5 midnigh+sun-第40部分

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Bella；　I　smiled　widely　at　her；　baring　my　teeth。　　Let　her　see　me　clearly。　
Whoa。　〃Um？your　server　will　be　right　out。〃　　He　can't　be　real。　　I　must　be　asleep。　
Maybe　she'll　disappear？maybe　I'll　write　my　number　on　his　plate　with　ketchup？　　She　
wandered　away；　listing　slightly　to　the　side。　
Odd。　　She　still　wasn't　frightened。　I　suddenly　remembered　Emmett　teasing　me　in　
the　cafeteria；　so　many　weeks　ago。　　I'll　bet　I　could　have　scared　her　better　than　that。　
Was　I　losing　my　edge？　
〃You　really　shouldn't　do　that　to　people；〃　Bella　interrupted　my　thoughts　in　a　
disapproving　tone。　　〃It's　hardly　fair。〃　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
182　

I　stared　at　her　critical　expression。　　What　did　she　mean？　　I　hadn't　frightened　the　
hostess　at　all；　despite　my　intentions。　　〃Do　what？〃　
〃Dazzle　them　like　that—she's　probably　hyperventilating　in　the　kitchen　right　
now。〃　
Hmm。　　Bella　was　very　nearly　right。　　The　hostess　was　only　semi…coherent　at　the　
moment；　describing　her　incorrect　assessment　of　me　to　her　friend　on　the　wait　staff。　
〃Oh；　come　on；〃　Bella　chided　me　when　I　didn't　answer　immediately。　　〃You　have　
to　know　the　effect　you　have　on　people。〃　
〃I　dazzle　people？〃　　That　was　an　interesting　way　of　phrasing　it。　　Accurate　enough　
for　tonight。　　I　wondered　why　the　difference？　
〃You　haven't　noticed？〃　she　asked；　still　critical。　　〃Do　you　think　everybody　gets　
their　way　so　easily？〃　
〃Do　I　dazzle　you？〃　I　voiced　my　curiosity　impulsively；　and　then　the　words　were　
out；　and　it　was　too　late　to　recall　them。　
But　before　I　had　time　to　too　deeply　regret　speaking　the　words　aloud　she　answered；　
〃Frequently。〃　　And　her　cheeks　took　on　a　faint　pink　glow。　
I　dazzled　her。　
My　silent　heart　swelled　with　a　hope　more　intense　than　I　could　ever　remember　
having　felt　before。　
〃Hello；〃　someone　said；　the　waitress；　introducing　herself。　　Her　thoughts　were　loud；　
and　more　explicit　than　the　hostess's；　but　I　tuned　her　out。　　I　stared　at　Bella's　face　instead　
of　listening；　watching　the　blood　spreading　under　her　skin；　noticing　not　how　that　made　my　
throat　flame；　but　rather　how　it　brightened　her　fair　face；　how　it　set　off　the　cream　of　her　
skin？　
The　waitress　was　waiting　for　something　from　me。　　Ah；　she'd　asked　for　our　drink　
order。　　I　continued　to　stare　at　Bella；　and　the　waitress　grudgingly　turned　to　look　at　her；　too。　
〃I'll　have　a　coke？〃　Bella　said；　as　if　asking　for　approval。　
〃Two　cokes；〃　I　amended。　　Thirst—normal；　human　thirst—was　a　sign　of　shock。　　I　
would　make　sure　she　had　the　extra　sugar　from　the　soda　in　her　system。　
She　looked　healthy；　though。　　More　than　healthy。　　She　looked　radiant。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
183　

〃What？〃　she　demanded—wondering　why　I　was　staring；　I　guessed。　　I　was　vaguely　
aware　that　the　waitress　had　left。　
〃How　are　you　feeling？〃　I　asked。　
She　blinked；　surprised　by　the　question。　　〃I'm　fine。〃　
〃You　don't　feel　dizzy；　sick；　cold？〃　
She　was　even　more　confused　now。　　〃Should　I？〃　
〃Well；　I　actually　I'm　waiting　for　you　to　go　into　shock。〃　　I　half…smiled；　expecting　
her　denial。　　She　would　not　want　to　be　taken　care　of。　
It　took　her　a　minute　to　answer　me。　　Her　eyes　were　slightly　unfocused。　　She　looked　
that　way　sometimes；　when　I　smiled　at　her。　　Was　she？dazzled？　
I　would　love　to　believe　that。　
〃I　don't　think　that　will　happen。　　I've　always　been　very　good　at　repressing　
unpleasant　things；〃　she　answered；　a　little　breathless。　
Did　she　have　a　lot　of　practice　with　unpleasant　things；　then？　　Was　her　life　always　
this　hazardous？　
〃Just　the　same；〃　I　told　her。　　〃I'll　feel　better　when　you　have　some　sugar　and　food　in　
you。〃　
The　waitress　returned　with　the　cokes　and　a　basket　of　bread。　　She　put　them　in　front　
of　me；　and　asked　for　my　order；　trying　to　catch　my　eye　in　the　process。　　I　indicated　that　she　
should　attend　to　Bella；　and　then　went　back　to　tuning　her　out。　　She　had　a　vulgar　mind。　
〃Um？〃　Bella　glanced　quickly　at　the　menu。　　〃I'll　have　the　mushroom　ravioli。〃　
The　waitress　turned　back　to　me　eagerly。　　〃And　you？〃　
〃Nothing　for　me。〃　
Bella　made　a　slight　face。　　Hmm。　　She　must　have　noticed　that　I　never　ate　food。　　She　
noticed　everything。　　And　I　always　forgot　to　be　careful　around　her。　
I　waited　till　we　were　alone　again。　
〃Drink；〃　I　insisted。　
I　was　surprised　when　she　complied　immediately　and　without　objection。　　She　
drank　until　the　glass　was　entirely　empty；　so　I　pushed　the　second　coke　toward　her；　
frowning　a　little。　　Thirst；　or　shock？　
She　drank　a　little　more；　and　then　shuddered　once。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
184　

〃Are　you　cold？〃　
〃It's　just　the　coke；〃　she　said；　but　she　shivered　again；　her　lips　trembling　slightly　as　
if　her　teeth　were　about　to　chatter。　
The　pretty　blouse　she　wore　looked　too　thin　to　protect　her　adequately；　it　clung　to　
her　like　a　second　skin；　almost　as　fragile　as　the　first。　　She　was　so　frail；　so　mortal。　　〃Don't　
you　have　a　jacket？〃　
〃Yes。〃　　She　looked　around　herself；　a　little　perplexed。　　〃Oh—I　left　it　in　Jessica's　
car。〃　
I　pulled　off　my　jacket；　wishing　that　the　gesture　was　not　marred　by　my　body　
temperature。　　It　would　have　been　nice　to　have　been　able　to　offer　her　a　warm　coat。　　She　
stared　at　me；　her　cheeks　warming　again。　　What　was　she　thinking　now？　
I　handed　her　the　jacket　across　the　table；　and　she　put　it　on　at　once；　and　then　
shuddered　again。　
Yes；　it　would　be　very　nice　to　be　warm。　
〃Thanks；〃　she　said。　　She　took　a　deep　breath；　and　then　pushed　the　too…long　sleeves　
back　to　free　her　hands。　　She　took　another　deep　breath。　
Was　the　evening　finally　settling　in？　　Her　color　was　still　good；　her　skin　was　cream　
and　roses　against　the　deep　blue　of　her　shirt。　
〃That　color　blue　looks　lovely　with　your　skin；〃　I　complimented　her。　　Just　being　
honest。　
She　flushed；　enhancing　the　effect。　
She　looked　well；　but　there　was　no　point　in　taking　chances。　　I　pushed　the　basket　of　
bread　toward　her。　
〃Really；〃　she　objected；　guessing　my　motives。　　〃I'm　not　going　into　shock。〃　
〃You　should　be—a　normal　person　would　be。　　You　don't　even　look　shaken。〃　　I　
stared　at　her；　disapproving；　wondering　why　she　couldn't　be　normal　and　then　wondering　if　
really　wanted　her　to　be　that　way。　
〃I　feel　very　safe　with　you；〃　she　said；　her　eyes；　again；　filled　with　trust。　　Trust　I　
didn't　deserve。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
185　

Her　instincts　were　all　wrong—backwards。　　That　must　be　the　problem。　　She　didn't　
recognize　danger　the　way　a　human　being　should　be　able　to。　　She　had　the　opposite　
reaction。　　Instead　of　running；　she　lingered；　drawn　to　what　should　frighten　her？　
How　could　I　protect　her　from　myself　when　neither　of　us　wanted　that？　
〃This　is　more　complicated　than　I'd　planned；〃　I　murmured。　
I　could　see　her　turning　my　words　over　in　her　head；　and　I　wondered　what　she　made　
of　them。　　She　took　a　breadstick　and　began　to　eat　without　seeming　aware　of　the　action。　
She　chewed　for　a　moment；　and　then　leaned　her　head　to　one　side　thoughtfully。　
〃Usually　you're　in　a　better　mood　when　your　eyes　are　so　light；〃　she　said　in　a　
casual　tone。　
Her　observation；　stated　so　matter　of　factly；　left　me　reeling。　　〃What？〃　
〃You're　always　crabbier　when　your　eyes　are　black—I　expect　it　then。　　I　have　a　
theory　about　that；〃　she　added　lightly。　
So　she　had　come　up　with　her　own　explanation。　　Of　course　she　had。　　I　felt　a　deep　
sense　of　dread　as　I　wondered　how　close　she'd　come　to　the　truth。　
〃More　theories？〃　
〃Mm…hm。〃　　She　chewed　on　another　bite；　entirely　nonchalant。　　As　if　she　weren't　
discussing　the　aspects　of　a　monster　with　the　monster　himself。　
〃I　hope　you　were　more　creative　this　time？〃　I　lied　when　she　didn't　continue。　
What　I　really　hoped　was　that　she　was　wrong—miles　wide　of　the　mark。　　〃Or　are　you　still　
stealing　from　comic　books？〃　
〃Well；　no；　I　didn't　get　it　from　a　comic　book；〃　she　said；　a　little　embarrassed。　　〃But　
I　didn't　come　up　with　it　on　my　own；　either。〃　
〃And？〃　I　asked　between　my　teeth。　
Surely　should　would　not　speak　so　calmly　if　she　were　about　to　scream。　
As　she　hesitated；　biting　her　lip；　the　waitress　reappeared　with　Bella's　food。　　I　paid　
the　server　little　attention　as　she　set　the　plate　in　front　of　Bella　and　then　asked　if　I　wanted　
anything。　
I　declined；　but　asked　for　more　coke。　　The　waitress　hadn't　noticed　the　empty　
glasses。　　She　took　them　and　left。　
〃You　were　saying？〃　I　prompted　anxiously　as　soon　as　we　were　alone　again。　
？　2008　Stephenie　Meyer　
　
186　

〃I'll　tell　you　about　it　in　the　car；〃　she　said　in　a　low　voice。　　Ah；　this　would　be　bad。　
She　wasn't　willing　to　speak　her　guesses　around　others。　　〃If？〃　she　tacked　on　suddenly。　
〃There　are　conditions？〃　　I　was　so　tense　I　almost　growled　the　words。　
〃I　do　have　a　few　questions；　of　course。〃　
〃Of　course；〃　I　agreed；　my　voice　hard。　
Her　questions　would　probably　be　enough　to　tell　me　where　her　thoughts　were　
heading。　　But　how　would　I　answer　them？　　With　responsible　lies？　　Or　would　I　drive　her　
away　with　truth？　　Or　would　I　say　nothing；　unable　to　decide？　
We　sat　in　silence　while　the　waitress　replenished　her　supply　of　soda。　
〃Well；　go　ahead；〃　I　said；　jaw　locked；　when　she　was　gone。　
〃Why　are　you　in　Port　Angeles？〃　
That　was　too　easy　a　question—for　her。　　It　gave　away　nothing；　while　my　answer；　if　
truthful；　would　give　away　much　too　much。　　Let　her　reveal　something　first。　
〃Next；〃　I　said。　
〃But　that's　the　easiest　one！'　
〃Next；〃　I　said　again。　
She　was　frustrated　by　my　refusal。　　She　looked　away　f