da.therestaurantattheendoftheuniverse-第27部分

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　　〃That's　not　what　I　was　told！〃　he　hissed；　〃My　manding　officer　told　me　that　the　entire　planet　was　in　imminent　danger　of　being　eaten　by　an　enormous　mutant　star　goat！〃
　　〃Oh　really。。。〃　said　Ford　Prefect。
　　〃Yes！　A　monstrous　creature　from　the　pit　of　hell　with　scything　teeth　ten　thousand　miles　long；　breath　that　would　boil　oceans；　claws　that　could　tear　continents　from　their　roots；　a　thousand　eyes　that　burned　like　the　sun；　slavering　jaws　a　million　miles　across；　a　monster　such　as　you　have　never。。。　never。。。　ever。。。〃
　　〃And　they　made　sure　they　sent　you　lot　off　first　did　they？〃　inquired　Arthur。
　　〃Oh　yes；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃well　everyone　said；　very　nicely　I　thought；　that　it　was　very　important　for　morale　to　feel　that　they　would　be　arriving　on　a　planet　where　they　could　be　sure　of　a　good　haircut　and　where　the　phones　were　clean。〃
　　〃Oh　yes；〃　agreed　Ford；　〃I　can　see　that　would　be　very　important。　And　the　other　ships；　er。。。　they　followed　on　after　you　did　they？〃
　　For　a　moment　the　Captain　did　not　answer。　He　twisted　round　in　his　bath　and　gazed　backwards　over　the　huge　bulk　of　the　ship　towards　the　bright　galactic　centre。　He　squinted　into　the　inconceivable　distance。
　　〃Ah。　Well　it's　funny　you　should　say　that；〃　he　said　and　allowed　himself　a　slight　frown　at　Ford　Prefect；　〃because　curiously　enough　we　haven't　heard　a　peep　out　of　them　since　we　left　five　years　ago。。。　but　they　must　be　behind　us　somewhere。〃
　　He　peered　off　into　the　distance　again。
　　Ford　peered　with　him　and　gave　a　thoughtful　frown。
　　〃Unless　of　course；〃　he　said　softly；　〃they　were　eaten　by　the　goat。。。〃
　　〃Ah　yes。。。〃　said　the　Captain　with　a　slight　hesitancy　creeping　into　his　voice；　〃the　goat。。。〃　His　eyes　passed　over　the　solid　shapes　of　the　instruments　and　puters　that　lined　the　bridge。　They　winked　away　innocently　at　him。　He　stared　out　at　the　stars；　but　none　of　them　said　a　word。　He　glanced　at　his　first　and　second　officers；　but　they　seemed　lost　in　their　own　thoughts　for　a　moment。　He　glanced　at　Ford　Prefect　who　raised　his　eyebrows　at　him。
　　〃It's　a　funny　thing　you　know；〃　said　the　Captain　at　last；　〃but　now　that　I　actually　e　to　tell　the　story　to　someone　else。。。　I　mean　does　it　strike　you　as　odd　Number　Two？〃
　　〃Errrrrrrrrrrr。。。〃　said　Number　Two。
　　〃Well；〃　said　Ford；　〃I　can　see　that　you've　got　a　lot　of　things　you're　going　to　talk　about；　so；　thanks　for　the　drinks；　and　if　you　could　sort　of　drop　us　off　at　the　nearest　convenient　planet。。。〃
　　〃Ah；　well　that's　a　little　difficult　you　see；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃because　our　trajectory　thingy　was　preset　before　we　left　Golgafrincham；　I　think　partly　because　I'm　not　very　good　with　figures。。。〃
　　〃You　mean　we're　stuck　here　on　this　ship？〃　exclaimed　Ford　suddenly　losing　patience　with　the　whole　charade；　〃When　are　you　meant　to　be　reaching　this　planet　you're　meant　to　be　colonizing？〃
　　〃Oh；　we're　nearly　there　I　think；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃any　second　now。　It's　probably　time　I　was　getting　out　of　this　bath　in　fact。　Oh；　I　don't　know　though；　why　stop　just　when　I'm　enjoying　it？〃
　　〃So　we're　actually　going　to　land　in　a　minute？〃
　　〃Well　not　so　much　land；　in　fact；　not　actually　land　as　such；　no。。。　er。。。〃
　　〃What　are　you　talking　about？〃　said　Ford　sharply。
　　〃Well；〃　said　the　Captain；　picking　his　way　through　the　words　carefully；　〃I　think　as　far　as　I　can　remember　we　were　programmed　to　crash　on　it。〃
　　〃Crash？〃　shouted　Ford　and　Arthur。
　　〃Er；　yes；〃　said　the　Captain；　〃yes；　it's　all　part　of　the　plan　I　think。　There　was　a　terribly　good　reason　for　it　which　I　can't　quite　remember　at　the　moment。　It　was　something　to　with。。。　er。。。〃
　　Ford　exploded。
　　〃You're　a　load　of　useless　bloody　loonies！〃　he　shouted。
　　〃Ah　yes；　that　was　it；〃　beamed　the　Captain；　〃that　was　the　reason。〃
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　25
　　
　　The　Hitch　Hiker's　Guide　to　the　Galaxy　has　this　to　say　about　the　planet　of　Golgafrincham：　It　is　a　planet　with　an　ancient　and　mysterious　history；　rich　in　legend；　red；　and　occasionally　green　with　the　blood　of　those　who　sought　in　times　gone　by　to　conquer　her；　a　land　of　parched　and　barren　landscapes；　of　sweet　and　sultry　air　heady　with　the　scent　of　the　perfumed　springs　that　trickle　over　its　hot　and　dusty　rocks　and　nourish　the　dark　and　musty　lichens　beneath；　a　land　of　fevered　brows　and　intoxicated　imaginings；　particularly　amongst　those　who　taste　the　lichens；　a　land　also　of　cool　and　shaded　thoughts　amongst　those　who　have　learnt　to　forswear　the　lichens　and　find　a　tree　to　sit　beneath；　a　land　also　of　steel　and　blood　and　heroism；　a　land　of　the　body　and　of　the　spirit。　This　was　its　history。
　　And　in　all　this　ancient　and　mysterious　history；　the　most　mysterious　figures　of　all　were　without　doubt　those　of　the　Great　Circling　Poets　of　Arium。　These　Circling　Poets　used　to　live　in　remote　mountain　passes　where　they　would　lie　in　wait　for　small　bands　of　unwary　travellers；　circle　round　them；　and　throw　rocks　at　them。
　　And　when　the　travellers　cried　out；　saying　why　didn't　they　go　away　and　get　on　with　writing　some　poems　instead　of　pestering　people　with　all　this　rock…throwing　business；　they　would　suddenly　stop；　and　then　break　into　one　of　the　seven　hundred　and　ninety…four　great　Song　Cycles　of　Vassilian。　These　songs　were　all　of　extraordinary　beauty；　and　even　more　extraordinary　length；　and　all　fell　into　exactly　the　same　pattern。
　　The　first　part　of　each　song　would　tell　how　there　once　went　forth　from　the　City　of　Vassilian　a　party　of　five　sage　princes　with　four　horses。　The　princes；　who　are　of　course　brave；　noble　and　wise；　travel　widely　in　distant　lands；　fought　giant　ogres；　pursue　exotic　philosophies；　take　tea　with　weird　gods　and　rescue　beautiful　monsters　from　ravening　princesses　before　finally　announcing　that　they　have　achieved　enlightenment　and　that　their　wanderings　are　therefore　acplished。
　　The　second；　and　much　longer；　part　of　each　song　would　then　tell　of　all　their　bickerings　about　which　one　of　them　is　going　to　have　to　walk　back。
　　All　this　lay　in　the　planet's　remote　past。　It　was；　however；　a　descendant　of　one　of　these　eccentric　poets　who　invented　the　spurious　tales　of　impending　doom　which　enabled　the　people　of　Golgafrincham　to　rid　themselves　of　an　entire　useless　third　of　their　population。　The　other　two…thirds　stayed　firmly　at　home　and　lived　full；　rich　and　happy　lives　until　they　were　all　suddenly　wiped　out　by　a　virulent　disease　contracted　from　a　dirty　telephone。
　　
　　
　　　Chapter　26
　　
　　That　night　the　ship　crash…landed　on　to　an　utterly　insignificant　little　green…blue　planet　which　circled　a　small　unregarded　yellow　sun　in　the　uncharted　backwaters　of　the　unfashionable　end　of　the　Western　spiral　arm　of　the　Galaxy。
　　In　the　hours　preceding　the　crash　Ford　Prefect　had　fought　furiously　but　in　vain　to　unlock　the　controls　of　the　ship　from　their　pre…ordained　flight　path。　It　had　quickly　bee　apparent　to　him　that　the　ship　had　been　programmed　to　convey　its　payload　safely；　in　unfortably；　to　its　new　home　but　to　cripple　itself　beyond　repair　in　the　process。
　　Its　screaming；　blazing　descent　through　the　atmosphere　had　stripped　away　most　of　its　superstructure　and　outer　shielding；　and　its　final　inglorious　bellyflop　into　a　murky　swamp　had　left　its　crew　only　a　few　hours　of　darkness　during　which　to　revive　and　offload　its　deep…frozen　and　unwanted　cargo　for　the　ship　began　to　settle　almost　at　once；　slowly　upending　its　gigantic　bulk　in　the　stagnant　slime。　Once　or　twice　during　the　night　it　was　starkly　silhouetted　against　the　sky　as　burning　meteors　…　the　detritus　of　its　descent　…　flashed　across　the　sky。
　　In　the　grey　pre…dawn　light　it　let　out　an　obscene　roaring　gurgle　and　sank　for　ever　into　the　stinking　depths。
　　When　the　sun　came　up　that　morning　it　shed　its　thin　watery　light　over　a　vast　area　heaving　with　wailing　hairdressers；　public　relations　executives；　opinion　pollsters　and　the　rest；　all　clawing　their　way　desperately　to　dry　land。
　　A　less　strong　minded　sun　would　probably　have　gone　straight　back　down　again；　but　it　continued　to　climb　its　way　through　the　sky　and　after　a　while　the　influence　of　its　warming　rays　began　to　have　some　restoring　effect　on　the　feebly　struggling　creatures。
　　Countless　numbers　had；　unsurprisingly；　been　lost　to　the　swamp　in　the　night；　and　millions　more　had　been　sucked　down　with　the　ship；　but　those　that　survived　still　numbered　hundreds　of　thousands　and　as　the　day　wore　on　they　crawled　out　over　the　surrounding　countryside；　each　looking　for　a　few　square　feet　of　solid　ground　on　which　to　collapse　and　recover　from　their　nightmare　ordeal。
　　Two　figures　moved　further　afield。
　　From　a　nearby　hillside　Ford　Prefect　and　Arthur　Dent　watched　the　horror　of　which　they　could　not　feel　a　part。
　　〃Filthy　dirty　trick　to　pull；〃　muttered　Arthur。
　　Ford　scraped　a　stick　along　the　ground　and　shrugged。
　　〃An　imaginative　solution　to　a　problem　I'd　have　thought；〃　he　said。
　　〃Why　can't　people　just　learn　to　live　together　in　peace　and　harmony？〃　said　Arthur。
　　Ford　gave　a　loud；　very　hollow　laugh。
　　〃Forty…two！〃　he　said　with　a　malicious　grin；　〃No；　doesn't　work。　Never　mind。〃
　　Arthur　looked　at　him　as　if　he'd　gone　mad　and；　seeing　nothing　to　indicate　the　contrary；　realized　that　it　would　be　perfectly　reasonable　to　assume　that　this　had　in　fact　happened。
　　〃What　do　you　think　will　happen　to　them　all？〃　he　said　after　a　while。
　　〃In　an　in