rh.theassassinsapprentice-第22部分

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little　world　of　straw　and　siblings　and　milk　and　mother。　At　that　moment　I　could　imagine　no　better　one。
　　　　　　　Then　Burrich　and　I　went　up　to　eat。　He　took　me　into　the　soldiers'　mess；　where　manners　were　whatever　you　had　and　no　one　demanded　talk。　It　was　forting　to　be　casually　ignored；　to　have　food　passed　over　my　head　with　no　one　being　solicitous　of　me。　Burrich　saw　that　I　ate；　though；　and　then　afterward　we　sat　outside　beside　the　kitchen's　back　door　and　drank。　I'd　had　ale　and　beer　and　wine　before；　but　I　had　never　drunk　in　the　purposeful　way　that　Burrich　now　showed　me。　When　Cook　dared　to　e　out　and　scold　him　for　giving　strong　spirits　to　a　mere　boy；　he　gave　her　one　of　his　quiet　stares　that　reminded　me　of　the　first　night　I　had　met　him；　when　he'd　faced　down　a　whole　room　of　soldiers　over　Chivalry's　good　name。　And　she　left。
　　　　　　　He　walked　me　up　to　my　room　himself；　dragged　my　tunic　off　over　my　head　as　I　stood　unsteadily　beside　my　bed；　and　then　casually　tumbled　me　into　the　bed　and　tossed　a　blanket　over　me。　〃Now　you'll　sleep；〃　he　informed　me　in　a　thick　voice。　〃And　tomorrow　we'll　do　the　same　again。　And　again。　Until　one　day　you　get　up　and　find　out　that　whatever　it　was　didn't　kill　you　after　all。〃
　　　　　　　He　blew　out　my　candle　and　left。　My　head　reeled　and　my　body　ached　from　the　day's　work。　But　I　still　didn't　sleep。　What　I　found　myself　doing　was　crying。　The　drink　had　loosened　whatever　knot　held　my　control；　and　I　wept。　Not　quietly。　I　sobbed；　and　hiccuped　and　then　wailed　with　my　jaw　shaking。　My　throat　closed　up；　my　nose　ran；　and　I　cried　so　hard　I　felt　I　couldn't　breathe。　I　think　I　cried　every　tear　I　had　never　shed　since　the　day　my　grandfather　forced　my　mother　to　abandon　me。　〃Mere！〃　I　heard　myself　call　out；　and　suddenly　there　were　arms　around　me；　holding　me　tight。
　　　　　　　Chade　held　me　and　rocked　me　as　if　I　were　a　much　younger　child。　Even　in　the　darkness　I　knew　those　bony　arms　and　the　herb…and…dust　smell　of　him。　Disbelieving；　I　clung　to　him　and　cried　until　I　was　hoarse；　and　my　mouth　so　dry　no　sound　would　e　at　all。　〃You　were　right；〃　he　said　into　my　hair；　quietly；　calmingly。　〃You　were　right。　I　was　asking　you　to　do　something　wrong；　and　you　were　right　to　refuse　it。　You　won't　be　tested　that　way　again。　Not　by　me。〃　And　when　I　was　finally　still；　he　left　me　for　a　time；　and　then　brought　back　to　me　a　drink；　lukewarm　and　almost　tasteless　but　not　water。　He　held　the　mug　to　my　mouth　and　I　drank　it　down　without　questions。　Then　I　lay　back　so　suddenly　sleepy　that　I　don't　even　remember　Chade　leaving　my　room。
　　　　　　　I　awoke　near　dawn　and　reported　to　Burrich　after　a　hearty　breakfast。　I　was　quick　at　my　chores　and　attentive　to　my　charges　and　could　not　at　all　understand　why　he　had　awakened　so　headachy　and　grumpy。　He　muttered　something　once　about　〃his　father's　head　for　spirits〃　and　then　dismissed　me　early；　telling　me　to　take　my　whistling　elsewhere。
　　　　　　　Three　days　later　King　Shrewd　summoned　me　in　the　dawn。　He　was　already　dressed；　and　there　was　a　tray　and　food　for　more　than　one　person　set　out　on　it。　As　soon　as　I　arrived；　he　sent　away　his　man　and　told　me　to　sit。　I　took　a　chair　at　the　small　table　in　his　room；　and　without　asking　me　if　I　were　hungry；　he　served　me　food　with　his　own　hand　and　sat　down　across　from　me　to　eat　himself。　The　gesture　was　not　lost　on　me；　but　even　so　I　could　not　bring　myself　to　eat　much。　He　spoke　only　of　the　food；　and　said　nothing　of　bargains　or　loyalty　or　keeping　one's　word。　When　he　saw　I　had　finished　eating；　he　pushed　his　own　plate　away。　He　shifted　unfortably。
　　　　　　　〃It　was　my　idea；〃　he　said　suddenly；　almost　harshly。　〃Not　his。　He　never　approved　of　it。　I　insisted。　When　you're　older；　you'll　understand。　I　can　take　no　chances；　not　on　anyone。　But　I　promised　him　that　you'd　know　this　right　from　me。　It　was　all　my　own　idea；　never　his。　And　I　will　never　ask　him　to　try　your　mettle　in　such　a　way　again。　On　that　you　have　a　king's　word。〃
　　　　　　　He　made　a　motion　that　dismissed　me。　And　I　rose；　but　as　I　did　so　I　took　from　his　tray　a　little　silver　knife；　all　engraved；　that　he　had　been　using　to　cut　fruit　with。　I　looked　him　in　the　eyes　as　I　did　so；　and　quite　openly　slipped　it　up　my　sleeve。　King　Shrewd's　eyes　widened；　but　he　said　not　a　word。
　　　　　　　Two　nights　later；　when　Chade　summoned　me；　our　lessons　resumed　as　if　there　had　never　been　a　pause。　He　talked；　I　listened；　I　played　his　stone　game　and　never　made　an　error。　He　gave　me　an　assignment；　and　we　made　small　jokes　together。　He　showed　me　how　Slink　the　weasel　would　dance　for　a　sausage。　All　was　well　between　us　again。　But　before　I　left　his　chambers　that　night；　I　walked　to　his　hearth。　Without　a　word；　I　placed　the　knife　on　the　center　of　his　mantel　shelf。　Actually；　I　drove　it；　blade　first；　into　the　wood　of　the　shelf。　Then　I　left　without　speaking　of　it　or　meeting　his　eyes。　In　fact；　we　never　spoke　of　it。
　　　　　　　I　believe　that　the　knife　is　still　there。
　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　CHAPTER　SIX
　　　　　　　Chivalry's　Shadow
　　　　　　　THERE　ARE　TWO　TRADITIONS　about　the　custom　of　giving　royal　offspring　names　suggestive　of　virtues　or　abilities。　The　one　that　is　most　monly　held　is　that　somehow　these　names　are　binding；　that　when　such　a　name　is　attached　to　a　child　who　will　be　trained　in　the　Skill；　somehow　the　Skill　melds　the　name　to　the　child；　and　the　child　cannot　help　but　grow　up　to　practice　the　virtue　ascribed　to　him　or　her　by　name。　This　first　tradition　is　most　doggedly　believed　by　those　same　ones　most　prone　to　doff　their　caps　in　the　presence　of　minor　nobility。
　　　　　　　A　more　ancient　tradition　attributes　such　names　to　accident；　at　least　initially。　It　is　said　that　King　Taker　and　King　Ruler；　the　first　two　of　the　Outislanders　to　rule　what　would　bee　the　Six　Duchies；　had　no　such　names　at　all。　Rather　that　their　names　in　their　own　foreign　tongue　were　very　similar　to　the　sounds　of　such　words　in　the　Duchies'　tongue；　and　thus　came　to　be　known　by　their　homonyms　rather　than　by　their　true　names。　But　for　the　purposes　of　royalty；　it　is　better　to　have　the　mon　folk　believe　that　a　boy　given　a　noble　name　must　grow　to　have　a　noble　nature。
　　　　　　　
　　　　　　　〃Boy！〃
　　　　　　　I　lifted　my　head。　Of　the　half　dozen　or　so　other　lads　lounging　about　before　the　fire；　no　one　else　even　flinched。
　　　　　　　The　girls　took　even　less　notice　as　I　moved　up　to　take　my　place　at　the　opposite　side　of　the　low　table　where　Master　Fedwren　knelt。　He　had　mastered　some　trick　of　inflection　that　let　all　know　when　boy　meant　〃boy〃　and　when　it　meant　〃the　bastard。〃
　　　　　　　I　tucked　my　knees　under　the　low　table　and　sat　on　my　feet；　then　presented　Fedwren　with　my　sheet　of　pith　paper。　As　he　ran　his　eyes　down　my　careful　columns　of　letters；　I　let　my　attention　wander。
　　　　　　　Winter　had　harvested　us　and　stored　us　here　in　the　Great　Hall。　Outside；　a　sea　storm　lashed　the　walls　of　the　keep　while　breakers　pounded　the　cliffs　with　a　force　that　occasionally　sent　a　tremor　through　the　stone　floor　beneath　us。　The　heavy　overcast　had　stolen　even　the　few　hours　of　watery　daylight　that　winter　had　left　us。　It　seemed　to　me　that　a　darkness　lay　over　us　like　a　fog；　both　outside　and　within。　The　dimness　penetrated　my　eyes；　so　that　I　felt　sleepy　without　feeling　tired。　For　a　brief　moment　I　let　my　senses　expand　and　felt　the　winter　sluggishness　of　the　hounds　where　they　dozed　and　twitched　in　the　corners。　Not　even　there　could　I　find　a　thought　or　image　to　interest　me。
　　　　　　　Fires　burned　in　all　three　of　the　big　hearths；　and　different　groups　had　gathered　before　each。　At　one；　fletchers　busied　themselves　with　their　work；　lest　tomorrow　be　a　clear　enough　day　to　allow　for　a　hunt。　I　longed　to　be　there；　for　Sherf's　mellow　voice　was　rising　and　falling　in　the　telling　of　some　tale；　broken　frequently　with　appreciative　laughter　from　her　listeners。　At　the　end　hearth；　children's　voices　piped　along　in　the　chorus　of　a　song。　I　recognized　it　as　the　Shepherd's　Song；　a　counting　tune。　A　few　watchful　mothers　tapped　toes　as　they　tatted　at　their　lacemaking　while　Jerdon's　withered　old　fingers　on　the　harp　strings　kept　the　young　voices　almost　in　tune。
　　　　　　　Here；　at　our　hearth；　children　old　enough　to　sit　still　and　learn　letters　did　so。　Fedwren　saw　to　that。　His　sharp　blue　eyes　missed　nothing。　〃Here；〃　he　said　to　me；　pointing。　〃You've　forgotten　to　cross　their　tails。　Remember　how　I　showed　you？　Justice；　open　your　eyes　and　get　back　to　your　pen　work。　Doze　off　again　and　I'll　let　you　bring　us　another　log　for　the　fire。　Charity；　you　can　help　him　if　you　smirk　again。　Other　than　that〃…and　his　attention　was　suddenly　back　on　my　work　again〃your　lettering　is　much　improved；　not　only　on　these　Duchian　characters；　but　on　the　Outislander　runes　as　well。　Though　those　can't　really　be　properly　brushed　onto　such　poor　paper。　The　surface　is　too　porous；　and　takes　the　ink　too　well。　Good　pounded　bark　sheets　are　what　you　want　for　runes；〃　and　he　ran　a　finger　appreciatively　over　the　sheet　he　was　working　on。　〃Continue　to　show　this　type　of　work；　and　before　winter's　out　I'll　let　you　make　me　a　copy　of　Queen　Bidewell's　Remedies。　What　do　you　say　to　that？〃
　　　　　　　I　tried　to　smile　and　be　properly　flattered。　Copy　work　was　not　usually　given　to　students；　good　paper　was　too　rare；　and　one　careless　brushstroke　could　ruin　a　sheet。　I　knew　the　Remedies　was　a　fairly　simple　set　of　herbal　properties　and　prophecies；　but　any　copying　was　an　honor　to　aspire　to。　Fedwren　gave　me　a　fresh　sheet　of　pith　paper。　As　I　rose　to　return　to　my　place　he　l