jr.shapechangers-第15部分

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the　right　to　curse　Shaine；　because　you　behave　as　if　you　are　free　to　do　what　you　wish。　Duncan　would　have　me　see　you　are　men　like　any　other；　yet　you　behave　as　if　the　Cheysuli　tire　demons　with　no　understanding　of　what　you　do　to　others。〃
　〃You　need　learning；〃　he　said　bluntly。　〃When　we　have　reached　me　Keep　and　you　have　spoken　to　the　shar　tahl。　you　will　under…stand　better　what　it　is　to　be　Cheysuli。　You　will　understand　what　the　qu'mahlin　has　done。　Until　then　you　are　lost。〃
　〃Take　me　home；〃　she　said　softly。　〃Finn；　take　me　home。〃
　He　set　the　cup　down　and　looked　at　her　levelly。　〃I　do。*'
　Alix　ground　the　heels　of　her　hands　against　her　eyes；　feeling　the　grittiness　of　exhaustion　and　tension。　Her　desperation　was　growing；　swelling　up　inside　her　until　it　threatened　to　burst　her　chest　and　force　tears　from　her　eyes。　She　had　no　wish　to　cry　before　Finn　of　all　people；　and　the　sensation　of　futility　and　helplessness　hurt　so　bad　she　could　think　only　to　hurt　back。
　〃I　will　escape；〃　she　said　firmly。　〃When　I　have　the　time；　and　me　opportunity；　I　will　win　free　of　you。　Even　does　it　e　to　putting　a　knife　into　you。〃
　He　smiled。　〃You　could　not。〃
　〃I　could。〃
　〃You　have　neither　me　spirit　nor　the　strength　to　do　it。〃　…　
　Furious；　Alix　snatched　up　the　pot　of　bubbling　honey　drink　and　threw　it　at　him。　She　saw　the　contents　strike　his　upraised　arm　and　part　of　his　face；　then　she　was　on　her　feet　running。
　Finn　caught　her　before　she　reached　the　edge　of　the　firelight。　Alix　cried　out　as　he　caught　one　arm　and　twisted　it　behind　her　back。　Then　he　jerked　her　around　until　she　faced　him；　and　she　was　suddenly　terrified　as　he　bent　over　her。
　〃If　you　would　be　so　bold　as　to　do　that；　meijha；　and　yet　be　caught；　you　had　best　be　prepared　to　suffer　the　consequences。〃
　Alix　cried　out　again。　She　could　feel　his　breath　on　her　face；　the
　dampness　of　the　spilled　drink　as　it　stained　her　gown。　She　felt　her　Up　caught　in　his　teeth；　then　stumbled　back　as　Finn　was　jerked　away　from　her。
　Alix　gasped　in　pain　and　shock　as　Finn　came　off　the　ground；　hand　to　his　knife。　Then　he　froze；　staring　angrily　at　his　assailant。
　〃You　will　not　force　a　Cheysuli　woman；〃　Duncan　said　coldly。
　Finn　took　his　hand　from　his　knife。　〃She　may　have　our　blood；　Duncan；　but　she　has　been　reared　Homanan。　She　wants　humbling。　If　you　leave　her　to　me；　I　will　see　to　it　she　behaves　with　more　decorum。〃
　〃We　do　not　humble　our　women；　either；〃　Duncan　snapped。
　〃Leave　her　be。〃
　〃Why？〃　Finn　demanded；　all　affronted　male　pride。　〃So　yon　can　take　her？〃
　〃No。〃
　〃If　she　is　what　you　want　as　cheysula；　clan…leader；　then　you　had　best　follow　tradition　and　ask　for　her　clan…rights　in　Council。〃
　Duncan　smiled　thinly。　〃I　ask　no　clan…rights　of　any　woman　this　year；　ruifw。　But　if　you　are　so　hot　to　take　her；　you　should　hear　your　own　words。　She　is　no　light　woman；　Finn。　Ask　for　her　clan…rights；　when　she　has　been　proven　to　have　mem。〃
　Finn　glared　at　him。　〃I　have　no　need　of　formal　clan…rights　where　a　woman　is　concerned。　There　are　enough　to　be　had　without　taking　a　cheysula。〃
　〃Stop！〃　Alix　cried；　so　loudly　they　both　stared　at　her　in　surprise。　Self…consciously　she　swept　〃back　her　loose　hair　and　scowled　at　them。　〃I　know　nothing　of　these　traditions　you　speak　of；　or　clan…rights；　or　Council。。　or　anything1。　But　you　had　best　know　I　will　do　nothing　against　my　will！　You　may　have　forced　me　to　e　with　you　now；　but　there　will　be　a　time　when　you　do　not　watch　me；　and　I　will　get　free　of　you　all。　Do　you　hear？　You　cannot　keep　me！〃
　〃You　will　stay；〃　Duncan　said　calmly。　〃No　one　escapes　the　Cheysuli。〃
　Finn　smiled。　〃The　clan…leader　has　spoken；　mei　jha。　We　may　disagree；　my　rujho　and　I；　but　not　on　this。〃
　Alix　felt　me　tears　welling　in　her　eyes。　She　widened　them　instinctively；　trying　to　take　back　the　moisture；　but　the　first　tear　fell。　On　a　choked　sob　she　spun　and　ran　from　them；　wondering　what　animal　they　would　send　to　fetch　her　back。
　She　found　a　damp　mossy　area　beneath　a　huge　beech　tree　not　far　from　camp　and　sat　down　quickly；　loose…limbed　and　awkward。
　For　a　moment　she　gazed　blindly　at　the　shadows　and　wondered
　forlornly　if　she　would　ever　see　her　home　again。　Then　the　enor…
　mity　of　her　plight　crept　upon　her。　Alix　pulled　her　knees　to　her
　chest　and　hugged　them；　hiding　her　face　in　her　torn　and　stained　skirts。
　Liren；　said　a　gentle　voice；　so　empathetic　it　nearly　undid　her。
　Liren。
　Alix　turned　her　head　against　the　rough　weave　of　her　gown　and　saw　Storr　waiting　quietly　in　the　moonlight。　For　a　moment　resentment　replaced　her　grief；　then　it　faded。　She　knew；　somehow；　Slorr　had　e　on　his　own；　not　because　he　was　sent　to　take　her　back　to　camp。
　/　was　not　sent；　he　said。　/　came　because　you　are　in　pain；　and　in　need。
　〃You　speak　as　a　wise　old　man；〃　she　whispered。
　I　am　a　wise…old　wolf。　he　said；　sounding　amused。　But　there　is　not　so　much　difference；　for　all　that。
　Alix　smiled　at　him　and　put　out　a　hand。　Storr　moved　to　her　and　allowed　her　to　place　a　hand　on　his　head。　For　a　moment　she　was　stunned　at　what　she　did；　touching　a　wolf；　she　thought　silently。　But　Storr　was　patient　and　very　gentle；　and　she　did　not　fear　him。
　〃You　are　Finn's　ffr；〃　she　murmured。　〃How　can　you　be　so　wise　and　trustworthy　and　belong　to　Aun？〃
　Storr's　eyes　closed　as　she　ran　fingers　through　his　thick　pelt。　My　lir　is　not　always　so　hasty　and　unwise。　You　have　confused　him。
　〃I！〃
　He　saw　you　and　wanted　you。　Then　he　found　you　were　Cheysuli；　and　his　rujholla。　He　has　had　no　one　but　Duncan　for　too　long。
　〃Well；　he　will　not　have　me。〃
　You　must　take　someone。。。　someday。
　〃I　will　not　have　a　beast　like　him！〃
　Storr　sighed。　Remember；　what　name　you　give　him　fits　you　also。　You　are　Cheysuli。　It　may　seem　strange　now；　but　you　will　be　happier　among　us　than　elsewhere。
　〃I　would　sooner　go　home。　Home　home；　not　this　Keep。〃
　Even　knowing　you　are　not　like　others？
　〃Aye；　And　I　am　no　different。〃
　But　you　are。　Knowing　yourself　different　makes　you　different。
　Think　of　the　qu'mahlm。　The　Mujhar's　decree　applies　also　toyou。
　〃I　am　his　granddaughter。〃
　And　Cheysuli。　You　do　not　know　Shaine。　But　know　this＋if　your　kinship　to　him　were　more　important　than　your　race；　you　would　be　in　Homana…Mujhar。
　She　knew　he　was　right。　But　she　could　not　say　it；　even　when　he
　nudged　her　hand　and　went　away。　
　〃I　am　sorry　for　my　rujholli。〃　Duncan　moved　softly　out　of　the
　shadows。　〃You　must　not　give　credence　to　his　words。　All　too　often　Finn　speaks　without　thought。〃
　Alix　looked　at　him　and　wished　herself　as　far　from　Duncan　and　his　brother　as　could　be。　But　since　the　wish　did　not　work；　she　answered　him。
　〃You　arc　nothing　alike。〃
　〃We　are。　You　have　not　seen　it　yet。〃
　〃You　cannot　make　me　believe　you　are　as　angry；　or　as　cruel。〃　She　sighed　in　surrender　and　picked　at　the　moss。　〃Or　else　you　do　not　show　it。〃
　Duncan　squatted　before　her；　hands　hanging　loosely　over　his　knees。　〃Finn　was　but　three　when　the　qu'mahlin　began。　He　has　little　memory　of　the　peace　in　our　clan＋or　in　the　land＋before　it。　He　knows　only　the　darkness　and　blood　and　pain　of　Shaine's　war。〃
　〃What　of　you？〃
　He　stared　at　the　moss　she　was　destroying　with　rigid；　nervous　fingers。　〃I　was　five；〃　he　said　finally。　〃Like　him；　I　awoke　in　the　middle　of　the　night　when　our　pavilion　fell　under　me　hooves　of　Homanan　horses。　It　was　set　on　fire　even　though　the　Mujhar's　men　saw　we　were　only　children；　and　too　small　to　do　much　harm。　They　did　not　care。〃　He　caught　her　hand　suddenly；　stilling　it　as　if　its　movements　disturbed　him。　His　eyes　were　pale　in　Ac　moonlight。　〃You　must　understand。　We　were　small；　but　such　things　remain　clear。〃
　〃What　do　you　say？〃　she　whispered；　sensing　his　need　to　have　her　prehension。
　〃That　you　should　understand　why　he　plagues　you。　He　is　bitter
　toward　Shaine；　and　Homanans　in　general。　Carillon　is　the　Mujhar*s
　heir。〃　He　paused。　〃And　you　want　him。。。　not　Finn。'*
　〃But　if　your　story　is　true；　Finn　is　my　brother！〃
　Duncan　sighed。　〃You　were　raised　apart。　Why　should　he　not　desire　a　woman；　even　after　he　has　teamed　she　is　bloodkin　to　him？〃
　Alix　stared　at　him；　hand　still　caught　in　his。　The　stubborn　conflict　she　felt　rise　at　Finn's　name　faded　beneath　a　new＋and　more　frightening＋prehension。　She　saw　before　her　a　solemn…faced　warrior　who　seemed　to　be　waiting　fix　something　from　her。
　For　a　moment　she　nearly　rose　and　fled；　unable　to　face　die　conflict。　But　she　restrained　the　instinct。　There　was　the　faintest　whisper　of　knowledge　within　her　soul；　die　realization　of　a　power　she　had　never　thought　she　might　have；　and　it　astonished　her。
　〃Duncan。。。〃　she　said　softly；　〃what　is　this　tahlmorra　you　say　I　should　feel？〃
　〃You　will　know　it。〃
　〃How？〃
　〃You　will　know　it。〃
　〃And　do　you　say。。。　do　you　say　every　Cheysuli　has　this　tahlmorra'！〃
　〃It　is　something　that　binds　us　all；　as　tightly　as　the　prophecy。　But　it　has　weakened　in　many　of　us　because　so　many　of　us　have　been　lost　and　forced　to　take　Homanan　women　to　get　children。〃　His　mouth　twisted　into　a　wry　smile。　〃I　am　not　proud　of　that。　But　it　must　be　done；　if　we　are　to　survive。　But　there　are　some　of　us　who　feel　tahlmorra　more　clearly　than　others。〃　He　brought　her　hand　up；　smoothing　his　thumb　over　the　back　of　her　palm。　〃Mine　has　told　me　what　will　e。　When　we　reach　the　Keep　I　will　seek　out　the　shar　tahl　and　have　him　show　me　the　prophecy　runes　to　be　certain。　But　I　know　it　already。〃
　Alix　withdrew　her