rz.thegunsofavalon-第15部分

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　〃I　was　not　aware　of　this；〃　I　said。　〃Your　sources　of　information　seem　to　have　been　closer　to　the　heart　of　things　than　mine　were。〃
　He　only　nodded；　giving　rise　to　uneasy　speculations　on　my　part　as　to　his　contact　in　Amber。　For　all　I　knew；　he　could　be　pro…Eric　these　days。
　〃When　was　the　last　time　you　were　back　there　yourself？〃　I　ventured。
　〃A　little　over　twenty　years　ago；〃　he　replied；　〃but　I　keep　in　touch。〃
　Not　with　anyone　who　had　cared　to　mention　it　to　me！　He　must　have　known　that　as　he　said　it；　so　did　he　mean　me　to　take　it　as　a　caution　…　or　a　threat？　My　mind　raced。　Of　course　he　possessed　a　set　of　the　Major　Trumps。　I　fanned　them　mentally　and　went　through　them　like　mad。　Random　had　professed　ignorance　as　to　his　whereabouts。　Brand　had　been　missing　a　long　while。　I　had　had　indication　that　he　was　still　alive；　imprisoned　in　some　unpleasant　place　or　other　and　in　no　position　to　report　on　the　happenings　in　Amber。　Flora　could　not　have　been　his　contact；　as　she　had　been　in　virtual　exile　in　Shadow　herself　until　recently。　Llewella　was　in　Rebma。　Deirdre　was　in　Rebma　also；　and　had　been　out　of　favor　in　Amber　when　last　I　saw　her。　Fiona？　Julian　had　told　me　she　was　〃somewhere　to　the　south。〃　He　was　uncertain　as　to　precisely　where。　Who　did　that　leave？
　Eric　himself；　Julian；　Gerard；　or　Caine；　as　I　saw　it。　Scratch　Eric。　He　would　not　have　passed　along　the　details　of　Dad's　non…abdication　in　a　manner　that　would　allow　things　to　be　taken　as　Benedict　had　taken　them。　Julian　supported　Eric；　but　was　not　without　personal　ambitions　of　the　highest　order。　He　would　pass　along　information　if　it　might　benefit　him　to　do　so。　Ditto　for　Caine。　Gerard；　on　the　other　hand；　had　always　struck　me　as　more　interested　in　the　welfare　of　Amber　itself　than　in　the　question　of　who　sat　on　its　throne。　He　was　not　over…fond　of　Eric；　though；　and　had　once　been　willing　to　support　either　Bleys　or　myself　over　him。　I　believed　he　would　have　considered　Benedict's　awareness　of　events　to　be　something　in　the　nature　of　an　insurance　policy　for　the　realm。　Yes；　it　was　almost　certainly　one　of　these　three。　Julian　hated　me。　Caine　neither　liked　nor　disliked　me　especially；　and　Gerard　and　I　shared　fond　memories　that　went　all　the　way　back　to　my　childhood。　I　would　have　to　find　out　who　it　was；　quickly　…　and　he　was　not　yet　ready　to　tell　me；　of　course；　knowing　nothing　of　my　present　motives。　A　liaison　with　Amber　could　be　used　to　hurt　me　or　benefit　me　in　short　order；　depending　upon　his　desire　and　the　person　on　the　other　end。　It　was　therefore　both　sword　and　shield　to　him；　and　I　was　somewhat　hurt　that　he　had　chosen　to　display　these　accoutrements　so　quickly。　I　chose　to　take　it　that　his　recent　injury　had　served　to　make　him　abnormally　wary；　for　I　had　certainly　never　given　him　cause　for　distress。　Still；　this　caused　me　to　feel　abnormally　wary　also；　a　sad　thing　to　know　when　meeting　one's　brother　again　for　the　first　time　in　many　years。
　〃It　is　interesting；〃　I　said；　swirling　the　wine　within　my　cup。　〃In　this　light；　then；　it　appears　that　everyone　may　have　acted　prematurely。〃
　〃Not　everyone；〃　he　said。
　I　felt　my　face　redden。
　〃Your；　pardon；〃　I　said。
　He　nodded　curtly。
　〃Please　continue　your　telling。〃
　〃Well；　to　continue　my　chain　of　assumptions；〃　I　said；　〃when　Eric　decided　that　the　throne　had　been　vacant　long　enough　and　the　time　had　e　to　make　his　move；　he　must　also　have　decided　that　my　amnesia　was　not　sufficient　and　that　it　would　be　better　to　see　my　claim　quitted　entirely。　At　this　time；　he　arranged　for　me　to　have　an　accident　off　on　that　shadow　Earth；　an　accident　which　should　have　proven　fatal　but　did　not。〃
　〃How　do　you　know　this？　How　much　of　it　is　guesswork？〃
　〃Flora　as　much　as　admitted　it　to　me　…　including　her　own　plicity　in　the　thing　…　when　I　questioned　her　later。〃
　〃Very　interesting。　Go　on。〃
　〃The　bash　on　my　head　provided　what　even　Sigmund　Freud　had　been　unable　to　obtain　for　me　earlier；〃　I　said。　〃There　returned　to　me　small　recollections　that　grew　stronger　and　stronger　…　especially　after　I　encountered　Flora　and　was　exposed　to　all　manner　of　things　that　stimulated　my　memory。　I　was　able　to　convince　her　that　it　had　fully　returned；　so　her　speech　was　open　as　to　people　and　things。　Then　Random　showed　up；　fleeing　from　something　…〃
　〃Fleeing？　From　what？　Why？〃
　〃From　some　strange　creatures　out　of　Shadow。　I　never　found　out　why。〃
　〃Interesting；〃　he　said；　and　I　had　to　agree。　I　had　thought　of　it　often；　back　in　my　cell；　wondering　just　why　Random　had　entered；　stage　left；　pursued　by　Furies；　in　the　first　place。　From　the　moment　we　met　until　the　moment　we　parted；　we　had　been　in　some　sort　of　peril；　I　had　been　preoccupied　with　my　own　troubles　and　he　had　volunteered　nothing　concerning　his　abrupt　appearance。　It　had　crossed　my　mind；　of　course；　at　the　time　of　his　arrival；　but　I　was　uncertain　as　to　whether　it　was　something　of　which　I　might　be　expected　to　have　knowledge；　and　I　let　it　go　at　that。　Events　then　submerged　it　until　later　in　my　cell　and　again　the　present　moment。　Interesting？　Indeed。　Also；　troubling。
　〃I　managed　to　take　in　Random　as　to　my　condition；〃　I　continued。　〃He　believed　I　was　seeking　the　throne；　when　all　that　I　was　consciously　seeking　was　my　memory。　He　agreed　to　help　me　return　to　Amber；　and　he　succeeded　in　getting　me　back。　Well；　almost；〃　I　corrected。　〃We　wound　up　in　Rebma。　By　then；　I　had　told　Random　my　true　condition；　and　he　proposed　my　walking　the　Pattern　again　as　a　means　of　restoring　it　fully。　The　opportunity　was　there；　and　I　took　it。　It　proved　effective；　and　I　used　the　power　of　the　Pattern　to　transport　myself　into　Amber。〃　He　smiled。
　〃At　this　point。　Random　must　have　been　a　very　unhappy　man；〃　he　said。
　〃He　was　not　exactly　singing　with　glee；〃　I　said。　〃He　had　accepted　Moire's　judgment；　that　he　wed　a　woman　of　her　choosing　…　a　blind　girl　named　Vialle　…　and　remain　there　with　her　for　at　least　a　year。　I　left　him　behind；　and　I　later　learned　that　he　had　done　this　thing。　Deirdre　was　also　there。　We　had　encountered　her　along　the　way；　in　flight　from　Amber；　and　the　three　of　us　had　entered　Rebma　together。　She　remained　behind；　also。〃
　I　finished　my　wine　and　Benedict　nodded　toward　the　bottle。　It　was　almost　empty；　though；　so　he　fetched　a　fresh　bottle　from　his　chest　and　we　filled　our　cups。　I　took　a　long　swallow。　It　was　better　wine　than　the　previous。　Must　have　been　his　private　stock。
　〃In　the　palace；〃　I　went　on；　〃I　made　my　way　to　the　library；　where　I　obtained　a　pack　of　the　Tarots。　This　was　my　main　reason　for　venturing　there。　I　was　surprised　by　Eric　before　I　could　do　much　else　and　we　fought；　there　in　the　library。　I　succeeded　in　wounding　him　and　believe　I　could　have　finished　him；　save　that　reinforcements　arrived　and　I　was　forced　to　flee。　I　contacted　Bleys　then；　who　gave　me　passage　to　him　in　Shadow。　You　may　have　heard　the　rest　from　your　own　sources。　How　Bleys　and　I　threw　in　together；　assaulted　Amber；　lost。　He　fell　from　the　face　of　Kolvir。　I　tossed　him　my　Tarots　and　he　caught　them。　I　understand　that　his　body　was　never　found。　But　it　was　a　long　way　down　…　though　I　believe　the　tide　was　high　by　then。　I　do　not　know　whether　he　died　that　day　or　not。〃
　〃Neither　do　I；〃　said　Benedict。
　〃So　I　was　imprisoned　and　Eric　was　crowned。　I　was　prevailed　upon　to　assist　in　the　coronation；　despite　a　small　demurrer　on　my　part。　I　did　succeed　in　crowning　myself　before　that　bastard　…　genealogically　speaking　…　had　it　back　and　placed　it　on　his　own　head。　Then　he　had　me　blinded　and　sent　to　the　dungeons。〃
　He　leaned　forward　and　studied　my　face。　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃I　had　heard　that。　How　was　it　done？〃
　〃Hot　irons；〃　I　said；　wincing　involuntarily　and　repressing　an　impulse　to　clutch　at　my　eyes。　〃I　passed　out　partway　through　the　ordeal。〃
　〃Was　there　actual　contact　with　the　eyeballs？〃
　〃Yes〃　I　said。　〃I　think　so。〃
　〃And　how　long　did　the　regeneration　take？〃
　〃It　was　close　to　four　years　before　I　could　see　again；〃　I　said；　〃and　my　vision　is　just　getting　back　to　normal　now。　So　…　about　five　years　altogether；　I　would　say。〃
　He　leaned　back；　sighed；　and　smiled　faintly。
　〃Good；〃　he　said。　〃You　give　me　some　small　hope。　Others　of　us　have　lost　portions　of　their　anatomy　and　experienced　regeneration　also；　of　course；　but　I　never　lost　anything　significant　…　until　now。〃
　〃Oh　yes；〃　I　said。　〃It　is　a　most　impressive　record。　I　reviewed　it　regularly　for　years。　A　collection　of　bits　and　pieces；　many　of　them　forgotten　I　daresay；　but　by　the　principals　and　myself：　fingertips；　toes；　ear　lobes。　I　would　say　that　there　is　hope　for　your　arm。　Not　for　a　long　while；　of　course。
　〃It　is　a　good　thing　that　you　are　ambidextrous；〃　I　added。
　His　smile　went　on　and　off　and　he　took　a　drink　of　wine。　No；　he　was　not　ready　to　tell　me　what　had　happened　to　him。
　I　took　another　sip　of　my　own。　I　did　not　want　to　tell　him　about　Dworkin。　I　had　wanted　to　save　Dworkin　as　something　of　an　ace　in　the　hole。　None　of　us　understood　the　man's　full　power；　and　he　was　obviously　mad。　But　he　could　be　manipulated。　Even　Dad　had　apparently　e　to　fear　him　after　a　time；　and　had　had　him　locked　away。　What　was　it　that　he　had　told　me　back　in　my　cell？　That　Dad　had　had　him　confined　after　he　had　announced　his　discovery　of　a　means　for　destroying　all　of　Amber。　If　this　was　not　just　the　rambling　of　a　psychotic　and　was　the　real　reason　for　his　being　where　he　was；　then　Dad　had　been　far　more　generous　that　I　would　have　been。　The　man　was