rh.theassassinsapprentice-第71部分

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；　and　leave　him　thinking　it　was　all　his　own　idea　to　please　me。　But　all　that　eludes　Galen；　both　in　the　use　of　the　Skill　and　the　teaching　of　it。　He　uses　force　to　batter　his　way　in。　Privation　and　pain　are　one　way　to　lower　a　man's　defenses；　it　is　the　only　way　Galen　believes　in。　But　Solicity　used　guile。　She　would　have　me　watch　a　kite；　or　a　bit　of　dust　floating　in　a　sunbeam；　focusing　on　it　as　if　there　were　nothing　else　in　the　world。　And　suddenly　there　she　would　be；　inside　my　mind　with　me；　smiling　and　praising　me。　She　taught　me　that　being　open　was　simply　not　being　closed。　And　going　into　another's　mind　is　mostly　done　by　being　willing　to　go　outside　of　your　own。　Do　you　see；　boy？〃
　　　　　　　〃Somewhat；〃　I　hedged。
　　　　　　　〃Somewhat。〃　He　sighed。　〃I　could　teach　you　to　Skill；　had　I　but　the　time。　I　do　not。　But　tell　me　this　…　were　your　lessons　going　well；　before　he　tested　you？〃
　　　　　　　〃No。　I　never　had　any　aptitude　。。。　wait！　That's　not　true！　What　am　I　saying；　what　have　I　been　thinking？〃　Though　I　was　sitting；　I　swayed　suddenly；　my　head　bounding　off　the　arm　of　Verity's　chair。　He　reached　out　a　hand　and　steadied　me。
　　　　　　　〃I　was　too　swift；　I　suppose。　Steady　now；　boy。　Someone　had　misted　you。　Befuddled　you；　much　as　I　do　Red…Ship　navigators　and　steersmen。　Convince　them　they've　taken　a　sighting　already　and　their　course　is　true　when　really　they　are　steering　into　a　cross　current。　Convince　them　they've　passed　a　point　they　haven't　sighted　yet。　Someone　convinced　you　that　you　could　not　Skill。〃
　　　　　　　〃Galen。〃　I　spoke　with　certainty。　I　almost　knew　the　moment。　He　had　slammed　into　me　that　afternoon；　and　from　that　time　nothing　had　been　the　same。　I　had　been　living　in　a　fog；　all　those　months　。。。。
　　　　　　　〃Probably。　Though　if　you　Skilled　into　him　at　all；　I'm　sure　you've　seen　what　Chivalry　did　to　him。　He　hated　your　father　with　a　passion；　prior　to　Chiv　turning　him　into　a　lapdog。　We　felt　badly　about　it。　We'd　have　undone　it；　if　we　could　have　figured　out　how　to　do　it；　and　escape　Solicity's　detection。　But　Chiv　was　strong　with　the　Skill；　and　we　were　all　but　boys　then；　and　Chiv　was　angry　when　he　did　it。　Over　something　Galen　had　done　to　me；　ironically。　Even　when　Chivalry　was　not　angry；　being　Skilled　by　him　was　like　being　trampled　by　a　horse。　Or　ducked　in　a　fast…flowing　river；　more　like。　He'd　get　in　a　hurry；　and　barge　into　you　and　dump　his　information　and　flee。〃　He　paused　again　and　reached　to　uncover　a　dish　of　soup　on　his　tray。　〃I　guess　I've　always　assumed　you　knew　all　this。　Though　I'm　damned　if　there's　any　way　you　could　have。　Who　would　have　told　you？〃
　　　　　　　I　seized　on　one　piece　of　information。　〃You　could　teach　me　to　Skill？〃
　　　　　　　〃If　I　had　time。　A　great　deal　of　time。　You're　a　lot　like　Chiv　and　I　were；　when　we　learned。　Erratic。　Strong；　but　with　no　idea　how　to　bring　that　strength　to　bear。　And　Galen　has　。。。　well；　scarred　you；　I　suppose。　You've　walls　I　can't　begin　to　penetrate；　and　I　am　strong。　You'd　have　to　learn　to　drop　them。　That's　a　hard　thing。　But　I　could　teach　you；　yes。　If　you　and　I　had　a　year；　and　nothing　else　to　do。〃　He　pushed　the　soup　aside。　〃But　we　don't。〃
　　　　　　　My　hopes　crashed　again。　This　second　wave　of　disappointment　engulfed　me；　grinding　me　against　stones　of　frustration。　My　memories　all　reordered　themselves；　and　in　a　surge　of　anger；　I　knew　all　that　had　been　done　to　me。　Were　it　not　for　Smithy；　I'd　have　dashed　my　life　out　at　the　base　of　the　tower　that　night。　Galen　had　tried　to　kill　me；　just　as　surely　as　if　he'd　had　a　knife。　No　one　would　even　have　known　of　how　he'd　beaten　me；　save　his　loyal　coterie。　And　while　he'd　failed　at　that；　he　had　taken　from　me　the　chance　to　learn　Skilling。　He'd　crippled　me；　and　I　would　。。。　I　leaped　to　my　feet；　furious。
　　　　　　　〃Whoa。　Be　slow　and　careful。　You　have　a　grievance；　but　we　cannot　have　discord　within　the　keep　itself　right　now。　Carry　it　with　you　until　you　can　settle　it　quietly；　for　the　King's　sake。〃　I　bowed　my　head　to　the　wisdom　of　his　counsel。　He　lifted　the　cover　from　a　small　roast　fowl；　dropped　it　again。　〃Why　would　you　want　to　learn　this　Skill　anyway？　It's　a　miserable　thing。　No　fit　occupation　for　a　man。〃
　　　　　　　〃To　help　you；〃　I　said　without　thinking；　and　then　found　it　true。　Once　it　would　have　been　to　prove　myself　a　true　and　fit　son　to　Chivalry；　to　impress　Burrich　or　Chade；　to　increase　my　standing　in　the　keep。　Now；　after　watching　what　Verity　did；　day　after　day；　with　no　praise　or　acknowledgment　from　his　subjects；　I　found　I　only　wanted　to　help　him。
　　　　　　　〃To　help　me；〃　he　repeated。　The　storm　winds　were　slackening。　With　exhausted　resignation；　he　lifted　his　eyes　to　the　window。　〃Take　the　food　away；　boy。　I've　no　time　for　it　now。〃
　　　　　　　〃But　you　need　strength；〃　I　protested。　Guiltily；　I　knew　he　had　taken　time　with　me　that　he　should　have　taken　for　food　and　sleep。
　　　　　　　〃I　know。　But　I　have　no　time。　Eating　takes　energy。　Odd　to　realize　that。　I　have　none　extra　to　give　to　that　just　now。〃　His　eyes　were　questing　afar　now；　staring　through　the　sheeting　rain　that　was　just　beginning　to　slacken。
　　　　　　　〃I'd　give　you　my　strength；　Verity。　If　I　could。〃
　　　　　　　He　looked　at　me　oddly。　〃Are　you　sure？　Very　sure？〃
　　　　　　　I　could　not　understand　the　intensity　of　his　question；　but　I　knew　the　answer。　〃Of　course　I　would。〃　And　more　quietly：　〃I　am　a　king's　man。〃　〃And　of　my　own　blood；〃　he　affirmed。　He　sighed。　For　a　moment　he　looked　sickened。　He　looked　again　at　the　food；　and　again　out　the　window。　〃There　is　just　time；〃　he　whispered。　〃And　it　might　be　enough。　Damnation　to　you；　Father。　Must　you　always　win？　e　here；　then；　boy。〃
　　　　　　　There　was　an　intensity　to　his　words　that　frightened　me；　but　I　obeyed。　When　I　stood　by　his　chair；　he　reached　out　a　hand。　He　placed　it　on　my　shoulder；　as　if　he　needed　assistance　to　rise。
　　　　　　　I　looked　up　at　him　from　the　floor。　There　was　a　pillow　under　my　head；　and　the　blanket　I　had　brought　up　earlier　had　been　tossed　over　me。　Verity　stood；　leaning　out　the　window。　He　was　shaking　with　effort；　and　the　Skill　he　exerted　was　like　battering　waves　I　could　almost　feel。　〃Onto　the　rocks；〃　he　said　with　deep　satisfaction；　and　whirled　from　the　window。　He　grinned　at　me；　an　old　fierce　grin；　that　faded　slowly　as　he　looked　down　on　me。
　　　　　　　〃Like　a　calf　to　the　slaughter；〃　he　said　ruefully。　〃I　should　have　known　that　you　didn't　know　what　you　were　talking　about。〃
　　　　　　　〃What　happened　to　me？〃　I　managed　to　ask。　My　teeth　chattered　against　each　other；　and　my　whole　body　shook　as　with　a　chill。　I　felt　I　would　rattle　my　bones　out　of　their　joints。
　　　　　　　〃You　offered　me　your　strength。　I　took　it。〃　He　poured　a　cup　of　the　tea；　then　knelt　to　hold　it　to　my　mouth。　〃Go　slowly。　I　was　in　a　hurry。　Did　I　say　earlier　that　Chivalry　was　a　bull　with　his　Skill？　What　must　I　say　about　myself　then？〃
　　　　　　　He　had　his　old　bluff　heartiness　and　good　nature　back。　This　was　a　Verity　I　had　not　seen　for　months。　I　managed　a　mouthful　of　the　tea　and　felt　the　elfbark　sting　my　mouth　and　throat。　My　shivering　eased。　Verity　took　a　casual　gulp　from　the　mug。
　　　　　　　〃In　the　old　days；〃　he　said　conversationally；　〃a　king　would　draw　on　his　coterie。　Half　a　dozen　men　or　more；　and　all　in　tune　with　one　another；　able　to　pool　strength　and　offer　it　as　needed。　That　was　their　true　purpose。　To　provide　strength　to　their　king；　or　to　their　own　key　man。　I　don't　think　Galen　quite　grasps　that。　His　coterie　is　a　thing　he　has　fashioned。　They　are　like　horses　and　bullocks　and　donkeys；　all　harnessed　together。　Not　a　true　coterie　at　all。　They　lack　the　singleness　of　mind。〃
　　　　　　　〃You　drew　strength　from　me？〃
　　　　　　　〃Yes。　Believe　me；　boy；　I　would　not　have；　except　that　I　had　a　sudden　need；　and　I　thought　you　knew　what　you　offered。　You　yourself　named　yourself　as　a　king's　man；　the　old　term。　And　as　close　as　we　are　in　blood；　I　knew　I　could　tap　you。〃　He　set　the　mug　down　on　the　tray　with　a　thump。　Disgust　deepened　his　voice。　〃Shrewd。　He　sets　things　in　motion；　wheels　turning；　pendulums　swaying。　It　is　no　accident　you　are　the　one　to　bring　me　my　meals；　boy。　He　was　making　you　available　to　me。〃　He　took　a　swift　turn　about　the　room；　then　stopped；　standing　over　me。　〃It　will　not　happen　again。〃
　　　　　　　〃It　was　not　so　bad；〃　I　said　faintly。
　　　　　　　〃No？　Why　don't　you　try　to　stand；　then？　Or　even　sit　up？　You're　just　one　boy；　alone；　not　a　coterie。　Had　I　not　realized　your　ignorance　and　drawn　back；　I　could　have　killed　you。　Your　heart　and　breath　would　just　have　stopped。　I'll　not　drain　you　like　this；　not　for　anyone。　Here。〃　He　stooped；　and　without　effort；　lifted　me　and　placed　me　in　his　chair。　〃Sit　here　a　bit。　And　eat。　I　don't　need　it　now。　And　when　you　are　better；　go　to　Shrewd　for　me。　Say　that　I　say　you　are　a　distraction。　I　wish　a　kitchen　boy　to　bring　my　meals；　from　now　on。
　　　　　　　〃Verity；〃　I　began。
　　　　　　　〃No；〃　he　corrected　me。　〃Say　'my　prince。'　For　in　this；　I　am　your　prince；　and　I　will　not　be　questioned　on　it。　Now　eat。〃
　　　　　　　I　bowed　my　head；　miserable；　but　I　did　eat；　and　the　elfbark　in　the　tea　worked　to　revive　me　faster　than　I　had　expected。　Soon　I　could　stand；　to　stack　the　dishes　on　the　tray　and　then　to　carry　them　to　the　door。　I　felt　defeated。　I　lifted　the　latch。
　　　　　　　〃FitzChivalry　Farseer。〃
　　　　　　　I　halted；　frozen　by　the　words。　I　turned　slowly。
　　　　　　　〃It's　your　name；　boy。　I　wrote　it　myself；　in　the　military　log；　on　the　day　you　were　brought　to　me。　Another　thing　I　had　thought　you　knew。　Stop　thinking　of　yourself　as　the　bastard；　FitzChivalry　Farseer。