rz.thegunsofavalon-第24部分

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ll　wanted。　If　he　had　changed　his　mind；　well　…　I　even　envied　him　the　prospect　of　outlawry　in　Avalon。　I　would　have　liked　to　remain　longer；　to　ride　with　Dara　in　the　hills；　tramp　about　the　countryside；　sail　upon　the　rivers。。。
　I　thought　about　the　girl。　The　knowledge　of　her　existence　changed　things　somewhat。　I　was　not　certain　how。　Despite　our　major　hatreds　and　petty　animosities；　we　Amberites　are　a　very　family…conscious　bunch；　always　eager　for　news　of　one　another；　desirous　to　know　everyone's　position　in　the　changing　picture。　A　pause　for　gossip　has　doubtless　stayed　a　few　death　blows　among　us。　I　sometimes　think　of　us　as　a　gang　of　mean　little　old　ladies　in　a　bination　rest　home　and　obstacle　course。
　I　could　not　fit　Dara　into　things　yet　because　she　did　not　know　where　she　fit　herself。　Oh；　she　would　learn　eventually。　She　would　receive　superb　tutelage　once　her　existence　became　known。　Now　that　I　had　brought　her　awareness　of　her　uniqueness　it　would　only　be　a　matter　of　time　before　this　occurred　and　she　joined　in　the　games。　I　had　felt　somewhat　serpent…like　at　points　during　our　conversation　in　the　grove　…　but　hell；　she　had　a　right　to　know。　She　was　bound　to　find　out　sooner　or　later；　and　the　sooner　she　did　the　sooner　she　could　start　shoring　up　her　defenses。　It　was　for　her　own　benefit。
　Of　course；　it　was　possible　…　even　likely　…　that　her　mother　and　grandmother　had　lived　their　lives　in　ignorance　of　their　heritage。。。
　And　where　had　it　gotten　them？　They　died　violently；　she　had　said。
　Was　it　possible；　I　wondered；　that　the　long　arm　of　Amber　had　reached　for　them　out　of　Shadow？　And　that　it　might　strike　again？
　Benedict　could　be　as　tough　and　mean　and　nasty　as　any　of　us　when　he　wanted　to　be。　Tougher；　even。　He　would　fight　to　protect　his　own；　doubtless　even　kill　one　of　us　if　he　thought　it　necessary。　He　must　have　assumed　that　keeping　her　existence　a　secret　and　keeping　her　ignorant　would　protect　her。　He　would　be　angry　with　me　when　he　found　out　what　I　had　done；　which　was　another　reason　for　clearing　out　in　a　hurry。　But　I　had　not　told　her　what　I　had　out　of　sheer　perverseness。　I　wanted　her　to　survive；　and　I　did　not　feel　he　was　handling　things　properly。　When　I　returned；　she　would　have　had　time　to　think　things　over。　She　would　have　many　questions　and　I　would　seize　the　opportunity　to　caution　her　at　length　and　to　give　specifics。
　I　gnashed　my　teeth。
　None　of　this　should　be　necessary。　When　I　ruled　in　Amber；　things　would　be　different。　They　had　to　be。。。
　Why　had　no　one　ever　e　up　with　a　way　to　change　the　basic　nature　of　man？　Even　the　erasure　of　all　my　memories　and　a　new　life　in　a　new　world　had　resulted　in　the　same　old　Corwin。　If　I　were　not　happy　with　what　I　was　it　could　be　a　proposition　worthy　of　despair。
　In　a　quiet　part　of　the　river；　I　washed　away　the　dust；　the　sweat；　wondering　the　while　about　the　black　road　which　had　so　injured　my　brothers。　There　were　many　things　that　I　needed　to　know。
　As　I　bathed；　Grayswandir　was　never　far　from　my　hand。　One　of　us　is　capable　of　tracking　another　through　Shadow；　when　the　trail　is　still　warm。　As　it　was；　my　bath　was　undisturbed；　though　I　used　Grayswandir　three　times　on　the　way　back；　on　less　mundane　things　than　brothers。
　But　this　was　to　be　expected；　as　I　had　accelerated　the　pace　considerably。。。
　
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　It　was　still　dark；　though　dawn　was　not　too　far　away；　when　I　entered　the　stables　at　my　brother's　manor。　I　tended　Star；　who　had　grown　somewhat　wild；　talking　to　him　and　soothing　him　as　I　rubbed　him　down；　then　putting　out　a　good　supply　of　food　and　water。　Ganelon's　Firedrake　greeted　me　from　the　opposite　stall。　I　cleaned　up　at　the　pump　to　the　rear　of　the　stable；　trying　to　decide　where　I　was　going　to　catch　a　little　sleep。
　I　needed　some　rest。　A　few　hours'　worth　would　hold　me　for　a　time；　but　I　refused　to　take　them　beneath　Benedict's　roof。　I　would　not　be　taken　that　easily；　and　while　I　had　often　said　that　I　wanted　to　die　in　bed；　what　I　really　meant　was　that　in　my　old　age　I　wanted　to　be　stepped　on　by　an　elephant　while　making　love。
　I　was　not　averse　to　drinking　his　booze；　though；　and　I　wanted　a　belt　of　something　strong。　The　manor　was　dark；　I　entered　quietly　and　I　found　the　sideboard。
　I　poured　a　stiff　one；　tossed　it　off；　poured　another；　and　carried　it　to　the　window。　I　could　see　for　a　great　distance。　The　manor　stood　on　a　hillside　and　Benedict　had　landscaped　the　place　well。
　〃'White　in　the　moon　the　long　road　lies；'〃　I　recited；　surprised　at　the　sound　of　my　own　voice。　〃'The　moon　stands　blank　above。。。'〃
　〃So　it　does。　So　it　does；　Corwin　my　lad；〃　I　heard　Ganelon　say。
　〃I　didn't　see　you　sitting　there；〃　I　said　softly；　not　turning　from　the　window。
　〃That's　because　I'm　sitting　so　still；〃　he　said。
　〃Oh；〃　I　said。　〃How　drunk　are　you？〃
　〃Hardly　at　all；〃　he　said；　〃now。　But　if　you　would　care　to　be　a　good　fellow　and　fetch　me　a　drink。。。〃
　I　turned。
　〃Why　can't　you　get　your　own？〃
　〃It　hurts　to　move。〃
　〃All　right。〃
　I　went　and　poured　him　one；　carried　it　to　him。　He　raised　it　slowly；　nodded　his　thanks；　took　a　sip。
　〃Ah；　that's　good！〃　he　sighed。　〃May　it　numb　things　a　bit。〃
　〃You　were　in　a　fight；〃　I　decided。
　〃Aye；〃　he　said。　〃Several。〃
　〃Then　bear　your　wounds　like　a　good　trooper　and　let　me　save　my　sympathy。〃
　〃But　I　won！〃
　〃God！　Where　did　you　leave　the　bodies？〃
　〃Oh；　they　are　not　that　bad　off。　'Twas　a　girl　did　this　to　me。〃
　〃Then　I'd　say　you　got　your　money's　worth。〃
　〃'Twas　not　that　sort　of　thing　at　all。　I　believe　I've　embarrassed　us。〃
　〃Us？　How？〃
　〃I　did　not　know　she　was　the　lady　of　the　house。　I　came　in　feeling　jolly；　and　I　thought　her　some　serving　wench。。。〃
　〃Dara？〃　I　said；　tensing。
　〃Aye；　the　same。　I　slapped　her　on　the　rump　and　went　for　a　kiss　or　two　…〃　He　groaned。　〃Then　she　picked　me　up。　She　raised　me　off　the　ground　and　held　me　up　over　her　head。　Then　she　told　me　she　was　the　lady　of　the　house。　Then　she　let　me　fall。。。　I'm　eighteen　stone　if　I'm　a　pebble；　man；　and　it　was　a　long　way　down。〃　He　took　another　drink；　and　I　chuckled。
　〃She　laughed；　too；〃　he　said　ruefully。　〃She　helped　me　up　then　and　was　not　unkind；　and　of　course　I　apologized。　That　brother　of　yours　must　be　quite　a　man。　I　never　met　a　girl　that　strong。　The　things　she　could　do　to　a　man。。。〃　There　was　awe　in　his　voice。　He　shook　his　head　slowly　and　tossed　back　the　rest　of　his　drink。　〃It　was　frightening　…　not　to　mention　embarrassing；〃　he　concluded。
　〃She　accepted　your　apology？〃
　〃Oh；　yes。　She　was　quite　gracious　about　the　whole　thing。　She　told　me　to　forget　all　about　it；　and　said　that　she　would；　too。〃
　〃Then　why　are　you　not　in　bed　sleeping　it　off？〃
　〃I　was　waiting　up；　in　case　you　came　in　at　an　odd　hour。　I　wanted　to　catch　you　right　away。〃
　〃Well；　you　have。〃
　He　rose　slowly　and　picked　up　his　glass。
　〃Let's　go　outside；〃　he　said。
　〃Good　idea。〃
　He　picked　up　the　brandy　decanter　on　the　way　out；　which　I　also　thought　was　a　good　idea；　and　we　followed　a　path　through　the　garden　behind　the　house。　Finally；　he　heaved　himself　onto　an　old　stone　bench　at　the　foot　of　a　large　oak　tree；　where　he　refilled　both　our　glasses　and　took　a　drink　from　his　own。
　〃Ah！　He　has　good　taste　in　liquor；　too；　your　brother；〃　be　said。
　I　seated　myself　beside　him　and　filled　my　pipe。
　〃After　I　told　her　I　was　sorry　and　introduced　myself；　we　got　to　talking　for　a　time；〃　he　said。　〃As　soon　as　she　learned　I　was　with　you；　she　wanted　to　know　all　sorts　of　things　about　Amber　and　shadows　and　you　and　the　rest　of　your　family。〃
　〃Did　you　tell　her　anything？〃　I　said；　striking　a　light。
　〃Couldn't　have　if　I　wanted　to；〃　he　said。　〃I　had　none　of　the　answers。〃
　〃Good。〃
　〃It　got　me　to　thinking；　though。　I　do　not　believe　Benedict　tells　her　too　much；　and　I　can　see　why。　I　would　be　careful　what　I　say　around　her；　Corwin。　She　seems　over…curious。〃
　I　nodded；　puffing。
　〃There　is　a　reason　for　it；〃　I　said。　〃A　very　good　reason。　I　am　glad　to　know；　though；　that　you　keep　your　wits　about　you　even　when　you　have　been　drinking。　Thanks　for　telling　me。〃
　He　shrugged　and　took　a　drink。
　〃A　good　bashing　is　a　sobering　thing。　Also；　your　welfare　is　my　welfare。〃
　〃True。　Does　this　version　of　Avalon　meet　with　your　approval？〃
　〃Version？　It　is　my　Avalon；〃　he　said。　〃A　new　generation　of　people　is　in　the　land；　but　it　is　the　same　place。　I　visited　the　Field　of　Thorns　today；　where　I　put　down　Jack　Hailey's　bunch　in　your　service。　It　was　the　same　place。〃
　〃The　Field　of　Thorns。。。〃　I　said；　remembering。
　〃Yes；　this　is　my　Avalon；〃　he　continued；　〃and　I'll　be　ing　back　here　for　my　old　age；　if　we　live　trough　Amber。〃
　〃You　still　want　to　e　along？〃
　〃All　my　life　I've　wanted　to　see　Amber　…　well；　since　I　first　heard　of　it。　That　was　from　you；　in　happier　times。〃
　〃I　do　not　really　remember　what　I　said。　It　must　have　been　a　good　telling。〃
　〃We　were　both　wonderfully　drunk　that　night；　and　it　seemed　but　a　brief　while　that　you　talked　…　weeping　some　of　the　time　…　telling　me　of　the　mighty　mountain　Kolvir　and　the　green　and　golden　spires　of　the　city；　of　the　promenades；　the　decks；　the　terraces；　the　flowers；　the　fountains。。。　It　seemed　but　a　brief　while；　but　it　was　most　of　the　night　for　before　we　staggered　off　to　bed　the　morning　had　begun。　God！　I　could　almost　draw　you　a　map　of　the　place！　I　must　see　it　before　I　die。〃
　〃I　do　not　remember　that　night；〃　I　said　slowly。　〃I　must　have　been　very；　very　drunk。〃
　He　chuckled。
　〃We　had　som