5 midnigh+sun-第13部分

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do。　　Carlisle　always　chose　the　right　way。　　I　should　listen　to　him　now。　
The　sun　rose　behind　the　clouds；　and　the　faint　light　glistened　off　all　the　frozen　
glass。　
One　more　day；　I　decided。　　I　would　see　her　one　more　time。　　I　could　handle　that。　
Perhaps　I　would　mention　my　pending　disappearance；　set　the　story　up。　
This　was　going　to　be　difficult；　I　could　feel　that　in　the　heavy　reluctance　that　was　
already　making　me　think　of　excuses　to　stay—to　extend　the　deadline　to　two　days；　three；　
four？　　But　I　would　do　the　right　thing。　　I　knew　I　could　trust　Carlisle's　advice。　　And　I　also　
knew　that　I　was　too　conflicted　to　make　the　right　decision　alone。　
Much　too　conflicted。　　How　much　of　this　reluctance　came　from　my　obsessive　
curiosity；　and　how　much　came　from　my　unsatisfied　appetite？　
I　went　inside　to　change　into　fresh　clothes　for　school。　
Alice　was　waiting　for　me；　sitting　on　the　top　step　at　the　edge　of　the　third　floor。　
You're　leaving　again；　she　accused　me。　
I　sighed　and　nodded。　
I　can't　see　where　you're　going　this　time。　
〃I　don't　know　where　I'm　going　yet；〃　I　whispered。　
I　want　you　to　stay。　
I　shook　my　head。　
Maybe　Jazz　and　I　could　come　with　you？　
〃They'll　need　you　all　the　more；　if　I'm　not　here　to　watch　out　for　them。　　And　think　
of　Esme。　　Would　you　take　half　her　family　away　in　one　blow？〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
55　

You're　going　to　make　her　so　sad。　
〃I　know。　　That's　why　you　have　to　stay。〃　
That's　not　the　same　as　having　you　here；　and　you　know　it。　
〃Yes。　　But　I　have　to　do　what's　right。〃　
There　are　many　right　ways；　and　many　wrong　ways；　though；　aren't　there？　
For　a　brief　moment　she　was　swept　away　into　one　of　her　strange　visions；　I　watched　
along　with　her　as　the　indistinct　images　flickered　and　whirled。　　I　saw　myself　mixed　in　with　
strange　shadows　that　I　couldn't　make　out—hazy；　imprecise　forms。　　And　then；　suddenly；　
my　skin　was　glittering　in　the　bright　sunlight　of　a　small　open　meadow。　　This　was　a　place　I　
knew。　　There　was　a　figure　in　the　meadow　with　me；　but；　again；　it　was　indistinct；　not　there　
enough　to　recognize。　　The　images　shivered　and　disappeared　as　a　million　tiny　choices　
rearranged　the　future　again。　
〃I　didn't　catch　much　of　that；〃　I　told　her　when　the　vision　went　dark。　
Me　either。　　Your　future　is　shifting　around　so　much　I　can't　keep　up　with　any　of　it。　　I　
think；　though？　
She　stopped；　and　she　flipped　through　a　vast　collection　of　other　recent　visions　for　
me。　　They　were　all　the　same—blurry　and　vague。　
〃I　think　something　is　changing；　though；〃　she　said　out　loud。　　〃Your　life　seems　to　be　
at　a　crossroads。〃　
I　laughed　grimly。　　〃You　do　realize　that　you　sound　like　a　bogus　gypsy　at　a　carnival　
now；　right？〃　
She　stuck　her　tiny　tongue　out　at　me。　
〃Today　is　all　right；　though；　isn't　it？〃　I　asked；　my　voice　abruptly　apprehensive。　
〃I　don't　see　you　killing　anyone　today；〃　she　assured　me。　
〃Thanks；　Alice。〃　
〃Go　get　dressed。　　I　won't　say　anything—I'll　let　you　tell　the　others　when　you're　
ready。〃　
She　stood　and　darted　back　down　the　stairs；　her　shoulders　hunched　slightly。　　Miss　
you。　　Really。　
Yes；　I　would　really　miss　her；　too。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
56　

It　was　a　quiet　ride　to　school。　　Jasper　could　tell　that　Alice　was　upset　about　
something；　but　he　knew　that　if　she　wanted　to　talk　about　it　she　would　have　done　so　
already。　　Emmett　and　Rosalie　were　oblivious；　having　another　of　their　moments；　gazing　
into　each　others'　eyes　with　wonder—it　was　rather　disgusting　to　watch　from　the　outside。　
We　were　all　quite　aware　how　desperately　in　love　they　were。　　Or　maybe　I　was　just　being　
bitter　because　I　was　the　only　one　alone。　　Some　days　it　was　harder　than　others　to　live　with　
three　sets　of　perfectly　matched　lovers。　　This　was　one　of　them。　
Maybe　they　would　all　be　happier　without　me　hanging　around；　ill…tempered　and　
belligerent　as　the　old　man　I　should　be　by　now。　
Of　course；　the　first　thing　I　did　when　we　reached　the　school　was　to　look　for　the　
girl。　　Just　preparing　myself　again。　
Right。　
It　was　embarrassing　how　my　world　suddenly　seemed　to　be　empty　of　everything　
but　her—my　whole　existence　centered　around　the　girl；　rather　than　around　myself　
anymore。　
It　was　easy　enough　to　understand；　though；　really；　after　eighty　years　of　the　same　
thing　every　day　and　every　night；　any　change　became　a　point　of　absorption。　
She　had　not　yet　arrived；　but　could　I　hear　the　thunderous　chugging　of　her　truck's　
engine　in　the　distance。　　I　leaned　against　the　side　of　the　car　to　wait。　　Alice　stayed　with　me；　
while　the　others　went　straight　to　class。　　They　were　bored　with　my　fixation—it　was　
incomprehensible　to　them　how　any　human　could　hold　my　interest　for　so　long；　no　matter　
how　delicious　she　smelled。　
The　girl　drove　slowly　into　view；　her　eyes　intent　on　the　road　and　her　hands　tight　on　
the　wheel。　　She　seemed　anxious　about　something。　　It　took　me　a　second　to　figure　out　what　
that　something　was；　to　realize　that　every　human　wore　the　same　expression　today。　　Ah；　the　
road　was　slick　with　ice；　and　they　were　all　trying　to　drive　more　carefully。　　I　could　see　she　
was　taking　the　added　risk　seriously。　
That　seemed　in　line　with　what　little　I　had　learned　of　her　character。　　I　added　this　to　
my　small　list：　she　was　a　serious　person；　a　responsible　person。　
She　parked　not　too　far　from　me；　but　she　hadn't　noticed　me　standing　here　yet；　
staring　at　her。　　I　wondered　what　she　would　do　when　she　did？　　Blush　and　walk　away？　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
57　

That　was　my　first　guess。　　But　maybe　she　would　stare　back。　　Maybe　she　would　come　to　
talk　to　me。　
I　took　a　deep　breath；　filling　my　lungs　hopefully；　just　in　case。　
She　got　out　of　the　truck　with　care；　testing　the　slick　ground　before　she　put　her　
weight　on　it。　　She　didn't　look　up；　and　that　frustrated　me。　　Maybe　I　would　go　talk　to　her？　
No；　that　would　be　wrong。　
Instead　of　turning　toward　the　school；　she　made　her　way　to　the　rear　of　her　truck；　
clinging　to　the　side　of　the　truck　bed　in　a　droll　way；　not　trusting　her　footing。　　It　made　me　
smile；　and　I　felt　Alice's　eyes　on　my　face。　　I　didn't　listen　to　whatever　this　made　her　
think—I　was　having　too　much　fun　watching　the　girl　check　her　snow　chains。　　She　actually　
looked　in　some　danger　of　falling；　the　way　her　feet　were　sliding　around。　　No　one　else　was　
having　trouble—had　she　parked　in　the　worst　of　the　ice？　
She　paused　there；　staring　down　with　a　strange　expression　on　her　face。　　It　
was？tender？　　As　if　something　about　the　tire　was　making　her？emotional？　
Again；　the　curiosity　ached　like　a　thirst。　　It　was　as　if　I　had　to　know　what　she　was　
thinking—as　if　nothing　else　mattered。　
I　would　go　talk　to　her。　　She　looked　like　she　could　use　a　hand　anyway；　at　least　until　
she　was　off　the　slick　pavement。　　Of　course；　I　couldn't　offer　her　that；　could　I？　　I　hesitated；　
torn。　　As　adverse　as　she　seemed　to　be　to　snow；　she　would　hardly　welcome　the　touch　of　
my　cold　white　hand。　　I　should　have　worn　gloves—　
〃NO！〃　Alice　gasped　aloud。　
Instantly；　I　scanned　her　thoughts；　guessing　at　first　that　I　had　made　a　poor　choice　
and　she　saw　me　doing　something　inexcusable。　　But　it　had　nothing　to　do　with　me　at　all。　
Tyler　Crowley　had　chosen　to　take　the　turn　into　the　parking　lot　at　an　injudicious　
speed。　　This　choice　would　send　him　skidding　across　a　patch　of　ice？　
The　vision　came　just　half　a　second　before　the　reality。　　Tyler's　van　rounded　the　
corner　as　I　was　still　watching　the　conclusion　that　had　pulled　the　horrified　gasp　through　
Alice's　lips。　
No；　this　vision　had　nothing　to　do　with　me；　and　yet　it　had　everything　to　do　with　
me；　because　Tyler's　van—the　tires　right　now　hitting　the　ice　at　the　worst　possible　angle—　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
58　

was　going　to　spin　across　the　lot　and　crush　the　girl　who　had　become　the　uninvited　focal　
point　of　my　world。　
Even　without　Alice's　foresight　it　would　have　been　simple　enough　to　read　the　
trajectory　of　the　vehicle；　flying　out　of　Tyler's　control。　
The　girl；　standing　in　the　exactly　wrong　place　at　the　back　of　her　truck；　looked　up；　
bewildered　by　the　sound　of　the　screeching　tires。　　She　looked　straight　into　my　horror…　
struck　eyes；　and　then　turned　to　watch　her　approaching　death。　
Not　her！　　The　words　shouted　in　my　head　as　if　they　belonged　to　someone　else。　
Still　locked　into　Alice's　thoughts；　I　saw　the　vision　suddenly　shift；　but　I　had　no　
time　to　see　what　the　outcome　would　be。　
I　launched　myself　across　the　lot；　throwing　myself　between　the　skidding　van　and　
the　frozen　girl。　　I　moved　so　fast　that　everything　was　a　streaky　blur　except　for　the　object　of　
my　focus。　　She　didn't　see　me—no　human　eyes　could　have　followed　my　flight—still　
staring　at　the　hulking　shape　that　was　about　to　grind　her　body　into　the　metal　frame　of　her　
truck。　
I　caught　her　around　the　waist；　moving　with　too　much　urgency　to　be　as　gentle　as　
she　would　need　me　to　be。　　In　the　hundredth　of　a　second　between　the　time　that　I　yanked　
her　slight　form　out　of　the　path　of　death　and　the　time　that　I　crashed　into　to　the　ground　with　
her　in　my　arms；　I　was　vividly　aware　of　her　fragile；　breakable　body。　
When　I　heard　her　head　crack　against　the　ice；　it　felt　like　I　had　turned　to　ice；　too。　
But　I　didn't　even　have　a　full　second　to　ascertain　her　condition。　　I　heard　the　van　
behind　us；　grating　and　squealing　as　it　twisted　around　the　sturdy　iron　body　of　the　girl's　
truck。　　It　wa