the daisy chain, or aspirations-第88部分

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〃Why；　of　course；　it　always　comes　of　people　having　lovers。〃

〃Then　I　am　sure　I　won't！〃　exclaimed　Ethel。

Norman　went　into　a　fit　of　laughing。

〃You　may　laugh；　Norman；　but　I　will　never　let　papa　or　any　of　you　be
second　to　any　one！〃　she　cried　vehemently。

A　brotherly　home…truth　followed：　〃Nobody　asked　you；　sir；　she　said！〃
was　muttered　by　Norman；　still　laughing　heartily。

〃I　know；〃　said　Ethel；　not　in　the　least　offended；　〃I　am　very　ugly；　and
very　awkward；　but　I　don't　care。　　There　never　can　be　anybody　in　all
the　world　that　I　shall　like　half　as　well　as　papa；　and　I　am　glad　no
one　is　ever　likely　to　make　me　care　less　for　him　and　Cocksmoor。〃

〃Stay　till　you　are　tried；〃　said　Norman。

Ethel　squeezed　up　her　eyes；　curled　up　her　nose；　showed　her　teeth　in　a
horrible　grimace；　and　made　a　sort　of　snarl：　〃Yah！　That's　the　face　I
shall　make　at　them！〃　and　then；　with　another　good…night；　ran　to　her
own　room。

Norman　was；　to　a　certain　extent；　right　with　regard　to　Margarether
thoughts　and　interest　had　been　chiefly　engrossed　by　Alan　Ernescliffe；
and　so　far　drawn　away　from　her　own　family；　that　when　the　Alcestis　was
absolutely　gone　beyond　all　reach　of　letters　for　the　present；　Margaret
could　not　help　feeling　somewhat　of　a　void；　and　as　if　the　home
concerns　were　not　so　entire　an　occupation　for　her　mind　as　formerly。

She　would　fain　have　thrown　herself　into　them　again；　but　she　became
conscious　that　there　was　a　difference。　　She　was　still　the　object　of
her　father's　intense　tenderness　and　solicitude；　indeed　she　could　not
be　otherwise；　but　it　came　over　her　sometimes　that　she　was　less
necessary　to　him　than　in　the　first　year。　　He　was　not　conscious　of　any
change；　and；　indeed；　it　hardly　amounted　to　a　change；　and　yet
Margaret；　lying　inactive　and　thoughtful；　began　to　observe　that　the
fullness　of　his　confidence　was　passing　to　Ethel。　　Now　and　then　it
would　appear　that　he　fancied　he　had　told　Margaret　little　matters；
when　he　had　really　told　them　to　Ethel；　and　it　was　Ethel　who　would
linger　with　him　in　the　drawing…room　after　the　others　had　gone　up　at
night；　or　who　would　be　late　at　the　morning's　reading；　and　disarm　Miss
Winter；　by　pleading　that　papa　had　been　talking　to　her。　　The　secret
they　shared　together　was；　of　course；　the　origin　of　much　of　this；　but
also　Ethel　was　now　more　entirely　the　doctor's　own　than　Margaret　could
be　after　her　engagement；　and　there　was　a　likeness　of　mind　between　the
father　and　daughter　that　could　not　but　develop　more　in　this　year；
than　in　all　Ethel's　life；　when　she　had　made　the　most　rapid　progress。
Perhaps；　too；　the　doctor　looked　on　Margaret　rather　as　the　authority
and　mistress　of　his　house；　while　Ethel　was　more　of　a　playfellow；　and
thus；　without　either　having　the　least　suspicion　that　the　one　sister
was　taking　the　place　of　the　other；　and　without　any　actual　neglect　of
Margaret；　Ethel　was　his　chief　companion。

〃How　excited　and　anxious　Norman　looks！〃　said　Margaret；　one　day；　when
he　had　rushed　in　at　the　dinner…hour；　asking　for　his　father；　and；　when
he　could　not　find　him；　shouting　out　for　Ethel。　　〃I　hope　there　is
nothing　amiss。　　He　has　looked　thin　and　worn　for　some　time；　and　yet
his　work　at　school　is　very　easy　to　him。〃

〃I　wish　there　maybe　nothing　wrong　there　again；〃　said　Flora。　　〃There！
there's　the　front　door　banging！　　He　is　off！　　Ethel！〃　stepping　to
the　door；　and　calling　in　her　sister；　who　came　from　the　street　door；
her　hair　blowing　about　with　the　wind。　　〃What　did　Norman　want？〃

〃Only　to　know　whether　papa　had　left　a　note　for　Dr。　Hoxton；〃　said
Ethel；　looking　very　confused　and　very　merry。

〃That　was　not　all；〃　said　Flora。　　〃Now　don't　be　absurd；　EthelI　hate
mysteries。〃

〃Last　time　I　had　a　secret　you　would　not　believe　it；〃　said　Ethel；
laughing。

〃Come！〃　exclaimed　Flora；　〃why　cannot　you　tell　us　at　once　what　is
going　on？〃

〃Because　I　was　desired　not；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃You　will　hear　it　soon
enough；〃　and　she　capered　a　little。

〃Let　her　alone；　Flora；〃　said　Margaret。　　〃I　see　there　is　nothing
wrong。〃

〃If　she　is　desired　to　be　silent；　there　is　nothing　to　be　said；〃
replied　Flora；　sitting　down　again；　while　Ethel　ran　away　to　guard　her
secret。

〃Absurd！〃　muttered　Flora。　　〃I　cannot　imagine　why　Ethel　is　always
making　mysteries！〃

〃She　cannot　help　other　people　having　confidence　in　her；〃　said
Margaret　gently。

〃She　need　not　be　so　important；　then；〃　said　Flora〃always　having
private　conferences　with　papa！　　I　do　not　think　it　is　at　all　fair　on
the　rest。〃

〃Ethel　is　a　very　superior　person；〃　said　Margaret；　with　half　a　sigh。

Flora　might　toss　her　head；　but　she　attempted　no　denial　in　words。
〃And；〃　continued　Margaret；　〃if　papa　does　find　her　his　best　companion
and　friend　we　ought　to　be　glad　of　it。〃

〃I　do　not　call　it　just；〃　said　Flora。

〃I　do　not　think　it　can　be　helped；〃　said　Margaret：　〃the　best　must　be
preferred。

〃As　to　that；　Ethel　is　often　very　ridiculous　and　silly。〃

〃She　is　improving　every　day；　and　you　know　dear　mamma　always　thought
her　the　finest　character　amongst　us。〃

〃Then　you　are　ready　to　be　left　out；　and　have　your　third　sister　always
put　before　you？〃

〃No；　Flora；　that　is　not　the　case。　　Neither　she　nor　papa　would　ever　be
unfair；　but；　as　she　would　say　herself；　what　they　can't　help；　they
can't　help；　and；　as　she　grows　older；　she　must　surpass　me　more　and
more。〃

〃And　you　like　it？　〃

〃I　like　itwhenwhen　I　think　of　papa；　and　of　his　dear；　noble　Ethel。
I　do　like　it；　when　I　am　not　selfish。〃

Margaret　turned　away　her　head；　but　presently　looked　up　again。

〃Only；　Flora；〃　she　said；　〃pray　do　not　say　one　word　of　this；　on　any
account；　to　Ethel。　　She　is　so　happy　with　papa；　and　I　would　not　for
anything　have　her　think　I　feel　neglected；　or　had　any　jealousy。〃

〃Ah；〃　thought　Flora；　〃you　can　give　up　sweetly；　but　you　have　Alan　to
fall　back　upon。　　Now　I；　who　certainly　have　the　best　right；　and　a
great　deal　more　practical　sense〃

Flora　took　Margaret's　advice；　and　did　not　reproach　Ethel；　for　a
little　reflection　convinced　her　that　she　should　make　a　silly　figure
in　so　doing；　and　she　did　not　like　altercations。

It　was　the　same　evening　that　Norman　came　in　from　school　with　his
hands　full　of　papers；　and；　with　one　voice；　his　father　and　Ethel
exclaimed；　〃You　have　them？〃

〃Yes；〃　and　he　gave　the　letter　to　his　father；　while　Blanche；　who　had　a
very　inquisitive　pair　of　eyes；　began　to　read　from　a　paper　he　placed
on　the　table。

〃'Norman　Walter；　son　of　Richard　and　Margaret　May；　High　Street；　Doctor
of　Medicine；　December　21st；　18。　　Thomas　Ramsden。'〃

〃What　is　that　for；　Norman？〃　and；　as　he　did　not　attend；　she　called
Mary　to　share　her　speculations；　and　spell　out　the　words。

〃Ha！〃　cried　Dr。　May；　〃this　is　capital！　　The　old　doctor　seems　not　to
know　how　to　say　enough　for　you。　　Have　you　read　it？〃

〃No；　he　only　told　me　he　had　said　something　in　my　favour；　and　wished
me　all　success。〃

〃Success！〃　cried　Mary。　　〃Oh；　Norman；　you　are　not　going　to　sea　too？〃

〃No；　no！〃　interposed　Blanche　knowingly〃　he　is　going　to　be　married。
I　heard　nurse　wish　her　brother　success　when　he　was　going　to　marry　the
washerwoman　with　a　red　face。〃

〃No；〃　said　Mary；　〃people　never　are　married　till　they　are　twenty。〃

〃But　I　tell　you；〃　persisted　Blanche；　〃people　always　write　like　this；
in　a　great　book　in　church；　when　they　are　married。　　I　know；　for　we
always　go　into　church　with　Lucy　and　nurse　when　there　is　a　wedding。〃

〃Well；　Norman；　I　wish　you　success　with　the　bride　you　are　to　court；〃
said　Dr。　May；　much　diverted　with　the　young　ladies'　conjectures。

〃But　is　it　really？〃　said　Mary；　making　her　eyes　as　round　as　full
moons。

〃Is　it　really？〃　repeated　Blanche。　　〃Oh；　dear！　is　Norman　going　to　be
married？　　I　wish　it　was　to　be　Meta　Rivers；　for　then　I　could　always
ride　her　dear　little　white　pony。〃

〃Tell　them；〃　whispered　Norman；　a　good　deal　out　of　countenance；　as　he
leaned　over　Ethel；　and　quitted　the　room。

Ethel　cried；　〃Now　then！〃　and　looked　at　her　father；　while　Blanche　and
Mary　reiterated　inquiriesmarriage；　and　going　to　sea；　being　the　only
events　that；　in　their　imagination；　the　world　could　furnish。　　Going　to
try　for　a　Balliol　scholarship！　　It　was　a　sad　falling　off；　even　if
they　understood　what　it　meant。　　The　doctor's　explanations　to　Margaret
had　a　tone　of　apology　for　having　kept　her　in　ignorance；　and　Flora
said　few　words；　but　felt　herself　injured；　she　had　nearly　gone　to　Mrs。
Hoxton　that　afternoon；　and　how　strange　it　would　have　been　if　anything
had　been　said　to　her　of　her　own　brother's　projects；　when　she　was　in
ignorance。

Ethel　slipped　away　to　her　brother；　who　was　in　his　own　room；
surrounded　with　books；　flushed　and　anxious；　and　trying　to　glance　over
each　subject　on　which　he　felt　himself　weak。

〃I　shall　fail！　　I　know　I　shall！〃　was　his　exclamation。　　〃I　wish　I　had
never　thought　of　it！〃

〃What？　did　Dr。　Hoxton　think　you　not　likely　to　succeed？〃　cried　Ethel；
in　consternation。

〃Oh！　he　said　I　was　certain；　but　what　is　that？　　We　Stoneborough　men
only　compare　ourselves　with　each　other。　　I　shall　break　down　to　a
certainty；　and　my　father　will　be　disappointed。〃

〃You　will　do　your　best？〃

〃I　don't　know　that。　　My　best　will　all　go　away　when　it　comes　to　the
point。〃

〃Surely　not。　　It　did　not　go　away　last　time　you　were　examined；　and　why
should　it　now？〃

〃I　tell　you；　Ethel；　you　know　nothing　about　it。