tw.togreenangeltower2-第157部分

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　to　struggle　with　that　discovery　myself　in　the　last　few　days。　But　does　it　make　him　any　less　a　king？　People　need　to　believe　something　whether　you　want　them　to　or　not。　If　you　don't　give　them　things　to　believe；　they　will　make　things　up。
　　　　　　　〃Right　now　they　are　frightened　of　the　future。　Most　of　the　world　we　know　is　in　a　shambles；　Simon。　And　the　survivors　are　wary　of　Miriamele　because　of　who　she　is　and　because　of　uncertainty　about　what　she's　done…and　because　she's　a　young　woman；　to　speak　bluntly。　The　barons　want　a　man；　someone　strong　but　not　too　strong；　and　they　want　no　civil　wars　over　a　reigning　queen's　choice　of　husbands。〃　Isgrimnur　reached　out　to　touch　Simon's　arm；　but　decided　against　it　and　drew　his　hand　back。　〃Listen　to　me。　The　people　who　followed　Josua　love　you；　Simon；　almost　as　much　as　they　loved　the　prince。　More　in　some　ways；　perhaps。　You　know　and　I　know　that　what　blood　flows　in　you　makes　no　difference…it's　all　red。　But　your　people　need　to　believe　in　something；　and　they　are　cold　and　hurting　and　homeless。〃
Simon　stared　at　him。　Isgrimnur　could　not　help　feeling　the　force　of　the　young　man's　rage。　He　had　grown　indeed。　He　would　be　a　formidable　man…no；　he　was　so　already。
　　　　　　　〃And　for　such　tricks　you　would　have　me　betray　Miriamele？〃　Simon　demanded。
〃Not　betray；〃　Isgrimnur　said。　〃I　will　give　you　a　few　days　to　think　about　it；　then　I　will　go　and　put　it　to　her　myself。　We　will　bury　our　dead　tomorrow；　and　the　people　will　see　us　all　together。　That　will　be　enough　for　now。〃　The　duke　shook　his　head。　〃I'm　not　going　to　lie　to　her；　Simon…that's　not　my　way…but　I　wanted　you　to　have　a　chance　to　hear　me　first。〃　He　suddenly　felt　immensely　sorry　for　the　young　man。
He　probably　thought　he　would　have　a　chance　to　lick　his　wounds　in　peace…and　he's　got　plenty　of　them。　We　all　do。　
　　　　　　　〃Think　about　it；　Simon。　We　need　you…all　of　us。　It　will　be　hard　enough　for　me　to　pull　my　own　dukedom　together；　not　to　mention　what　will　happen　to　young　Varellan；　orphaned　in　Nabban；　and　whoever　still　remains　in　Hernystir。　We　need　at　least　the　appearance　of　the　High　King's　Ward　again；　and　someone　the　people　trust　sitting　on　the　throne　at　the　Hayholt。〃
He　rose　from　the　low　stair；　trying　not　to　show　how　much　his　back　hurt；　bowed　stiffly　to　Simon…which　in　itself　was　an　odd　sensation…and　stumped　away　across　the　throne　room；　leaving　the　rest　of　the　circle　in　silence。　He　could　feel　Simon's　eyes　on　his　back。
　　　　　　　God　help　me；　Isgrimnur　thought　as　he　emerged　into　the　twilight。　I　need　a　rest。　A　long　rest。

　　　　　　　He　looked　up　from　the　fire　at　the　sound　of　footsteps。　〃Binabik？〃
　　　　　　　She　moved　forward　into　the　light。　Despite　the　cool　spring　night　and　the　patches　of　still　unmelted　snow；　her　feet　were　bare。　Her　cloak　fluttered　in　the　breeze　that　swept　down　the　hillside　from　the　Hayholt。
〃I　couldn't　sleep；〃　she　said。
　　　　　　　For　a　moment　Simon　hesitated。　He　had　not　expected　anyone；　least　of　all　her。　After　the　day…long　memorial　for　Josua；　Camaris；　Isorn；　and　the　other　dead；　Binabik　had　gone　off　to　spend　the　evening　with　Strangyeard　and　Tiamak；　leaving　Simon　alone　to　sit　before　his　tent　and　think。　Her　arrival　seemed　a　thing　he　might　have　dreamed　while　staring　into　the　campfire。
〃Miriamele。〃　He　clambered　awkwardly　to　his　feet。　〃Princess。　Sit　down；　please。〃　He　gestured　to　a　stone　near
the　fire。
　　　　　　　She　sat；　drawing　her　cloak　close　around　her。　〃Are　you　well？〃　she　asked　at　last。
　　　　　　　〃I'm　。　。　。〃　He　paused。　〃I　don't　know。　Things　are　strange。〃
She　nodded。　〃It's　hard　to　believe　it's　finished。　It's　hard　to　believe　they're　all　gone　forever。〃
He　moved　unfortably；　not　certain　if　she　spoke　of　friends　or　enemies。　〃There　are　still　lots　of　things　to　be　done。　People　are　scattered；　the　world　has　been　turned　upside…down。　。　。　。〃　Simon　waved　his　hand　vaguely。　〃There's　lots　to　do。〃
　　　　　　　Miriamele　leaned　forward；　stretching　her　hands　toward　the　fire。　Simon　watched　the　light　play　across　her　delicate　features　and　felt　his　heart　clutch　hopelessly。　All　the　royal　blood　in　the　world　might　run　in　his　veins；　rivers　of　it；　but　it　did　not　matter　if　she　did　not　care　for　him。　During　all　of　today's　rites　for　the　fallen；　she　had　not　once　met　his　eyes。　Even　their　friendship　seemed　to　have　faded。
　　　　　　　It　would　serve　her　right　if　I　let　them　force　me　to　take　the　throne。　He　turned　away　to　stare　at　the　flames；　feeling　low　and　mean…spirited。　But　it　is　hers　by　right。　She　was　Prester　John's　granddaughter。　What　difference　did　it　make　that　some　ancestor　of　Simon's　had　been　king　two　centuries　ago？
　　　　　　　〃I　killed　him；　Simon；〃　she　said　abruptly。　〃I　traveled　all　that　way　to　speak　to　him；　to　try　to　let　him　know　I　understood　。。。　but　instead　I　killed　him。〃　There　was　devastation　in　her　words。　〃Killed　him！〃
　　　　　　　Simon　searched　frantically　for　something　to　say。　〃You　saved　us　all；　Miriamele。〃
〃He　was　a　good　man；　Simon。　Loud　and　short…tempered；　perhaps；　but　he　was　。　。　。　before　my　mother　。　；　；〃　She　blinked　her　eyes　rapidly。　〃My　own　father！〃
　　　　　　　〃You　had　no　other　choice。〃　Simon　ached　to　see　her　in　such　pain。　'There　was　nothing　else　you　could　have　done；　Miri。　You　saved　us。〃
　　　　　　　〃He　knew　me　at　the　end。　May　God　help　me；　Simon；　I　think　he　wanted　me　to　do　it。　I　looked　at　him　。。。　and　he　was　so　unhappy。　He　was　in　so　much　pain！〃　She　rubbed　at　her　face　with　her　cloak。　〃I　will　not　cry；〃　she　said　harshly。　〃I　am　so　weary　of　crying！〃
　　　　　　　The　wind　grew　stronger；　sighing　through　the　grass。
〃And　sweet　Uncle　Josua！〃　she　said；　more　quietly　now；　but　with　a　core　of　urgency。　〃Gone；　like　everyone　else。　Gone。　All　my　family　gone。　And　poor；　tormented　Camaris。　Ah；　God。　What　kind　of　a　world　is　this？〃　Her　shoulders　were　heaving。　Simon　reached　out　and　awkwardly　took　her　hand。　She　did　not　try　to　pull　away；　as　he　felt　sure　she　would。　Instead；　they　sat　in　silence　except　for　the　crackling　of　the　fire。　〃And　C…Cadrach；　too；〃　she　murmured　at　last。　〃Oh；　Merciful　Elysia；　in　some　ways　he　is　the　worst。　He　wanted　only　to　die；　but　he　waited　for　me　。。。　for　us。　He　stayed；　despite　all　that　had　happened；　despite　all　the　terrible　things　I　said　to　him。〃　She　lowered　her　head；　staring　at　the　ground。　Her　voice　was　painfully　raw。　〃In　his　way；　he　loved　me。　That　was　cruel　of　him；　wasn't　it？〃
　　　　　　　Simon　shook　his　head。　There　was　nothing　to　say。　She　suddenly　turned　to　him；　eyes　wide。　〃Let's　go　away！　We　can　take　the　horses　and　be　half　a　dozen　leagues　from　here　by　morning。　I　don't　want　to　be　a　queen！〃　She　squeezed　his　hand。　〃Oh；　please　don't　leave　me！〃
　　　　　　　〃Go　away？　Where？　And　why　would　I　leave　you？〃　Simon　felt　his　heart　speed。　It　was　hard　to　think；　hard　to　believe　he　had　truly　understood　her。　〃Miriamele；　what　are　you　talking　about？〃
〃Curse　you；　Simon！　Are　you　really　as　foolish　as　people　used　to　think　you　were？〃　She　now　grasped　his　hand　in　both　of　hers；　tears　gleamed　on　her　cheeks。　〃I　don't　care　if　you　were　a　kitchen　boy。　I　don't　care　that　your　father　was　a　fisherman。　I　only　want　you；　Simon。　Oh；　do　you　think　I'm　an　idiot？　I　am　an　idiot；　I　suppose。〃　Her　laugh　had　a　touch　of　wildness　to　it。　She　let　go　of　his　hand　for　a　moment　to　wipe　at　her　eyes　again。　〃I've　been　brooding　about　this　ever　since　the　tower　fell。　I　can't　stand　it！　Uncle　Isgrimnur　and　the　others；　they're　going　to　make　me　take　the　throne；　I　know　they　will。　And　I'll　go　back　to　being　the　old　Miriamele　again；　except　this　time　it　will　be　a　thousand；　thousand　times　worse！　It　will　be　a　prison。　And　then　I'll　have　to　marry　some　other　Fengbald…just　because　he's　dead　doesn't　mean　there　aren't　a　hundred　more　just　like　him…and　I'll　never　have　another　adventure；　or　be　free；　or　do　what　I　want　to　。。。　and　you'll　go　away；　Simon！　I'll　lose　you！　The　only　one　I　really　care　about。〃
　　　　　　　He　stood；　then　pulled　her　up　from　the　stone　so　he　could　put　his　arms　around　her。　They　were　both　shaking；　and　for　a　little　time　all　he　could　do　was　grapple　her　to　him　and　hang　on；　as　though　the　wind　might　sweep　her　away。
〃I've　loved　you　so　long；　Miriamele。〃　He　could　not　keep　his　voice　steady。
〃You　frighten　me。　You　don't　know　how　you　frighten　me。〃　Her　voice　was　muffled　against　his　chest。　〃I　don't　know　what　you　see　when　you　look　at　me。　But　please　don't　go　away；〃　she　said　urgently。　〃Whatever　happens；　don't　go　away。〃
　　　　　　　〃I　won't。〃　He　leaned　back　so　he　could　see　her。　Her　eyes　were　bright；　fresh　tears　trembling　on　the　lower　lashes。　His　own　eyes　were　blurring　as　well。　He　laughed；　his　voice　cracked。　〃I　won't　leave　you。　I　promised　I　wouldn't；　don't　you　remember？〃
　　　　　　　〃Sir　Seoman。　My　Simon。　You　are　my　love；〃　She　sucked　in　her　breath。　〃How　did　it　happen？〃
　　　　　　　He　leaned　forward；　pressing　his　mouth　against　hers；　and　as　they　clung　to　each　other　the　starry　sky　seemed　to　spin　around　the　place　where　they　stood。　Simon's　hands　moved　beneath　her　cloak　and　he　ran　his　lingers　down　the　long　muscles　of　her　back。　Miriameie　shuddered　and　pulled　him　closer；　rubbing　her　damp　face　against　his　neck。
Feeling　the　length　of　her　pressed　against　him　filled　Simon　with　a　kind　of　drunken；　joyous　madness。　With　his　arms　still　locked　around　her；　he　took　a　few　staggering　steps　toward　the　tent。　He　tasted　the　salt　of　her　tears　and　covered　her　eyes　and　cheeks　and　lips　with　kisses　as　her　hair　swirled　around　him　and　stuck　to　his　damp　face。
　　　　　　　Inside　the　tent；　hidden　from　the　prying　stars；　they　wrapped　themselves　tightly　around　each　other；　clu