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cb.imajica1-第53部分
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of him with a shock of recognition; as though he was some long lost rade。 She might have thought herself crazy; except that what she felt was echoed on his face。 He looked at her with narrowed eyes; turning his head a little to the side。
〃You're Judith?〃
〃Yes。 Who are you?〃
〃Oscar Godolphin。〃
She let her shallow breaths go; in favor of a deeper draft。
〃Oh 。 。 。 thank God;'1 she said。 〃You startled me。 I thought 。 。 。 I don't know what I thought。 Did the dog try and attack you?〃
〃Forget the dog;〃 he said; stepping into the chapel。 〃Have we met before?〃
〃I don't believe so;〃 she said。 〃Where's Charlie? Is he all right?〃
Godolphin continued to approach her; his step steady。 〃This confuses things;〃 he said。
〃What does?〃
〃Me 。 。 。 knowing you。 You being whoever you are。 It confuses things。〃
〃I don't see why;〃 she said。 〃I'd wanted to meet you; and I asked Charlie several times if he'd introduce us; but he always seemed reluctant。 。 。 。〃 She kept chattering; as much to defend herself from his appraisal as for munication's sake。 She felt if she fell silent she'd forget herself utterly; bee his object。 〃I'm very pleased we finally get to talk。〃
He was close enough to touch her now。 She put out her hand to shake his。
〃It really is a pleasure;〃 she said。
Outside; the dog began barking again; and this time its din was followed by a shout。
〃Oh; God; he's bitten somebody;〃 Jude said; and started towards the door。
Oscar took hold of her arm; and the contact; light but proprietorial; checked her。 She looked back towards him; and all the laughable cliches of romantic fiction were suddenly real and deadly serious。 Her heart was beating in her throat; her cheeks were beacons; the ground seemed uncertain beneath her feet。 There was no pleasure in this; only a sickening powerlessness she could do nothing to defend herself against。 Her only fort…and it was small…was the fact that her partner in this dance of desire seemed almost as distressed by their mutual fixation as she。
The dog's din was abruptly cut short; and she heard Charlie yell her name。 Oscar's glance went to the door; and hers went with it; to see Estabrook; armed with a cudgel of wood; gasping at the threshold。 Behind him; an abomination: a half…burned creature; its face caved in (Charlie's doing; she saw; there were scraps of its blackened flesh on the cudgel) reaching blindly for him。
She cried out at the sight; and he stepped aside as it lurched forward。 It lost its balance on the step and fell。 One hand; fingers burned to the bone; reached for the door…jamb; but Charlie brought his weapon down on its wounded head。 Skull shards flew; silvery blood preceded its head to the step; as its hand missed its purchase and it collapsed on the threshold。
She heard Oscar quietly moan。
〃You fuckhead!〃 Charlie said。
He was panting and sweaty; but there was a gleam of purpose in his eye she'd never seen the like of。
〃Let her go;〃 he said。
She felt Oscar's grip go from her arm and mourned its departure。 What she'd felt for Charlie had been only a prophecy of what she felt now; as if she'd loved him in remembrance of a man she'd never met。 And now that she had; now that she'd heard the true voice and not its echo; Estabrook seemed like a poor substitute; for all his tardy heroism。
Where these feelings came from she didn't know; but they had the force of instinct; and she would not be gainsaid。 She stared at Oscar。 He was overweight; overdressed; and doubtless overbearing: not the kind of individual she'd have sought out; given the choice。 But for some reason she didn't yet prehend; she'd had that choice denied。 Some urge profounder than conscious desire had claimed her will。 The fears she had for Charlie's safety; and indeed for her own; were suddenly remote: almost abstractions。
〃Take no notice of him;〃 Charlie said。 〃He's not going to hurt you。〃
She glanced his way。 He looked like a husk beside his brother; beset by tics and tremors。 How had she ever loved him?
〃e here;〃 he said; beckoning to her。
She didn't move; until Oscar said; 〃Go on。〃
More out of obedience to his instruction than any wish to go; she started to walk towards Charlie。
As she did so another shadow fell across the threshold。 A severely dressed young man with dyed blond hair appeared at the door; the lines of his face perfect to the point of banality。
〃Stay away; Dowd;〃 Oscar said。 〃This is just Charlie and me。〃
Dowd looked down at the body on the step; then back at Oscar; offering two words of warning: 〃He's dangerous。〃
〃I know what he is;〃 Oscar said。 〃Judith; why don't you step outside with Dowd?〃
〃Don't go near that little fucker;〃 Charlie told her。 〃He killed Skin。 And there's another of those things out there。〃
〃They're called voiders; Charles;〃 Oscar said。 〃And they're not going to harm a hair on her beautiful head。 Judith。 Look at me。〃 She looked around at him。 〃You're not in danger。 You understand? Nobody's going to hurt you。〃
She understood and believed him。 Without looking back at Charlie; she went to the door。 The dog killer moved aside; offering her a hand to help her over the voider's corpse; but she ignored it and went out into the sun with a shameful lightness in her heart and step。 Dowd followed her as she walked from the chapel。 She felt his stare。
〃Judith 。 。 。〃 he said; as if astonished。
〃That's me;〃 she replied; knowing that to lay claim to that identity was somehow momentous。
Squatting in the humus a little way from them she saw the other voider。 It was idly perusing the body of Skin; running its fingers over the dog's flank。 She looked away; unwilling to have the strange joy she felt soured by morbidity。
She and Dowd had reached the edge of the wood; where she had an unhindered view of the sky。 The sun was sinking; gaining color as it fell and lending a new glamour to the vista of park; terraces; and house。
〃I feel as though I've been here before;〃 she said。
The thought was strangely soothing。 Like the feelings she had towards Oscar; it rose from some place in her she didn't remember owning; and identifying its source was not for now as important as accepting its presence。 That she did; gladly。 She'd spent so much of her recent life in the grip of events that lay outside her power to control; it was a pleasure to touch a source of feeling that was so deep; so instinctive; she didn't need to analyze its intentions。 It was part of her; and therefore good。 Tomorrow; maybe; or the day after; she'd question its significance more closely。
〃Do you remember anything specific about this place?〃 Dowd asked her。
She mused on this for a time; then said; 〃No。 It's just a feeling of。 。 。 belonging。〃
〃Then maybe it's better not to remember;〃 came the reply。 〃You know memory。 It can be very treacherous。〃
She didn't like this man; but there was merit in his observation。 She could barely remember ten years of her own span; thinking back beyond that would be near impossible。 If the recollections came; in the fullness of time; she'd wele them。 But for now she had a brimming cup of feelings; and perhaps they were all the more attractive for their mystery。
There were raised voices from the chapel; though the echo within and the distance without made prehension impossible。
〃A little sibling rivalry;〃 Dowd remarked。 〃How does it feel being a woman contested over?〃
〃There's no contest;〃 she replied。
〃They don't seem to think so;〃 he said。
The voices were shouts now; rising to a pitch; then suddenly subdued。 One of them went on talking…Oscar; she thought…interrupted by exhortations from the other。 Were they bargaining over her; throwing their bids back and forth? She started to think she should intervene。 Go back to the chapel and make her allegiance; irrational as it was; quite plain。 Better to tell the truth now than let Charlie bargain away his goods and chattels only to discover the prize wasn't his to have。 She turned and began to walk towards the chapel。
〃What are you doing?〃 said Dowd。
〃I have to talk to them。〃
〃Mr。 Godolphin told you…〃
〃I heard him。 I have to talk to them。〃
Off to her right she saw the voider rise from its haunches; its eyes not on her but on the open door。 It sniffed the air; then let out a whistle as plaintive as a whine and started toward the building with a loping; almost bestial; gait。 It reached the door before Jude; stepping on its dead brother in its haste to be inside。 As she came within a couple of yards of the door she caught the scent that had set it whining。 A breeze…too warm for the season and carrying perfumes too strange for this world…came to meet her out of the chapel; and to her horror she realized that history was repeating itself。 The train between the Dominions was being boarded inside; and the wind she smelled was blowing along the track from its destination。
〃Oscar!〃 she yelled; stumbling over the body as she threw herself inside。
The travelers were already dispatched。 She saw them passing from view like Gentle and Pie 'oh1 pah; except that the voider; desperate to go with them; was pitching itself into the flux of passage。 She might have done the same; but that its error was evident。 Caught in the flux; but too late to be
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