alistairmaclean.bearisland-第54部分

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me　to　be　gone？〃
　〃This　wine　shop　on　the　far　shore？〃
　〃Not　even　that。〃　He　shook　his　head　mournfully。　〃No　weling　arms　in　paradise　for　the　lost　Lonnies　of　this　world。　Haven't　the　right　entry　qualifications；　my　boy。〃　He　smiled　and　his　eyes　were　sad。　〃I'll　pin　my　hopes　on　a　small　four…ale　bar　in　purgatory。〃
　He　lapsed　into　silence；　his　eyes　closed　and　I　thought　he　was　drifting　off。　into　sleep。　But　he　presently　stirred；　cleared　his　throat　and　said　apparently　apropos　of　nothing：　〃It's　always　too　late。　Always。〃
　〃What's　always　too　late；　Lonnie？〃
　〃passion　is；　or　understanding　or　forgiveness。　I　fear　that　Lonnie　Gilbert　has　been　less　than　he　should　have　been。　But　it's　always　too　late。
　Too　late　to　say　I　like　you　or　I　love　you　or　how　nice　you　are　or　I　forgive　you。　If　only；　if　only；　if　only。　It　is　difficult　to　make　your　peace　with　someone　if　you're　looking　at　that　person　and　he's　lying　there　dead。　My；　my；　my。〃　As　if　with　an　immense　effort　he　pushed　himself　to　his　feel？。　〃But　there's　still　a　little　shred　of　something　that　can　be　saved。　Lonnie　Gilbert　is　now　about　to　go　and　do　something　that　he　should　have　done　many；　many　years　ago。
　But　first　I　must　arm　myself；　some　life　in　the　ancient　bones；　some　clarity　in　the　faded　mind；　in　short　prepare　myself　for　what　I'm　ashamed　to　say　I　still　regard　as　the　ordeal　that　lies　ahead。　In　brief；　my　dear　fellow；　where's　the　Scotch？〃
　〃I'm　afraid　Otto　has　taken　it　with　him。〃
　〃A　kind　fellow；　Otto；　none　kinder；　but　be　has　his　parsimonious　side　to　him。　But　no　matter；　the　main　source　of　supply　is　less　than　a　Sunday's　march　away。〃　He　made　for　the　outer　door　but　I　stopped　him。
　〃One　of　those　times；　Lonnie；　you're　going　to　go　out　there；　sit　down　there；　go　to　sleep　and　not　e　back　again　because　you'll　be　frozen　to　death；　Besides；　there's　no　need。　There's　some　in　my　cubicle。　Same　source　of　supply；　I　assure　you。　I'll　fetch　it。　just　keep　your　eye　open　in　my　absence；　will　you？〃
　It　didn't　matter　very　much　whether　he　kept　his　eyes　open　or　Dot　for　I　was　back　inside　twenty　seconds。　Smithy；　clearly；　was　a　heavier　sleeper　than　I　was　for　he　didn't　stir　during　my　brief　visit。
　Lonnie　helped　himself　copiously；　drained　his　glass　in　a　few　gulps；　gazed　at　the　bottle　longingly　then　set　it　firmly　aside。　〃Duty　pleted；　I　shall　return　and　enjoy　this　at　my　leisure。　Meantime；　I　am　sufficiently　fortified。〃
　〃Where　are　you　going？〃　It　was　difficult　to　imagine　what　pressing　task　he　had　on　hand　at　that　time　of　the　night。
　〃I　am　in　great　debt　to　Miss　Haynes。　It　is　my　wish…〃
　〃To　Judith　Haynes？〃　I　know　I　stared　at　him。　It　was　my　understanding　that　you　could　with　but　difficulty　look　at　her。〃
　In　great　debt；〃　he　said　firmly。　〃It　is　my　wish　to　discharge　it；　to　clear　the　books；　you　might　say。　You　understand；〃
　〃No。　What　I　do　understand　is　that　it's　only　three　forty…five。　If　this　business　has　been　outstanding；　as　you　said；　for　so　many　years；　surely　it　can　wait　just　another　few　hours。　Besides；　Miss　Haynes　has　been　sick　and　shocked　and　she's　under　sedatives。　As　her　doctor；　and　whether　she　likes　it　or　not；　I　am　her　doctor；　I　can't　permit　it。〃
　〃And　as　a　doctor；　my　dear　fellow；　you　should　understand　the　necessity　for　immediacy。　I　have　worked　myself　up　to　this；　screwed　myself；　as　it　were；　to　the　sticking　point。　Another　few　hours；　as　you　say；　and　it　may　be　too　late。　The　Lonnie　Gilbert　you　see　before　you　will　almost　certainly　have　reverted　to　the　bad　old；　cowardly　old；　selfish　old；　clay…souled　Lonnie　of　yore；　the　Lonnie　we　all　know　so　well。　And　then　it　will　always　be　too　late。〃
　He　paused　and　switched　his　argument。　〃Sedatives；　you　say。　How　long　do　the　effects　of　those　last？〃
　〃Varies　from　person　to　person。　Four　hours；　six　hours；　maybe　as　much　as　eight。〃
　〃Well；　there　you　are；　then。　Poor　girl's　probably　been　lying　awake　for　hours；　just　longing　for　some　pany　although　not；　in　all　likelihood；　that　of　Lonnie　Gilbert。　Or　has　it　escaped　your　attention　that　close　on　twelve　hours　have　elapsed　since　you　administered　that　sedative？〃
　It　had。　But　what　had　not　escaped　my　attention　was　that　Lonnie's　relationship　vis…a…vis　Judith　Haynes　had　been　intriguing　me　considerably　for　some　time。　It　might；　I　thought；　be　very　helpful　and；　with　regards　to　a　deeper　penetration　of　the　fog　of　mystery　surrounding　us；　more　than　a　little　constructive　if　I　could　learn　something　of　the　burden　of　what　Lonnie　had　in　mind　to　say　to　Judith　Haynes。　I　said：　〃Let　me　go　and　see　her。　If　she's　awake　and　I　think　she's　fit　to　talk；　then　OK。〃
　He　nodded。　I　went　to　Judith　Haynes's　room　and　entered　without　knocking。　The　oil　lamp　was　turned　up　and　she　was　awake；　stretched　out　under　the　covers　with　only　her　face　showing。　She　looked　ghastly；　which　was　the　way　I　had　expected　her　to　look；　with　the　Titian　hair　emphasising　the　drawn　pallor　of　her　face。　The　usually　striking　green　eyes　were　glazed　and　lacklustre　and　her　cheeks　were　smudged　and　streaked　with　tears。　She　looked　at　me　indifferently　as　I　pulled　up　a　stool；　then　looked　as　indifferently　away。
　〃I　hope　you　slept　well；　Miss　Haynes；〃　I　said。　〃How　are　you　feeling？〃
　〃Do　you　usually　e　calling　on　patients　in　the　middle　of　the　night？〃
　Her　voice　was　as　dull　as　her　eyes。
　〃I　don't　make　a　practice　of　it。　But　we're　taking　turns　keeping　watch　tonight；　and　this　happens　to　be　my　turn。　Is　there　anything　that　you　want？〃
　〃No。　Have　you　found　out　who　killed　my　husband？〃　She　was　so　preternaturally　calm；　under　such　seemingly　iron　control；　that　I　suspected　it　to　be　the　prelude　to　another　uncontrollable　hysterical　outburst。
　〃No。　Am　I　to　take　it　from　that；　Miss　Haynes；　that　you　no　longer　think　that　young　Allen　did？〃
　I　don't　think　so。　I've　been　lying　here　for　hours；　just　thinking；　and　I　don't　think　so。〃　From　the　lifeless　voice　and　the　lifeless　face　I　was　pretty　sure　she　was　still　under　the　influence　of　the　sedative。　〃You　will　get　him；　won't　you？　The　man　who　killed　Michael。　Michael　wasn't　as　bad　as　people　thought；　Dr。　Marlowe；　no　he　really　wasn't。〃　For　the　first　time　a　trace　of　expression；　just　the　weary　suggestion　of　a　smile。　I　don't　say　he　was　a　kind　man　or　a　good　one　or　a　gentle　one；　for　he　wasn't：　but　he　was　the　man　for　me。〃
　〃I　know；〃　I　said；　as　if　I　understood；　which　I　only　partially　did。　〃I　hope　we　get　the　man　responsible。　I　think　we　will。　Do　you　have　any　ideas　that　could　help？〃
　〃My　ideas　are　not　worth　much；　Doctor。　My　mind　doesn't　seem　to　be　very　clear。〃
　〃Do　you　think　you　could　talk　for　a　bit；　Miss　Haynes？　It　wouldn't　be　too　tiring？〃
　I　am　talking。〃
　〃Not　to　me。　To　Lonnie　Gilbert。　He　seems　terribly　anxious　to　speak　to　you。
　〃Speak　to　me？〃　Tired　surprise　but　not　outright　rejection　of　the　idea。
　〃Why　should　Lonnie　Gilbert　wish　to　speak　to　me？〃
　I　don't　know。　Lonnie　doesn't　believe　in　confiding　in　doctors。　All　I　gather　is　that　he　feels　that　he's　done　you　some　great　wrong　and　he　wants　to　say　〃sorry；〃　I　think。〃
　〃Lonnie　say　〃sorry〃　to　me！〃　Astonishment　had　driven　the　flat　hopelessness　from　her　voice。　〃Apologise　to　me？　No；　not　to　me。〃　She　was　silent　for　a　bit；　then　she　said：　〃Yes；　I'd　very　much　like　to　see　him　now。〃
　I　concealed　my　own　astonishment　as　best　I　could；　went　back　to　the　main　cabin；　told　an　equally　astonished　Lonnie　that　Judith　Haynes　was　more　than　prepared　to　meet　him　and　watched　him　as　he　went　along　the　passage；　entered　her　room　and　closed　the　door　behind　him。　I　glanced　at　Luke。　He　appeared；　if　anything；　to　be　more　soundly　asleep　than　ever；　absurdly　young　to　be　in　this　situation；　a　pleased　smile　on　his　face：　he　was　probably　dreaming　of　golden　discs。　I　walked　quietly　along　the　passage　to　Judith　Haynes's　room：　there　was　nothing　in　the　Hippocratic　oath　against　doctors　listening　at　dosed　doors。
　It　was　clear　that　I　was　going　to　have　to　listen　very　closely　indeed　for　although　the　door　was　only　made　of　bonded　ply；　the　voices　in　the　room　were　being　kept　low　and　I　could　hear　little　more　than　a　confused　murmur。　I　dropped　to　my　knees　and　applied　my　car　to　the　keyhole。　The　audibility　factor　improved　quite　remarkably。
　〃You！〃　Judith　Haynes　said。　There　was　a　catch　in　her　voice；　I　wouldn't　have　believed　her　capable　of　any；　of　the　more　kindly　emotions。　〃You！　To　apologise　to　me！　Of　all　people；　you！〃
　〃Me；　my　dear；　me。　All　those　years；　all　those　years。〃　His　voice　fell　away　and　I　couldn't　catch　his　next　few　words。　Then　he　said：　〃Despicable；　despicable。　For　any　man　to　go　through　life；　nurturing　the　animosity；　nay；　my　dear；　the　hatred…〃　He　broke　off。　and　there　was　silence　for　some　moments。　He　went　on：　〃No　forgiveness；　no　forgiveness。　I　know　he　can't！　I　know　he　couldn't　have　been　so　bad；　or　even　really　bad　at　all；　you　loved　him　and　no　one　can　love　a　person　who　is　bad　all　through；　but　even　if　his　sins　had　been　black　as　the　midnight　shades…'
　〃Lonnie！〃　The　interruption　was　sharp；　even　forceful。　I　know　I　wasn't　married　to　any　angel；　but　I　wasn't　married　to　any　devil；　either。〃
　I　know　that；　my　dear；　I　know　that。　I　was　merely　saying…〃
　〃Will　you　listen〃　Lonnie；　Michael　wasn't　in　that　car　that　night。　Michael　was　never　near　that　car。〃
　I　strained　for　the　answer　but　none　came。　Judith　Haynes　went　on：　〃Neither　was　I；　Lonnie。〃
　There　was　a　prolonged　silence；　then　Lonnie　said　in　a　voice　so　low　that　it　was　a　barely　heard　whisper：　〃That's　not　what　I　was　told。〃
　〃Tra　sure　it　wasn't；　Unnic。　lly　car；　yes。　But