not as your mother or I felt in our
young days; when a treat was a treat to us; and gladdened our hearts
long before and after。 I am afraid you have been too much saddened
with loss and care〃
〃Oh; no; papa!〃 said Ethel; rousing herself; though speaking huskily。
〃You know I am your merry Ethel。 You know I can be happy enough
only at home〃
And Ethel; though she had tried to be cheerful; leaned against his
arm; and shed a few tears。
〃The fact is; she is tired out;〃 said Dr。 May soothingly; yet half
laughing。 〃She is not a beauty or a grace; and she is thoughtful and
quiet; and so she moralises; instead of enjoying; as the world goes
by。 I dare say a night's rest will make all the difference in the
world。〃
〃Ah! but there is more to come。 That Ladies' Committee at
Cocksmoor!〃
〃They are not there yet; Ethel。 Good…night; you tired little cynic。〃
CHAPTER IV。
Back then; complainer。。。
Go; to the world return; nor fear to cast
Thy bread upon the waters; sure at last
In joy to find it after many days。Christian Year。
The next day Ethel had hoped for a return to reason; but behold; the
world was cross! The reaction of the long excitement was felt;
Gertrude fretted; and was unwell; Aubrey was pettish at his lessons;
and Mary and Blanche were weary; yawning and inattentive; every straw
was a burden; and Miss Bracy had feelings。
Ethel had been holding an interminable conversation with her in the
schoolroom; interrupted at last by a summons to speak to a Cocksmoor
woman at the back door; and she was returning from the kitchen; when
the doctor called her into his study。
〃Ethel! what is all this? Mary has found Miss Bracy in floods of
tears in the schoolroom; because she says you told her she was ill…
tempered。〃
〃I am sure you will be quite as much surprised;〃 said Ethel; somewhat
exasperated; 〃when you hear that you lacerated her feelings
yesterday。〃
〃I? Why; what did I do?〃 exclaimed Dr。 May。
〃You showed your evident want of confidence in her。〃
〃I? What can I have done?〃
〃You met Aubrey and Gertrude in her charge; and you took them away at
once to walk with you。〃
〃Well?〃
〃Well; that was it。 She saw you had no confidence in her。〃
〃Ethel; what on earth can you mean? I saw the two children dragging
on her; and I thought she would see nothing that was going on; and
would be glad to be released; and I wanted them to go with me and see
Meta's gold pheasants。〃
〃That was the offence。 She has been breaking her heart all this
time; because she was sure; from your manner; that you were
displeased to see them alone with hereating bon…bons; I believe;
and therefore took them away。〃
〃Daisy is the worse for her bon…bons; I believe; but the overdose of
them rests on my shoulders。 I do not know how to believe you; Ethel。
Of course you told her nothing of the kind crossed my mind; poor
thing!〃
〃I told her so; over and over again; as I have done forty times
before but her feelings are always being hurt。〃
〃Poor thing; poor thing! no doubt it is a trying situation; and she
is sensitive。 Surely you are all forbearing with
her?〃
〃I hope we are;〃 said Ethel; 〃but how can we tell what vexes her?〃
〃And what is this; of your telling her she was ill…tempered?〃 asked
Dr。 May incredulously。
〃Well; papa;〃 said Ethel; softened; yet wounded by his thinking it so
impossible。 〃I had often thought I ought to tell her that these
sensitive feelings of hers were nothing but temper; and perhaps
indeed I know I doI partake of the general fractiousness of the
house to…day; and I did not bear it so patiently as usual。 I did say
that I thought it wrong to foster her fancies; for if she looked at
them coolly; she would find they were only a form of pride and
temper。〃
〃It did not come well from you; Ethel;〃 said the doctor; looking
vexed。
〃No; I know it did not;〃 said Ethel meekly; 〃but oh! to have these
janglings once a week; and to see no end to them!〃
〃Once a week?〃
〃It is really as often; or more often;〃 said Ethel。 〃If any of us
criticise anything the girls have done; if there is a change in any
arrangement; if she thinks herself neglectedI can't tell you what
little matters suffice; she will catch me; and argue with me; till
oh; till we are both half dead; and yet cannot stop ourselves。〃
〃Why do you argue?〃
〃If I could only help it!〃
〃Bad management;〃 said the doctor; in a low; musing tone。 〃You want
a head!〃 and he sighed。
〃Oh; papa; I did not mean to distress you。 I would not have told you
if I had rememberedbut I am worried to…day; and off my guard〃
〃Ethel; I thought you were the one on whom I could depend for bearing
everything。〃
〃These were such nonsense!〃
〃What may seem nonsense to you is not the same to her。 You must be
forbearing; Ethel。 Remember that dependence is prone to morbid
sensitiveness; especially in those who have a humble estimate of
themselves。〃
〃It seems to me that touchiness is more pride than humility;〃 said
Ethel; whose temper; already not in the smoothest state; found it
hard that; after having long borne patiently with these constant
arguments; she should find Miss Bracy made the chief object of
compassion。
Dr。 May's chivalrous feeling caused him to take the part of the weak;
and he answered; 〃You know nothing about it。 Among our own kith and
kin we can afford to pass over slights; because we are sure the heart
is rightwe do not know what it is to be among strangers; uncertain
of any claim to their esteem or kindness。 Sad! sad!〃 he continued;
as the picture wrought on him。 〃Each trifle seems a token one way or
the other! I am very sorry I grieved the poor thing yesterday。 I
must go and tell her so at once。〃
He put Ethel aside; and knocked at the schoolroom door; while Ethel
stood; mortified。 〃He thinks I have been neglecting; or speaking
harshly to her! For fifty times that I have borne with her
maundering; I have; at last; once told her the truth; and for that I
am accused of want of forbearance! Now he will go and make much of
her; and pity her; till she will think herself an injured heroine;
and be worse than ever; and he will do away with all the good of my
advice; and want me to ask her pardon for itbut that I never will。
It was only the truth; and I will stick to it。〃
〃Ethel!〃 cried Mary; running up to her; then slackening her pace; and
whispering; 〃you did not tell Miss Bracy she was ill…tempered。〃
〃Nonot exactly。 How could you tell papa I did?〃
〃She said so。 She was crying; and I asked what was the matter; and
she said my sister Ethel said she was ill…tempered。〃
〃She made a great exaggeration then;〃 said Ethel。
〃I am sure she was very cross all day;〃 said Mary。
〃Well; that is no business of yours;〃 said Ethel pettishly。 〃What
now? Mary; don't look out at the street window。〃
〃It is Florathe Grange carriage;〃 whispered Mary; as the two
sisters made a precipitate retreat into the drawing…room。
Meanwhile; Dr。 May had been in the schoolroom。 Miss Bracy had ceased
her tears before he camethey had been her retort on Ethel; and she
had not intended the world to know of them。 Half disconcerted; half
angry; she heard the doctor approach。 She was a gentle; tearful
woman; one of those who are often called meek; under an erroneous
idea that meekness consis
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